Did you have the circ conversation before choosing your partner and deciding to have children? - Page 6

[groovynaturemama]

i voted no b/c we never discussed having children, let alone circ. it just so happened that we got pregnant 4 months after we started dating and then was it up for discussion (as was homebirth, cd, breastfeeding, etc.). it ended up that we were on the same page about all of it after some research even though dh is circ'ed, it took minimal articles, and less than the first 10 minutes of the penn and teller video to decide that he wanted to keep our son (if we had one) intact.

i have to say that if we had not been on the same page (ie: he wanted to circ), i'd still insist that we not circ, and not consent to it no matter how hard he pushed. in fact, it would be a deal breaker if i found myself fighting with him about cutting a part off of my perfect little baby.

[weliveintheforest]

we met as teens so i didn't even know it was an issue. he is intact though, so there was never a worry.

[treetop]

We never discussed it until this pregnancy (my second). I had never considered it an option until one of the more recent Mothering magazines was sent to me. YIKES! I showed it to my DH and we both agreed that, if we have a son, he would remain intact. If our son would like to be circumcised when he is older than we would support him 100%.

[Sailor]

I think both my partner and I had discussed EVERYTHING under the sun, even before we had sex, let alone committed out lives to one another and decided to try for a baby.

Our first few dates were more interviews, with both of us taking the other's inventory and trying to find the red flags. We spoke all the way from politics to personal goals to circumcision to parenting.

I think I fell in love with him then - when I knew he was as serious and rational at taking my inventory as I was his.

[beatnikbean]

I hate to admit this, but when I was pregnant with DS #1, I was the one who wanted to circ. DH is intact and although it didn't gross me out or anything (I'm not one of those!), I was concerned about DS being ashamed, teased, etc. Finally I realized it would be better to err on the side of staying intact. I said if DS ever wants it down the line, we would pay for it. Shortly after he was born, he was injured by his pediatrician multiple times who forcibly retracted his foreskin each appointment. I had NO idea it was wrong, but I knew DS was in pain. So then I started researching. I was appalled by what I discovered. I felt like an uneducated idiot. Thank goodness DH insisted on keeping him intact. Second DS is intact as well.

Years later DS #1 had to be circ'd for multiple (as in MANY) instinces of paraphimosis. It was horrible to experience and scary that he almost lost function of his goods. So we choose circ. The Urologist said the pediatrician who first injured him was at fault.

Blah blah blah. Anyway, I never even thought to discuss these things when dating.

[Night_Nurse]

Originally Posted by beatnikbean

The Urologist said the pediatrician who first injured him was at fault.

That is so sad. I hope you took the time to write the pediatrician who did this and tell him or her what they did.

[krankedyann]

It was on the list of questions I wanted to know the answers to before I'd agree to marry. I grew up with a very anti-circ father who was very vocal about it, so I had a clue, but not a full clue until I started researching it myself while pregnant the first time.

[jenP]

I didn't even know what circumcision WAS before I got pregnant! Oh, I was vaguely aware that some men had this thing called a foreskin and that Jewish people cut it off for religious reasons... but since my Jewish boyfriends looked EXACTLY like the non-Jewish ones I figured this foreskin thing must be really small and insignificant...
So glad I met some European and South American mamas who got me interested enough to really look into the matter! DH was on board as soon as I described the procedure to him. He had no idea what had been done to him.

Jen