For those having boys... - Page 3

[jammomma]

We don't know if it is a boy or girl yet, but my intuition tells me it's a boy. We will not be circumsizing. Elective cosmetic surgery on my child's genitalia is just not something I want to be a part of.


We don't plan on telling any family or friends about our decision, I don't think my childs genitals are something that needs to be discussed. However I did tell my mother, and she told me an interesting fact about my own father, who died when I was a toddler, that he was not circumsized! So I found that interesting.

[boscopup]

My husband was initially very pro-circ as well. I just e-mailed him links to websites that stated my position. We actually never talked about it again. Then in the hospital (29 weeks with PPROM), as the nurse was going through the questions, she asked if we would circ if it was a boy, and I said "*I* don't want to...", then looked at DH. He then said "No." :

I don't know if he ever read any of the links I sent him. He may have just given in because he wasn't worried about circ vs. non-circ at that point... he was worried that we were having our baby 2.5 months early and the risks of that. But whatever it was, he hasn't had a problem with it since. It's not even a discussion anymore. We just don't circ our boys.

I'm pretty sure DH was thinking just of the "clean" argument, and he really just didn't know anything about being intact. This is why I find the "let DH decide since he has a penis and I don't" argument to be silly. My DH only knows what it's liked to be circ'd. He does NOT know what it's like to be intact. So as far as that goes, he knows just as much as I do about what it's like to be an intact male.

DH was also initally anti-homebirth (just said "Absolutely not." and dropped the subject the first time I brought it up), but once he was given some facts, he came around, and now is a huge homebirth advocate. I think some men just shut down at first when presented with an idea that's so radically different from what they know and expect. Best to give them some time, then approach it again with some information for them to read.

[wildnewmamma]

Originally Posted by boscopup

...
I'm pretty sure DH was thinking just of the "clean" argument, and he really just didn't know anything about being intact. This is why I find the "let DH decide since he has a penis and I don't" argument to be silly. My DH only knows what it's liked to be circ'd. He does NOT know what it's like to be intact. So as far as that goes, he knows just as much as I do about what it's like to be an intact male.

DH was also initally anti-homebirth (just said "Absolutely not." and dropped the subject the first time I brought it up), but once he was given some facts, he came around, and now is a huge homebirth advocate. I think some men just shut down at first when presented with an idea that's so radically different from what they know and expect. Best to give them some time, then approach it again with some information for them to read.

I know it's not the first time it has been brought up, but I think that it is so interesting those that have said they originally thought they would let the man decide (I was in that boat)...but your exactly right, he only knows the way it was for him.

By the way, I find it so funny the terminology of circ'd and intact (I'm big into the dog world...do I don't think I will tell my hubby he's not intact, and if we have a son that he is, LOL!!!)

I also think he was kind of hesitant on the homebirth idea at first too...I know he will come around, It's just funny how they shut down when something is presented to them that is different from what they know. I will give him the info, and if he still thinks the way he does then at least I feel like he is making an informed decision.

[boscopup]

The "intact" terminology got me when I first started seeing it too. Very different meaning in the dog world!

What brought my DH around on homebirth was to talk to my midwife, after seeing safety data on homebirth vs. hospital. He was worried about safety. He was afraid he would lose his wife and first child. That's an understandable fear when you don't know anything about homebirth and how it IS safe, how midwives ARE trained to handle emergencies, etc. Once he was informed, he was willing to agree with it, even though he still would prefer the hospital. Then after we ended up in the hospital (preterm) and he had to fight just to get them to not stick their hands up in me when my water was broken and would be for several days, if not weeks... he realized that the doctors weren't using scientific evidence, and the midwives were! That's what really got him gungho on homebirth.

[PoppyMama]

My older son is not circed and this one will not be either. They are both free to choose the surgery when they are old enough. Both of the fathers are circed.