Talk to me about LLL Leadership...

[rparker]

(I apologize because this got kind of long...)

For those who either are LLL Leaders or who have experience with the application process: Was it worth it? Would you do it again?

Background: I'm a SAHM to a bf 15 month old who I hope will CLW. Our family recently moved from CA to a very rural town in Michigan. I was a LLL member in CA, but the nearest LLL meetings are 2+ hours in either direction. I've exchanged a few emails with the CLA for LLL in my "area" and pretty much ascertained that in order to become a LLL Leader I'd have to work with the nearest active group in MI.

Initially I was very excited at the prospect of completing the steps to leader accreditation and forming a local LLL group, but now I'm beginning to have second thoughts and I'm unsure whether I should proceed to the next step (contacting the leader for the nearest MI group) or not.

Is a LLL group viable in such a small town? Our town has an aging population (there were 170 births at the hospital last year), but it is the largest town for quite some distance. (County population is around 16,000.)

How much work would be involved in being the only LLL Leader in an area? This is probably irrational, but I'm worried that it will be a huge time commitment that will take away from my time with my family and/or pursuing any other non-mommy related interests.

Is it as scary/difficult as it seems to answer mothers' questions over the phone and/or to train to do this with experienced LLL Leaders? I'm pretty outgoing in person and in print, but for some reason the thought of talking on the phone to strangers makes me pretty anxious.

Concerning the Preview questions in general and being quizzed by LLL Leaders... is this as intimidating of a process as it seems?

I'm familiar with the structure of meetings. I've read everything possible on the LLLI website as well as The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding. I agree with their philosophy (although I'm personally inclined to be more supportive of WOHMs than the official position). I feel very strongly that bf-ing not only is best, but that it should be the norm. If anything, I'm more extreme in my lactivist (and AP) views than LLL, although I'm pretty confident that I can temper them enough with the "party line" to avoid presenting non-LLL views or scaring new moms.

I don't know if it's normal to be initially enthusiastic and then to have so many doubts. I want to be really sure before I contact the nearest LLL group because I don't want to waste their leaders' time. Does having a LLL presence in a community make that much of a difference? Do you regret becoming a LLL leader? I guess my biggest fear is that it will take over both my life and my identity... I know that that's probably irrational, but this seems like a big commitment to make lightly.

If you've read this far, thank you, and thanks in advance for any replies.

[FelixMom]

Hi Megan,

I can't offer much concrete advice, except to take some time to pause and reflect on whether you have upcoming commitments that would interfere with the time and effort you'll require to become a leader. Your recent move requires some of your time and energy to organize and settle your family, but I see that you've already seen the lay of the land as far as demographics is concerned, which is more than what I did while considering becoming a LLL leader.

I myself have only just recently been accepted as a Leader applicant, and this after my 3rd child was born. Guess I'm not as swift as some mamas out there who become LLL leaders after BFing only one kid! I hope to plough through as much reading as possible before the snow melts and going outside to the park becomes a reality again. And I received a Medela grant, so I do plan to finish accreditation within one year, as stipulated by the grant.

Aside from knowing your strengths and weaknesses for being good about organizational skills and time management, I guess you'll have to do an inventory of what you bring to the table in terms of becoming a LLL leader and what you want to get out of the experience.

Like you, I want to eventually form a group that's close to home, only in my case it's not a two hour drive from town, just too many subway stops and walking with toddler and baby!

I like that quote from Ghandi: Be the change you want to see in this world! What motivates me is that I want for as many families to know the benefits and peace of mind that BFing brings. And hopefully by the time my daughter becomes of child-bearing age, nurse-ins and public outcry over moms and expressed BM being tossed from airplanes with be a thing of the past, because people will know BFing is NORMAL.

Good luck and lemmie know if you do decide to go ahead with the applicant process. We can keep each other motivated with the self-directed study...

[rparker]

Thank you for the encouragement, FelixMom! I went ahead and contacted the nearest LLL leader and am now in the process of trying to figure out the ridiculous logistics of accreditation when an applicant lives in the middle of nowhere. (Condensed version: The two nearest groups are equally far, 100+ miles. One has evening meetings that will be difficult for us to attend. The other, however, is in the western US division while my state is in the eastern US division... which apparently complicates things!)

I don't know if LLL will even accept me for accreditation after having nursed (still nursing) only one baby, but I'd rather begin the process now if I can rather than later when I'm (hopefully) tandem nursing two. Especially since my life is relatively uncomplicated at the moment.

I like that quote from Ghandi: Be the change you want to see in this world! What motivates me is that I want for as many families to know the benefits and peace of mind that BFing brings. And hopefully by the time my daughter becomes of child-bearing age, nurse-ins and public outcry over moms and expressed BM being tossed from airplanes with be a thing of the past, because people will know BFing is NORMAL.

Thank you so much for writing that. It summarizes exactly why I became interested in LLL leadership in the first place. Virtually all of the babies that I have observed in public places since moving here have been bottle fed and I'd like to think that with more local support mothers might begin to make different choices. I'll keep you updated on whether or not I get officially accepted as a leader applicant.

[BarefootScientist]

:

I am interested in this too. The place where I live right now has ample leaders (I think) but if we move back "home" and I wanted to start a chapter, would it be easier to go through the training before moving? Or do you have to do it in the same district or something?

[Ivan's Mom]

I was encouraged to go for the Leader position by my Leader. I started and then stopped due to my personality. I have many strong mothering opinions and it is very difficult for me to reach out to others that could be doing things the opposite of me (ex. circ, CIO) LLL is only about breastfeeding and I have a huge difficult time keeping my opinions to myself. I did not want to "hurt" the image of LLL by maybe slipping and being rude or speaking about my opinions.

It is a lot of work and lots of reading. Such a great position to hold. Think of all the babies that could benefit from your help

[FelixMom]

LLL is only about breastfeeding

Hmm... from what I could recall, it's more of a global approach to parenting with a strong AP flavour or influence.

Here where I live, the local health authority has its own peer BF groups run by nurses, where the focus is truly exclusively on BFing, and no one will really care if your kid CIO or if you don't want to do child-led weaning, co-sleeping, tandem nursing, gentle discipline etc

One of the skills I want to hone is the ability to give support and advice without judgement, since our LLL groups here are touted as providing an environment where we encourage people to BF for as long as possible without feeling guilty. I can see where passionate and vocal lactivists might have difficulty in this arena.

BarefootScientist, depending on if your move is imminent or not, I'd say go for it now. That way, you have the accreditation already in hand when you move, and you'll have a ready-made network of support with families holding similar values who might even have kids close in age to yours!

I've read about a LLL leader from South America who immigrated to small town Quebec and started a spanish-speaking group in her home! There's also been several members of our group who went on to become LLL leaders but then left because of spouse job transfers and are now contributing to those groups. Heck, even the LAD person herself has overseen leadership applicants in France and the UK when her husband was transfered there for work.

Good luck!:

[annethcz]

Originally Posted by FelixMom

Hmm... from what I could recall, it's more of a global approach to parenting with a strong AP flavour or influence.

No. LLL is a one-issue organization. While they do encourage AP parenting in that it is a natural offshoot of breastfeeding, the purpose of LLL is to support breastfeeding mothers. Period. All breastfeeding mothers are welcome.

In my former group, we had issues with members wanting to use meeting time to discuss cloth diapering, babywearing, and birthing choices. LLL takes no official stance on these and many other AP issues. They aren't really good meeting topics, except to mention how they might relate to breastfeeding. While it's true that LLL doesn't endorse CIO or scheduled feedings for infants, as a leader you also need to know that it's not your job to tell a mother how to parent, but rather provide her with information so she can make the choice on her own.

[tiffani]

I think the biggest thing I got out of completing LLL leadership and being a leader for a year (until we moved out of country) was the ability to be less judgmental. I know all LLL groups are different, but it always surprises me when people refer to LLL as being judgmental at all, because it is a basic tenet of LLL leadership training that you help women with breastfeeding difficulties, parenting *as it relates to breastfeeding* and steer clear of ANY other topic. co-sleeping and bf'ing go hand in hand, as do the choice to return to work or not, and how to handle the bf'ing relationship if you do return to work, and there is a gentle discipline aspect as well, but any other subject is not to be addressed, and as a leader, you learn how to meet mamas where they are, and help them get to where they want to be, not to pressure them into what YOU think they should be. It helped me to just be more accepting of the different places human beings are in their journeys on this earth, and to extend a hand regardless of where our ideals might conflict.

It seems like a lot of work to become a leader, but it goes pretty quickly actually. I'm sure you can do most of it by phone or email. Once you're a leader, you can just lead meetings if you want, or you can just do the phone if you want -- remember it's a volunteer organization, and you do whatever you can fit into your life.

good luck!

[elizaMM]

Originally Posted by FelixMom

Hmm... from what I could recall, it's more of a global approach to parenting with a strong AP flavour or influence.

I've heard leaders go out of their way to say that a meeting focused on, for example, babywearing, is officially NOT an official LLL meeting/topic.

As a resident of a rural town in Wisconsin, I have this to say: We have a LLL group for two counties and attendance is almost dismal. But part of that is the distance people would have to go to get to the meeting. I, in fact, don't go b/c of the drive. Even though I'd really love to. Its 50 minutes. I'm an environmentalist in addition to being a lactivist.

But I wonder if one spent a lot of time volunteering at the hospital and checking in with new moms (do they allow that?) then maybe you could get the b-f'ing mom rate up which would boost attendance? If there is no existing presence then maybe there is no pre-conceived notion that LLL is "too extreme" so people will be more interested? And wouldn't you be able to bring your child with you to a lot of LLL activities?

I'm totally hypothesizing here, fantasizing that I might be helpful. Good luck!!

[rparker]

Originally Posted by elizaMM

As a resident of a rural town in Wisconsin, I have this to say: We have a LLL group for two counties and attendance is almost dismal. But part of that is the distance people would have to go to get to the meeting. I, in fact, don't go b/c of the drive. Even though I'd really love to. Its 50 minutes. I'm an environmentalist in addition to being a lactivist.

But I wonder if one spent a lot of time volunteering at the hospital and checking in with new moms (do they allow that?) then maybe you could get the b-f'ing mom rate up which would boost attendance? If there is no existing presence then maybe there is no pre-conceived notion that LLL is "too extreme" so people will be more interested? And wouldn't you be able to bring your child with you to a lot of LLL activities?

I'm totally hypothesizing here, fantasizing that I might be helpful. Good luck!!

Where in Wisconsin are you? The part of Michigan I live in is right on the WI border, but all of the nearby LLL groups in WI are inactive. My closest group is actually in MN not MI.

The hospital volunteering is a good idea. My husband is a physician at our local hospital and I've had a lot of contact with hospital employees/administrators/board members and they have all been very pro bf-ing... so I'm anticipating/hoping that they will actively support a LLL presence if I can get accredited, especially since they've been trying to do a lot of community outreach. My daughter sees a very bf-ing positive doctor here and our town actually has a midwife who does home births... so the interest may be out there

[elizaMM]

I'm in the Jefferson/Dodge county LLL area, right between Madison & Milwaukee (but nowhere near culturally). The rest of WI, including your area, does sound more liberal (why do I think that means more bf'ing??). Sounds like it could be good! If you're up for it. I really like what the one gal said about learning how to be non-judgemental. That's a very valuable skill that I know I could really use...

[annethcz]

I will preface this by saying that I'm not a LLLL anymore. I was involved in my local group when my kids were babies, including being a leader for several years. I retired 2 years ago. My experience was much different because I was involved with a large group; we had several monthly meetings (AM and PM plus toddler and enrichment meetings), and usually had 6-10 active leaders at a time.

Originally Posted by rparker

(For those who either are LLL Leaders or who have experience with the application process: Was it worth it? Would you do it again?

For me, it was worth it. I really enjoyed my work with LLL. As I stated above, I was involved in a large group and the work was evenly spread out. I chose NOT to get very involved in area work, because I wasn't really interested in the politics. And while I was involved, there was a LOT of political stuff going on in my area.

I found it very rewarding to work with moms one-on-one, especially via the phone. I'm not normally a big phone person, but I really enjoyed being able to help moms so much.

Initially I was very excited at the prospect of completing the steps to leader accreditation and forming a local LLL group, but now I'm beginning to have second thoughts and I'm unsure whether I should proceed to the next step (contacting the leader for the nearest MI group) or not.

I don't think it would hurt to get to know the people in the closest group. Have you called or emailed the group leaders? Let them know who you are, and what you're thinking about doing. Chances are, they will welcome you with open arms. Talking with them will not commit you to pursuing leadership.

Is a LLL group viable in such a small town? Our town has an aging population (there were 170 births at the hospital last year), but it is the largest town for quite some distance. (County population is around 16,000.)

Maybe. People might be willing to drive a long way for meetings. OTOH, perhaps not. I do know of a few rural groups in my area that started out well-attended, but then dwindled. The leader decided to stay on, but stopped holding meetings and just offered phone support. That was still a helpful service to the area.

How much work would be involved in being the only LLL Leader in an area? This is probably irrational, but I'm worried that it will be a huge time commitment that will take away from my time with my family and/or pursuing any other non-mommy related interests.

I think that time investment can vary, based on what you want to do. It can be time consuming to START a group. When you're first starting, you'll need to do advertising, find a place to hold meetings, open a checking account, perhaps put together a library. Once you get the group going, you'll need to lead meetings, fill out a monthly report (and a yearly financial report), and of course reply to moms who contact you. I found the time I spent with moms to be really variable. Sometimes I'd get 3 calls in a week, other times I wouldn't get a call for 2 months.

Is it as scary/difficult as it seems to answer mothers' questions over the phone and/or to train to do this with experienced LLL Leaders? I'm pretty outgoing in person and in print, but for some reason the thought of talking on the phone to strangers makes me pretty anxious.

I'm not generally a phone person, but as I said above, I found phone work to be the most rewarding of any of the things I did as a LLL. Sometimes it was inconvenient. But talking to a mom who was crying and out of ideas when we started the conversation, but who was calm and had a plan of action by the end of the conversation made me feel SOOO good. I loved being able to feel like I was making the world a better place. I know that sounds hokey, but there it is.

Concerning the Preview questions in general and being quizzed by LLL Leaders... is this as intimidating of a process as it seems?

The preview was daunting to start. When I did it, we had 3 leader applicants in our group and we worked together to complete the preview. That helped tremendously. But I didn't think it was that difficult.

As for being 'quizzed' by the leaders, it was a bit intimidating. I did quite a bit of it actually on the phone with another leader, to lend it some authenticity. To be honest, I felt flustered and had a hard time coming up with answers, but it got easier as I kept going. And the leaders weren't trying to trip me up, their job was to help me learn the best way to answer questions. They were working WITH me, not against me.

The other thing I will mention is that I found the writing at the beginning (writing on the belief statements) to be really easy. I sat down and wrote down answers to all of the questions in one sitting. So for me, it was more of an essay than it was a conversation with the CLA. But this was many years ago, and I have friends who have gone through the accreditation process more recently and had some problems communicating with their CLAs. So it's definitely something to keep on top of, make sure you keep the lines of communication open and don't be afraid to e-mail a few times if you don't hear back after a week.

I'm familiar with the structure of meetings. I've read everything possible on the LLLI website as well as The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding. I agree with their philosophy (although I'm personally inclined to be more supportive of WOHMs than the official position). I feel very strongly that bf-ing not only is best, but that it should be the norm. If anything, I'm more extreme in my lactivist (and AP) views than LLL, although I'm pretty confident that I can temper them enough with the "party line" to avoid presenting non-LLL views or scaring new moms.

This was a somewhat small concern of mine when I became a leader. But I found it pretty easy to be clear about only expressing LLL views when I was wearing my leader hat. You don't have to give up your views, just be selective about when you express them

[quote}I don't know if it's normal to be initially enthusiastic and then to have so many doubts.[/quote]
From what I've seen, it's very normal. I felt had some doubts, and everyone that I knew or that I helped also had a few doubts. The application is really good preparation for leadership. Going through the process made some people feel more confident about becoming a leader, but it helped other people to see that leadership just wasn't for them. I never felt that anyone who decided not to continue their application was 'wasting my time.' I just saw that leadership wasn't the best fit for them at that time. No biggie.

I want to be really sure before I contact the nearest LLL group because I don't want to waste their leaders' time. Does having a LLL presence in a community make that much of a difference? Do you regret becoming a LLL leader? I guess my biggest fear is that it will take over both my life and my identity... I know that that's probably irrational, but this seems like a big commitment to make lightly.

I think that it would be really good for you to talk to the leaders in your state and see what they have to say. You won't be wasting their time, and they can probably give you some insight into what things are like in the area.

As for LLL taking over your life... LLL involvement doesn't have to last forever. Yes, you'll sign a statment commiting to 2 or 3 years. But if you don't feel it's working out for your family, it's okay to retire.

[rparker]

Thanks, Ann, your replies were really helpful! I've been exchanging email correspondence with the nearest LLLLs in MI, but it will be difficult for me to attend their meetings since they're at night and fairly far away. I hope to attend my first MN LLL meeting tomorrow morning.

[rparker]

Originally Posted by elizaMM

I'm in the Jefferson/Dodge county LLL area, right between Madison & Milwaukee (but nowhere near culturally). The rest of WI, including your area, does sound more liberal (why do I think that means more bf'ing??).

This part of MICHIGAN is weirdly liberal (at least compared to the rest of the state), but it was settled by socialist Finnish miners. I'm not so sure about some of the nearby towns in WI though... when I was working on the Obama campaign one of the other volunteers was from WI and informed me that one of the nearby small towns on that side of the border had an extremely active/publicly visible KKK cell.

[rparker]

Originally Posted by tiffani

I think the biggest thing I got out of completing LLL leadership and being a leader for a year (until we moved out of country) was the ability to be less judgmental. I know all LLL groups are different, but it always surprises me when people refer to LLL as being judgmental at all, because it is a basic tenet of LLL leadership training that you help women with breastfeeding difficulties, parenting *as it relates to breastfeeding* and steer clear of ANY other topic. co-sleeping and bf'ing go hand in hand, as do the choice to return to work or not, and how to handle the bf'ing relationship if you do return to work, and there is a gentle discipline aspect as well, but any other subject is not to be addressed, and as a leader, you learn how to meet mamas where they are, and help them get to where they want to be, not to pressure them into what YOU think they should be. It helped me to just be more accepting of the different places human beings are in their journeys on this earth, and to extend a hand regardless of where our ideals might conflict.

Thanks, Tiffani, your insight is really inspirational and I've noticed the same attitude in several of the LLL publications that I've been reading. I hope/know that I'm capable of interacting/behaving in a nonjudgmental manner, yet I also know that I frequently judge other people's choices (especially re: parenting) in my own mind and it would be great if LLLL training could help me learn to stop doing that.

[MaryJaneLouise]

LLL is about mom-to-mom suport of parenting THROUGH breastfeeding. In that, it is a one-issue organization, and really, really tries to be non-political. Of course, some non-bfing topics will naturally come up.

[MovingMomma]

LLL philosophy does extend a bit beyond just breastfeeding. You can familiarize yourself with the 10 philosophy statements here.

[FelixMom]

Thanks for posting the philosophy statement, MovingMama.

Perhaps I was vague when I made my earlier statement refuting that LLL focused solely on BFing. It's true that series meetings only cover the 4 themes set out in the Leaders' Handbooks. But it is also true that our lending library will only carry books approved by LLL, and those books do cover subjects such as BWing, child-led weaning, co-sleeping, gentle discipline etc... It's not restricted to human lactation, but includes areas that overlap and support BFing.