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I hate well child visits

post #1 of 57
Thread Starter 
We started doing well child visits (even though I've always thought they are kind of pointless....) as a just in case thing. I've heard horror stories of nonvaxing parents getting child services called on them, so I wanted all my bases covered to show that we are proactive about their medical care just in case, 'cause you never know. And they're free, so what could it hurt, I thought.

Gosh it is such a PITA every year! I swear the doctors wear my husband down a little bit more every time. We allllmost vax'd this last visit, I can't believe how close we were! For some reason being in that little room with a doctor lecturing you always crumbles my resolve. We have Kaiser, so there's no hope of finding a natural minded Ped. At least they can't refuse to treat us for not vax'ing.

Adding to the issue is that my husband works in a prison and is getting all paranoid about the exposure rate. I mean yeah, he is likely to me exposed to more things, but most of the diseases we would vax for are very, very rare if not almost non existent in the US. And complications are even more rare.

Every time I go to the doctor I post a rant here, lol. Gotta love Kaiser!
post #2 of 57
Quote:
Originally Posted by Talula Fairie View Post
We started doing well child visits (even though I've always thought they are kind of pointless....) as a just in case thing. I've heard horror stories of nonvaxing parents getting child services called on them, so I wanted all my bases covered to show that we are proactive about their medical care just in case, 'cause you never know. And they're free, so what could it hurt, I thought.

Gosh it is such a PITA every year! I swear the doctors wear my husband down a little bit more every time. We allllmost vax'd this last visit, I can't believe how close we were! For some reason being in that little room with a doctor lecturing you always crumbles my resolve. We have Kaiser, so there's no hope of finding a natural minded Ped. At least they can't refuse to treat us for not vax'ing.

Adding to the issue is that my husband works in a prison and is getting all paranoid about the exposure rate. I mean yeah, he is likely to me exposed to more things, but most of the diseases we would vax for are very, very rare if not almost non existent in the US. And complications are even more rare.

Every time I go to the doctor I post a rant here, lol. Gotta love Kaiser!
I agree WBV suck! If your husband is so worried about exposure at his job, tell him to vaccinate himself. If he is worried about getting something and then in turn exposing your child, than it makes more sense to prevent (if you even believe in the efficacy of the vaccines) the disease in your husband in the first place!!Tell him if he is so worried he can take one for the team
post #3 of 57
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Marnica View Post
I agree WBV suck! If your husband is so worried about exposure at his job, tell him to vaccinate himself. If he is worried about getting something and then in turn exposing your child, than it makes more sense to prevent (if you even believe in the efficacy of the vaccines) the disease in your husband in the first place!!Tell him if he is so worried he can take one for the team
LOL, take one for the team!

He *is* fully vaccinated. You have to be when you're a peace officer (or if you can exempt, it didn't occur to him to try). And he had his boosters years ago at age 18 when he entered the military.

I'm vax'd too. Had boosters at 18 when I didn't know better and was working for a preschool.

I didn't even think of that angle! Duh!
post #4 of 57
I have Kaiser too and it used to be a much bigger annoyance than it is now. I just say that I will be using a religious exemption for my kids. They don't totally drop it but it's a little better than it used to be a few years ago. My dh doesnt come to well visits w/ me b/c he has a harder time putting up w/ the condescending remarks. He just gets angry and getting mad just makes the docs hate you more so I try to keep him away- for everyone's benefit :-) I just tell myself over and over again- They are trained to do a certain thing and be a certain way. I am not going to change their mind and they need to realize that they are not going to change mind. I state everything very matter of fact and we move on to other topics. I do prefer some peds in Kaiser more than others though. Maybe you could ask to switch to a different one w/in the practice. It might not change anything- but some are more laid back than others. Most of the time younger docs seem to be worse to me than older ones- Maybe it's cuz they're fresh out of med school?

I'm sorry for your crappy visit and even though it sux- just keep holding your ground. And I'll look forward to reading your rant next year! :-)
post #5 of 57
I'm glad you came here to get some support. It is easy to get worn down. Have you thought about going w/o your DH next year? Then you can say, "I'll keep that in mind when I discuss it with my husband. I can't make this decision without first talking to my husband."
post #6 of 57
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by FernG View Post
I'm glad you came here to get some support. It is easy to get worn down. Have you thought about going w/o your DH next year? Then you can say, "I'll keep that in mind when I discuss it with my husband. I can't make this decision without first talking to my husband."
That's not a bad idea
post #7 of 57
I'm sorry about your exp. FWIW, I feel the same way that you do, WBV are just such a PITA. What I have done lately though (my kids are now preschool aged) is that I just send my DH with the child that has the appt to the checkup (I just do one a yr now, so that it is on the record in case we are ever accused of anything by child services, we are non-vax too and still lean towards the idea of homeschooling although we are going to try tradiitional school first). Then when the doctor brings up the vax stuff, my DH just says, "my wife told me we're not going to get any vaxes this time." The doc can talk until he's blue in the face, but my DH basically gives the impression that I am the one who makes the decision about vax, so it's not much use for him to try to convince my DH. I am lucky that my DH is on board with me too. Both of us are HCP, so maybe that is one reason we don't feel as intimidated when they do, "the talk," b/c they can't act like I am some nobody that doesn't know anything about medicine.

FWIW, our ped isn't TOO bad. He's not overly pushy, BUT he still feels the need to ask us each time and try to convince us of the vax that he feels are most important. I think mostly he does it so he can chart that he discussed it with us and that we refused, to cover his butt. Can't say that I don't blame him with the way that things are now in healthcare. I am pg again with baby #3. I am not sure how many WBV we will go to this time, since I just refuse all vax. I've had the staff give me issues before, "that is such a long time btwn appts, your baby's shots will be late" and I just shoot back, "well, I guess that doesn't matter to me, b/c my kids don't get vax anyway." I'm usually met by silence, b/c really there is NO point in going to every single WBV if you aren't doing the vax per their schedule. By now, you would think that the doc would realize that I have my mind set and not even bother trying. It's not like they haven't tried to talk me into it before. I will have to go with the baby for WBV since I BF my kids and it's always such a longggg wait at the doc's office, the baby will need to nurse some time during the wait. I'm dreading it.
post #8 of 57
Thread Starter 
Yeah, we also only do one WBV a year.

It always makes me LOL every time because the doctor is like "well your kids are growing well meeting all their milestones and still in the 50th percentile for weight and height"

I'm like yeah, I could have told you that :P
post #9 of 57
Thanks for reminding me why I don't do them

-Angela
post #10 of 57
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by alegna View Post
Thanks for reminding me why I don't do them

-Angela
I am so tempted to just be like "F it!" and stop them. They really are obnoxious.

I mean, I don't ever hold off if I think my kids need to see the doctor (which is very rare, I think each of them have seen a doctor from an illness like twice in their entire lives), but I think well child visits are so pointless overall.
post #11 of 57
Quote:
Originally Posted by Talula Fairie View Post
I am so tempted to just be like "F it!" and stop them. They really are obnoxious.

I mean, I don't ever hold off if I think my kids need to see the doctor (which is very rare, I think each of them have seen a doctor from an illness like twice in their entire lives), but I think well child visits are so pointless overall.
I don't have time or money to do something like WBV as just a CYA thing. I wouldn't get anything out of it except headaches.

A LOT of people know my kids and would vouch for me as a parent if it came down to it. I'm not worried about CPS at all. I'd be more worried a health-care provider would report us than anything else.

-Angela
post #12 of 57
Thread Starter 
I don't have a ton of friends and we just moved to a new area so I don't really have a lot of people who'd vouch for me if it came to that.

I kind of doubt Kaiser would or could report us just for not vax'ing...and even if they did, it's perfectly legal in CA not to vax and my kids are not abused, are super healthy, normal weight and development.
post #13 of 57
I would just keep repeating - thanks for letting me know your side, we still aren't vaccinating. after every single comment they make. or "yes, I've heard that before. I've fully researched BOTH sides to the issue, which is why we are not vaccinating" just pick a statement and keep repeating it. If they ask you a what if question or other type of question be prepared with another response you can use for question type answers. Or something like "yeah, there sure are a lot of what ifs out there. I fear the what ifs of vaccinating are a lot more common and scarier then the what ifs of not vaccinating though. so we aren't vaccinating."

it is tough though. total PITA. my dr's thankfully never say a word even though they are pro vax they are really respectful of my choice.
post #14 of 57
I have Kaiser and the only Ped I saw was annoying. I ended up choosing an FP instead as DS's primary care physician. The FP has been great! They ask we if are vaxing today and I say NO. They say absolutely NOTHING.

I'd recommend switching to an FP with Kaiser.
post #15 of 57
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by k9sarchik View Post
I have Kaiser and the only Ped I saw was annoying. I ended up choosing an FP instead as DS's primary care physician. The FP has been great! They ask we if are vaxing today and I say NO. They say absolutely NOTHING.

I'd recommend switching to an FP with Kaiser.
How did you manage that? Here you either can see a Ped or a doctor that does adults. They have separate buildings for each and everything.
post #16 of 57
When I received the information about choosing a primary care physician for DS, they listed 4 FP's along with the Ped's. You should be able to go on to Kaiser's website and check the Dr's that are listed as FP's in your area. An FP can take any patient of any age.
post #17 of 57
Thread Starter 
Maybe it depends on your area. All I have ever seen for my kids are Peds.
post #18 of 57
I once was literally chased around the exam room by a Kaiser Dr with a vax booster shot that didn't want to take my no, and I was over 18. :
post #19 of 57
I don't know where you are in Sacramento but I found this listing of Dr's in South Sacramento. https://members.kaiserpermanente.org...ialtysearch.do

Click continue after you hit the link.
post #20 of 57
This is why we don't do them. I figure for what they really do as a momma I can figure out if my child is well. I can use a scale, tell if they can hear me, see me etc. The internet is a tremendous resource for developmental milestones etc.

My son is 8 and been to the doctor once in his life. My daughter is 5 and never been.

i just don't see the point and to be honest, I don't need the harrassment.
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