Who will be at your birth?

[Lunaria]

I've just started thinking about this one. I went to see my new midwife(who is awesome!), so I'm assuming she and another assistant midwife will be there. Of course my dh. Now this is the tricky part...I've had a wonderful lady with doula experience offer to be my doula. And I think I want the kids there too(they're ages 4 and 2).

So that makes 5 adults including me and 2 kids. My dilemma is that our apartment isn't that big and I am thinking I will want quiet and privacy. So the above amount seems like too many! But then again, that doesn't leave anyone to help with the kids or videotape the birth.

My questions are, who is coming to your birth(wether hospital or home)? Who is looking after your other kids? Will there be someone designated just for videotaping or taking pics? Have you had experience with too many people at your birth before, or too few?

Jenny

[lotus.blossom]

I'm a bit conflicted about this. My extended family loves to gather for births. Meaning- cramming 15 people into a small hospital waiting room or everyone gathering at someones house during labor. Being that I am the only one in the family ever to attempt a homebirth I am going to have to stand my ground about no one coming over. They have joked that they will hang out in the backyard in a tent or peek in my windows.

My parents live here in the summer but my mom is coming up a bit early to help out. I want her to be there but I won't be calling her as soon as I have my first contractions. Ideally I would like to have it just me and my hubby for a while before calling the midwives and my mom (at around the same time) I am hoping to go into labor while my son sleeps. But if he is really driving us crazy then I am sending him to stay with my aunt/cousins down the road.

So it'll be my 2 midwives and their apprentice + my husband and my mom. I am planning to use a tripod for the video camera when things start to get more intense. I anticipate that my mother will be able to take photos. She really hung around in the background in my last labor and didn't get too involved.

[~Katie~]

DH I hope! Plus my midwife and her assistant, and my midwife's daughter to watch DS. I don't like having an audience around while I labor and birth, so anyone non-necessary won't be there.

[CookAMH]

My husband and the birth attendants. MIL will come visit a few hours after the birth.

[burm_keep]

At home. My doctor, his apprentice (who was my doula w/ my son and I adore her). My doula. My DH and my DS. If my son needs to get away from it all, DH will be with him. All my attendants are pretty hands off unless something more is needed, so I'm hoping for a more "by myself" feeling. If DS wants to be involved, that'll be great too.

[Shonahsmom]

It will just be DH, the midwife and her assistant. I'm sad but accepting that my daughter has stated that she does not want to be there, she only wants to be there right after the baby comes. She's seen all manners of birth videos, read books on birth, has watched The Business of Being Born and while she has really positive views about birth she's decided it's too intense for her to participate in. So, she will be going to a neighbors or just hanging out in her room if she wants.

I know from my birth with her that I need quiet and privacy to birth so no one else will be invited or welcome.

[Quate]

My husband, the midwife, presumably a nurse since it will be a hospital birth. I'm still trying to decide whether it's worth the money to hire a doula or not--having never done this before I just have no idea what to expect!

[lotus.blossom]

Quate- I think its worth every penny to have a doula with a first time birth in a hospital. I regret not hiring one for my first.

[Miasmamma]

Originally Posted by Quate

My husband, the midwife, presumably a nurse since it will be a hospital birth. I'm still trying to decide whether it's worth the money to hire a doula or not--having never done this before I just have no idea what to expect!

Expect more than one nurse! Labor is no respecter of shift changes! At one point while I was pushing with DD, there were no fewer than 15 people in the room!!! Talk about distracting. If you are going to a hospital, hire the doula!!! She will help protect your space, and you will want that.

[Sadie Lake]

Me, my dh, my dd (who's obsessed with birth right now. We probably watch 30-40 minutes worth of birth videos on youtube every day), my m/w and maybe a doula.

I haven't decided yet about the doula. I know they're great, but I'm going to do hypnobabies, and I don't know if I want someone trying to "help" me if they're not familar with the program. One of my dear friends who I trust has volunteered to do it for free, and she only lives 1.5 blocks away. Plus, my dd feels totally comfortable with her, so if my dh wants to be involved with keeping me in my zone, she can be with dd.

But like someone else mentioned, I almost think I want someone there just for taking some pictures and videotaping the actual birth. Dh did it last time, but I'm worried that this time he'll be too preoccupied with dd so I'm afraid we'll miss it! I really don't know if I want any more people in my birth space though... haven't decided on that one yet.

Sadie

[jenneology]

I'm hoping that my husband and little boy will be the only ones present. Maybe a midwife and assistant will come. And maybe my little boy will go to my neighbors house during the birth, but I truly hope that doesn't happen.

[kangaroomum25]

I'm still deciding...it may just be me and my kids.

[kriket]

honestly I would prefer to be alone.

I will probably have everyone and their stethascope in my yoni : I haven't decided what I'm going to think/say about this.

I fo' sheezy do NOT want my ILs siblings parents (maybe my mom while I am in labour) in with me. no way.

[Kelly1101]

I'll be in the hospital. My husband will be my coach, and my mom will be there in kind of a doula capacity-- to keep intervention off of me and make sure I have everything I need.

The rest of the family won't be there by my choice, and I don't have any other kids.

ETA: Oh, and no camera is coming near that room until the baby is completely out. I don't want to be worried about looking like crap in pictures while I'm laboring.

[j_p_i]

I'll likely be at a birth center, not a hospital (which wasn't a choice before) so yay! It'll be DH, my mom, doula, and MW (or 2 if she has an assistant). I'm not good in front of a lot of people and tend to get pretty uncomfortable if I'm the center of attention in a normal situation. I really picture myself in a calm, quite, darkened space with only people I am very comfortable with around. I think I need to feel 100% comfortable with my surroundings in order to have the best birth experience for me.

[Haydee]

This is stull up for debate.. I'll be birthing at home, and I know I want my SO there along with our midwife and probably her assistant. DS wants to be there, so I may assign my mom to be in charge of him. Other than that, we're really not sure yet.

[SereneBabe]

We'll be at home. Our midwives will be there (three of them, likely, unless there's another birth at the same time). They talk about how they've very good about staying out of the way, as if they aren't there, if that's what I want.

My husband will be there for it, too.

My daughter 5.5 may be with us for some of the labor while my parents drive up from Boston (2hrs) but if it gets too intense, she'll go to a friend's house. Then my parents will come and bring her with them to a hotel. I definitely don't want her there. I need to focus on *me* and it will be hard enough letting go of everything, I can't imagine worrying about her wellbeing at the time, too. (She gets really upset when I'm sick or even if I cry, so I'd worry about her for sure.)

I'm trying not to have too many visions of what it will be like since this will be my first vaginal birth... no real idea what it will be like!

[greenmamapagan]

This is undecided. I'm birthing at home but because we're moving in just over a week I haven't booked my mw yet & I had to say goodbye to my beloved doula. DH will be there and DD. We wanted a doula to support for DD but aren't sure if we'll find one who clicks with her in time (the other one was a friend who knows DD really well).
TBH, I'd prefer no-one but I'm not quite up for freebirth yet and I do think DD will need support.

[Amydoula]

Originally Posted by Lunaria

I've just started thinking about this one. I went to see my new midwife(who is awesome!), so I'm assuming she and another assistant midwife will be there. Of course my dh. Now this is the tricky part...I've had a wonderful lady with doula experience offer to be my doula. And I think I want the kids there too(they're ages 4 and 2).

So that makes 5 adults including me and 2 kids. My dilemma is that our apartment isn't that big and I am thinking I will want quiet and privacy. So the above amount seems like too many! But then again, that doesn't leave anyone to help with the kids or videotape the birth.

My questions are, who is coming to your birth(wether hospital or home)? Who is looking after your other kids? Will there be someone designated just for videotaping or taking pics? Have you had experience with too many people at your birth before, or too few?

Jenny

Midwife, DH, nurses. I'm not a big fan of a large group of people watching me birth. DS1 will stay with my parents. DH will take pics later on, I don't particularly care to have any of the actual birth.

[ScootchsMom]

My DP (who will hopefully make it home in time if I go into labor while he is working.)
My Doula
My Midwife
and I'm assuming a nurse will be checking on me occasionally once I'm at the hospital. Its a small hospital so I don't expect a ton of people to be in the room anyway. I don't plan on being there that long anyway, hoping to go in pushing, lol.

We're still up in the air about DD. She is of course welcome at home, and the hospital has said she is welcome there as well. But I don't think she can handle it. She cries if I bang my head or stub my toe. So we have my brother and his wife on call to come get her if she can't take it.