Protecting your birth space

[kangaroomum25]

First, a labouring woman needs to be protected against any stimulation of the thinking part of her brain - the neocortex - for labour to proceed with any degree of ease.

This part of the brain needs to take a back seat and allow the primal "unthinking" part of the brain connected to basic vital functions to take over.

A woman in labour needs to be in a private world where she doesn't have to think or talk.

quoted from Michel Odent
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/ar...rth-child.html


Do you think your dh/partner is responsible for protecting your birth space? Why?

If so, then how can he or she do this?

If you were going to write a manual for this, a "how to" what would you include?

[Thefrawg]

I don't know if he is "responsible" for protecting my birth space, but mine chose to help with this, with the help of a doula. I agree with the quote, which is why we got a doula. I needed to not have to "host" this event for anyone who needed reassurance or whatever from me. This included my nervous dh, who was as supportive as his panicky self could be.

Once our doula gave him things to do, he did a great job of protecting my space and the atmosphere of the experience. It really helped.

AS far as a "how to", I would make a list of what I needed, and how the doula/partner could create that for me.

[JamieCatheryn]

I agree, this should be one of your birth partner's main roles, especially a good one for dad. Being able to tune out of everything else is important, and while in heavy labor you might do it no matter what your surroundings, getting that deep in takes lack of distractions.

To guard your space, some things they can do are:
Be the doorkeeper: keep out unneeded/unhelpful people.
Shush people if they speak too loudly, negatively, or distractingly.
Take them aside to discuss things.
If something must be discussed with the birthing mother, direct the people to do it between contractions only, and in a calm and respectful manner.
Encourage a co-operative environment where you and the mother are in charge by speaking diplomatically but assertively and being kind.
Guard her personal space, don't let anyone who won't be helpful within a few feet of her body.
Stop any interventions that she hasn't yet consented to (like AROM or episiotomy).
Dim the lights.
Close doors and curtains.
Maintain a comfortable room temp for her.

[*MamaJen*]

Originally Posted by JamieCatheryn

To guard your space, some things they can do are:
Be the doorkeeper: keep out unneeded/unhelpful people.
Shush people if they speak too loudly, negatively, or distractingly.
Take them aside to discuss things.
If something must be discussed with the birthing mother, direct the people to do it between contractions only, and in a calm and respectful manner.
Encourage a co-operative environment where you and the mother are in charge by speaking diplomatically but assertively and being kind.
Guard her personal space, don't let anyone who won't be helpful within a few feet of her body.
Stop any interventions that she hasn't yet consented to (like AROM or episiotomy).
Dim the lights.
Close doors and curtains.
Maintain a comfortable room temp for her.

Those are all good things. And of course, getting into that deep laborland space is so much easier at home. I have trouble imagining it being possible in a hospital setting, especially if you were constantly having to fight off interventions. I think the most important thing is just maintaining a safe, calm space for the laboring mother.
The other thing is to remember is that the laboring woman really might just want to be left alone. That's how I was. I just wanted to sit in the middle of the birth pool and trance out and totally ignore the world around me. I didn't want anyone talking to me, rubbing my shoulders, or asking me to in any way use my brain, because that brought me back into the normal world, and in the normal world being in labor hurt. But if I could zone out into laborland, everything was all warm and hazy and pain free.
Some guys want to be in the middle of everything and fix things, and they may not realize that their partner might want them to just stay away.
I guess it's sort of like labor is a cave that the woman retreats into alone, and her birth partner's role is to stand outside and stand guard and make sure nothing gets in.

[alexzanders_mama]

I am talking to my husband about all this because I want my birth space protected this go around. My last two births were stressful because of my FIL!

DS - DH's father was getting anxious because my labor was taking forever and actually called my husband into the hall way and told him to think long and hard before getting me pregnant again because of what it was doing to me. I did hear his saying this also......

DD- Dh's father walks into the room, I had to be induced and had been on pit for about three hours. He looks at his watch and then says to my DH " lets go home and mow your lawn, this is going to take a while.

Needless to say I do not want him there this go around.

[Otterella]

FWIW, Michel Odent has come out to say that he did NOT say the things he is quoted as saying in this article, but the article continues to circulate anyways.

[Patchfire]

I feel like it is my responsibility to protect my birth space. With that in mind, I've written very detailed lists with my last two births - even more with dd2 than ds, since I learn from each birth. The goal is to not have to speak, to not have to specifically request anything. Yes, dh had a role in that, but ultimately the responsibility lies with me.

And it worked, too - Odent writes about the fetal ejection reflex and that is exactly what happened with dd2's birth.