Would you break the law to keep your family together?

[guest9955]

Its a long and very sad story but here is the basics

we have bee waiting over a year for my husbands green card, homeland security is backlogged and there is nothing we can do to speed thing along (trust me i've tried).

Me, dd who is 5mo, and dh are all in his country Lithuania, waiting for the green card so we can all return to the USA, where we have our home. DD and I only have until Feb 25 and our visas here expire. Should we get caught on exit we are unsure of the punishment they would give us (as we are married/DD of a national here) but it could be lots of $$ (we don't have) or problems ever coming back.

If we leave, we have no idea how much longer it will be until we will see DH again, but not any shorter than 3 months and that would be BEST CASE. He cant come to the USA, we cant stay here.

What would you do? Stay? Go? DH says stay, but I cant help but worry what this might mean for us later? Im so confused and upset....

[goodcents]

no do not break the law.

i know this is really hard but it WILL end. it took my husband almost 3 years to get his greencard. he was here so it made it easier on our relationship but it still sucked waiting.

think about it this way, if you end up getting caught and paying fines with money you don't have, that would be money that you found somehow someway. my suggestion would be to find the money somehow and travel very briefly to a different country. can you go someplace within europe and then come back with a new tourist visa?

can you possibly appeal to the lithuanian tourist board to see if they will grant you an extension on the special circumstances?

think about this. what if you can't get into lithuania, and your husband can't get into the USA. that would be TERRIBLE and totally possibly if you break the law of the country that is hosting you.

[alfabetsoup]

Can you get an extension on your visa to stay in Lithuania? And what is your nationality?

[alicia622]

I would not break the law when it comes to something like that. Go when your visa expires. You don't want to find out what would happen.

[nextcommercial]

No. I wouldn't break that law.

I'd go, and wait for my husband here.

Not that this is even remotely the same thing.. But, millions of families are separated while one or both parents are in the service, and while it's hard, it's not impossible.

[meemee]

YIKES NO!!! tempting as it is - it is only a SHORT TIME fix. and might have v. v. bad repurcussion. i dont trust homeland security with anything. esp. now.

i just saw the movie the visitor last night and its strange seeing your post.

yes it will cost a lot of money and a lot of hassle.

in my books not worth it.

i am assuming you have an american passport? then you can go next door to another country and extend it like goodcents said. they havent denied you extension have they?

talk to the consulate and plead with a 5 month old and see if they give you an extension on special grounds.

yeah i know it takes a LONG time to get greencards. sometimes 2 years. or even more. usually one year.

if you do get caught i dont know how it might affect your dh's green card application.

[JamesMama]

No, 100% no...I would NEVER break the law.

My very good friend ran into this, her husband was deported to Mexico while they awaited his green card. Her and their 2 children (and one she gave birth to while he was in Mexico) remained in the US while he was in Mexico. He missed the birth of their 3rd child, he missed birthdays, Christmas, everything...but they did it all by the book and while he was gone for 11 months he is home now...

[Breeder]

What a horrible situation, I'm so sorry about this. Appeal to the tourism board.

[lolar2]

Talk to a lawyer if you can to find out WHAT the punishment, if any, would be. In the US, with certain types of visas, all that happens if you overstay is that you can't come back after you leave, from what I understand. (As long as you don't work or anything.) I am pretty sure the UK has something similar. If that is actually the case with your visas, then staying would be fine. If it's a jailable offense, that's different!

[lolar2]

Originally Posted by meemee

i am assuming you have an american passport? then you can go next door to another country and extend it like goodcents said. they havent denied you extension have they?

talk to the consulate and plead with a 5 month old and see if they give you an extension on special grounds.

Good idea.

[Jessy1019]

I'd stay as long as I wasn't expecting jail time as the punishment -- since that would mean breaking up our family at one point, anyway. We'd somehow manage with the fines.

What a rotten situation, though.

[skai]

You have a Schengen visa, right? That could mean that traveling next door does not help, as Latvia, Estonia and Poland are also Schengen countries. I would apply for extension citing special reasons, I guess...

[AislinCarys]

I have no idea how this could work for you. But I would look at which other countries your husband could move to, because some countries (like Sweden, which is my home country, so that is where I have experience from) have laws that very much support keeping families together. In other words, in the case of Sweden, a partner and a child under 18 basically have the right to a partner visa (with unlimited extensions), as long as the other partner/parent have the right to stay. I know Danes who moved to Sweden for a bit to stay together, when Denmark tightened their immigration rules a few years back.

Is there any European country where your husband would be welcome where immigration laws may be more family friendly?

I'm sorry you are caught in this situation.

[talk de jour]

no, because disregard of the law is likely to result in your family never being together again once you are found out.

[onyxravnos]

suggestions you may have already thought of but here I go:

all of you come to the US and get your DH on a visitors visa or perhaps a fiance visa?

OR

although someone mentioned going to a country next to you may not help perhaps you could take a little family vacation to one of the other countries a bit father away and then come back again so you can get a new visa.

[Katica]

Oh, my, do I know what you are going through!! We`ve been in impossible situations countless times too.
My advice as a European is for the three of you to go visit a neighboring country for a little while. It will cost you some money and traveling with a small baby is no picnic but it is probably the best solution. DH and I have done it on numerous occasions. I think you should be able to go back to Lithuania and get an extra 3 months or so. I would check first with proper authorities if you can really return though.

I would under NO circumstances break the law. It isn`t worth it. Not anywhere but especially not in Europe..

[MCR]

I'd apply for an extension on mine and the baby's visa first. If thats not possible then I'd come back to the US and try to get things moving from this end. Maybe they can issue some sort of temp visa for him to be with you till his green card comes through.
I thought spouses of US citizens came to US on spouse visa before applying for a green card?
Or maybe thats going to UK I'm not sure.
But don't do anything illegal, you may find yourself and baby banned from entry for a long time, thats what happens to US visa overstays. It may be a similar punishment.

[studentmama]

No do not break the law. It's not worth it. If you do, it will follow you for the rest of your life and for your families security you need to be thinking about the longterm effects of this. Do you have a lawyer? Can you get an extension? If you do not have a lawyer, can you get one?

[LynnS6]

I'd see an immigration lawyer in Lithuania -- it could be as simple as you leaving Lithuania for a period of days and then re-entering on a tourist visa. It could be that you need to go another country and apply for a visa. Since you're in Europe, you don't necessarily need to come home to the US to do this, you could go to another European country (it might have to be a non-EU country - that's why you need to check with someone who knows).

you don't really want to screw up your ability to choose where you live.

[grniys]

I would not break the law.

I would go to an immigration lawyer. I would file for extensions. I would use every legal route available to try and keep my family together.

But I would not break the law.