Originally Posted by perspective
And that last statement in bold is exactly my point. This is not about him, and what he wants, BUT its also not just what the mother wants either.In the end her position is right because it allows the child the most free-will and control over his own body.
But you do not understand is he probably feels like there is nothing wrong with his penis. So saying so, is only going to sound insulting, and is not going to resolve anything. She does not have to do "all the work" she just has to do a good job of explaining her points, and obviously so far she hasn't.
This is a marriage they have going here, and what comes along with that is discussion. Any parent (or partner in marriage) who comes into a problem and says "its my way or the highway" is acting destructively. No matter how right they may be. As a partner you have the RESPONSIBILITY to explain your points, especially when it comes to something thats important. Shutting your ears and walking away because things do not get resolved in the first discussion is not an option.
Now its true such an action would be easier. The task of discussion, explanation, and understanding do involve work, but often they are a required part of partnership. If thats something you personally are unwilling to take part in, then a sperm bank may be a better bet for you. But the OP is trying to have an adult discussion with her DH and up until now they have not found a way of connecting on this subject. And I hope (besides the legal "just in case advise") we can provide advice that can help her reach her goal.
Um he has not effectively gotten his point across either.
I was not saying that your argument was in totality wrong. I wanted to make that clear. She HAS discussed it with him and while a man who is circed may be offended by her reasoning, it is HER REASONING and good reasoning at that. If he is offended, that is something he needs to get over for the better of his son.
She is talking, but in the end, if the man I was married to would not agree, I would divorce him to take all routes to protect my baby. Saying my way or the highway is destructive for who, in this case, not my sons genitalia and that is my goal!
Not to help my partner get over his issue, ulitmately.
Are your comments about a sperm bank towards me individually? I have a DF who is the father of my child. He is someone I am extremely compatible with and made sure before I made the decision to even date him. We discussed my parenting and beliefs and with some informative conversations, he agreed with me on everything. I believe in the sanctity of marriage. But I believe more in the protection of the children that came from my body. Mutilating them is wrong and I will protect them against it. Just the same if he was abusing them in some other way. I do have wonderful intelligent conversations with my DF, we do from time to time disagree on things and we communicate effectively to resolve conflict. But if it came down to it, I would do whatever I had to to protect my son. If that makes me less of a wife and more of a mother, I AM FREAKING PROUD!