Originally Posted by Smithie
Oh, mama. (((hugs))) I'm not sure I could bring myself to stay in that situation. Joint custody is so, so hard when the Other Mother is NOT a junkie, and the Dad is NOT off in his own world.
In all seriousness, I'm not sure there's a happy ending here for you. There no such thing as a perfect life partner, but there are plenty who are more engaged in the day-to-day life of their children and don't have such massive misbehaving-ex baggage.
It's not easy, but somehow it works. DP is very aware of his problems, at least now he is. We've been together for 1 1/2 years, been living together for almost a year now. He's the first guy I've ever been with for so long, first guy I ever move in with. I used to always end relationships whenever they didnt feel right, too complicated but besides all the negative factors and this being the most complicated relationship I've ever been. Considering I've never been before with someone who had a kid, a mental disorder and was a recovered drug addict, even less the three of them combined, this feels very right. It sounds weird, but I cant explain it. It just is, there has been so much growing in the time we've been together, from both our parts. And I've seen him change so much for the better. I feel that so have I.
There have been a lot of things to overcome, specially when he was coming off the morphine on the beginning of our relationship, but you know how when relationships are difficult you think to yourself "It's not supposed to be this hard, this isnt right". Well, to me it feels like our love strong and we just keep getting closer and closer.
Again, it's difficult to explain, because it's such an abstract feeling, but we have a very unique relationship and yes DP doesnt sound like the best guy in writing, but in RL he is, I dont know, more like we are perfect together. Not saying there arent problems, there are, but I find we deal with them very well. The communication, the closeness keeps improving.
DP goes off to his world, I tell him "John, come back". He's sitting right next to me, not like I call him asking him to come back home or anything like that haha and he always says that he loves how I notice and just say that. It works. The good really overcomes the bad.
I do appreciate your advice and concern, if DP was any other guy I would had probably been gone a looooong time ago, instead of finding myself more and more in love. We're the same star and the way we feel and understand each other is unexplainable.
My biggest issue is dealing with dss's mom and that I wish so much dss was with us 24/7.