How can I slow the CLW down?

[megababymomma]

Hi Ladies,

Brand new here, just introduced myself in the sticky up above...

My 19 month old seemed like he would nurse forever until a few months ago when he dropped all daytime & before bed nursing (he would just want to play. suck suck lick pinch, etc. so I stopped offering and he never asked again) so the only time we nursed was the occasional nighttime feeding and the consistently reliable early morning/wake up nurse.

I was certain that was weaning then and was surprised how long we've gone with just that one nursing a day most days.

Well... now for the last 3-4 days he's not been interested and has fussed and tantrumed at me even offering the breast. To top it off he's not feeling well (teething? and a rattly cough and generally pissy disposition) and it just irks me that he's not getting the immune system boost from my milk that he could be!

Anyone have any ideas about how to encourage him to continue nursing? or do I just need to let it go?

Thanks in advance.

[leighann79]

I don't have any ideas, but didn't want to read and not give you a big (((HUG)))

Hopefully one of the other great ladies on here can suggest something.

[megababymomma]

Thanks he nursed for half a second this morning so maybe it isn't over after all... but no matter what true CLW is just about accepting where they are right? sigh...

thanks again

[milkybean]

Well, I could be totally wrong for other kids, but with my guy, if he'd done that at 19 months I wouldn't have considered it weaning. I mean, the kid did a nursing strike when b'milk was the ONLY thing he was ingesting. We delayed solids so there was nothing else being given, and still he had a classic nursing strike.

I would have offered and giggled, and been silly and just have waited until he came back, like I did with the nursing strike.

I'm not doing those things with him now that he's 4.5...it's been 15 full days since he asked (though I actually did offer one day when he had a horrible headache and I couldn't figure out what else to do, but he refused absolutely) and yet I'm not "calling it" yet...he's gone this long before in the last 6 months...

Anyway, so what I'm saying is that you know your kid, and with my own kid that wouldn't have been considered weaning, so I would have pushed the issue a bit...can't force a kid to nurse, but with mine sometimes I had to remind him of it!

[PatioGardener]

I'd say that sounds like a nursing strike - probably brought on by not feeling well. Kellymom has some good nursing strike info. keeping your supply up while he's striking so it's there for him when he comes back would help too - can you express and give it to him in an open cup if he won't nurse?

[PJJ]

I agree

Originally Posted by PatioGardener

I'd say that sounds like a nursing strike - probably brought on by not feeling well. Kellymom has some good nursing strike info. keeping your supply up while he's striking so it's there for him when he comes back would help too - can you express and give it to him in an open cup if he won't nurse?

Yes, I think it is a strike and not a wean that has been precipitated by the not feeling well.

I personally think this is not CLW and it may have started earlier with the teething a while back.

Hope you are able to keep up your supply mama:

[mommysusie]

I'm confused. Isn't Child Lead Weaning suppose to mean exactly what it says? As in, when a child is ready, you let them go instead of pushing them back on the breast even if they don't want it?

[readytobedone]

Originally Posted by mommysusie

I'm confused. Isn't Child Lead Weaning suppose to mean exactly what it says? As in, when a child is ready, you let them go instead of pushing them back on the breast even if they don't want it?

well, there are lots of situations where you have to try to judge your child's needs when they can't quite do it yet, right?

when a baby/toddler strikes, they aren't telling you they are truly done nursing; they're associating nursing with something unpleasant (not feeling well, being reprimanded for biting, etc.), and it's your job to help break the association.

i think before 2 it is generally best to treat a refusal to nurse as a strike, as most kids under 2 don't self-wean, though they may strike. doesn't mean there aren't exceptions to that. if the OP's child is an exception, she will be able to see that, i think.

[SunKessed]

I think that as a parent you need to RESPECT your child's wishes.

If your son is done - give him a big hug, and know that you have done your job in filling up that cup. You met his nursing needs.

Some kids have smaller needs than other kids. My DD is 27 months. Since ~ 18 months she has mainly nursed between 4am and 6am. I can't remember the last time she nursed during the day. That 1 nursing session is all she needs.

CLW is an amazing thing. But it depends on both people.

[SunKessed]

Originally Posted by mommysusie

I'm confused. Isn't Child Lead Weaning suppose to mean exactly what it says? As in, when a child is ready, you let them go instead of pushing them back on the breast even if they don't want it?

ITA. I think that one of the biggest gifts we can give out children is to respect their assertions of independence.

[PatioGardener]

I find it useful to compare nursing to eating. If a 18 month old decided not to eat at all because they were feeling unwell, we'd do our best to try to provide something (anything!) that baby would feel like eating, and probably offer it whenever we thought there was a chance of it being accepted, while trying not to increase the stress associated with food.

Until at least 2 years old, when the immune system is more developed, milk is really important for baby's health and development. Coaxing them through a rough patch of nursing is looking out for them, just as we would do with food, or not allowing them to run into the street, etc.

[SunKessed]

I would say that at the age of 1 most of a child's nutrition is coming from milk (which is why many people switch to cow's milk at that point).

But - I've know many children who near their 2nd birthday have switched to mostly food with NO other milks being added.

[TiredX2]

First, to the OP: great job making it this far!

If you are comfortable with DS weaning at this point, there is nothing wrong with that. You have given him months of nursing and that is wonderful.

That said, I would not consider this to be CLW. If CLW weaning is your goal, there are some things you can do.

Don't offer, don't refuse is a weaning technique (especially when talking about a child under 2). Kids that age are notoriously distractable. They cannot understand the long term repercussions of not nursing for a while--- it might not be there when they are ready to come back to it. Also, there is a chance that he was playing with your nipples more in an effort to increase your supply. Any chance that was associated with AF?

I do not know how verbal your DS is, but I would consider actually verbally telling him that he can nurse any time he wanted. Then I would go back to offering. It sounds like he feels pretty sickly right now. Have you done the traditional "back to the breast" techniques--- bathing together, sleeping together topless, offering *during* nap time, etc...?

It is very rare for a child to wean before 2 without encouragement of some kind. That is not a *bad* thing, but it is something to keep in mind if your goal is CLW. You can have a very child respectful weaning at almost any time, but just because they stop nursing does not mean they were ready to do so in all ways (physically, emotionally...). Also, children of that age need a full fat milk for optimal brain development. If he is no longer nursing you need to replace human milk with something else.

Good luck!

[PJJ]

1 year

Originally Posted by SunKessed

I would say that at the age of 1 most of a child's nutrition is coming from milk (which is why many people switch to cow's milk at that point).

The reason most folks do the above is that the medical community here in this country some time ago decided that a child should be weaned from human milk/ formula by the time their weight is tripled--arbitrarily 1 year.

As with most things decided by the medical community, there were no scientific studies done for this and no evidence that milk meant for a calf is meant for a human baby/child.

The majority of the world is lactose intolerant.

As for posting in CLW, there seems to be many of these type of posts for non-CLW concepts. Some may not find that very helpful.