Hi everyone. I am going to come back and read this thread a little more thoroughly when I'm not about to fall asleep, but I just wanted to chime in.
I am no stranger to anxiety. It comes and goes, and for the most part I have a handle on it now, but it's been a long ride. Initially (child/teen years), I had bigger problems with social anxiety, general anxiety from OCD-ish behaviours, and depression. I don't often feel depressed any longer, but anxiety can be rough. I'd SO much rather be depressed than anxious. I was having major problems with OCD again last year, after not having too much trouble with it for awhile, which really brought me down and freaked me out. That has got to be the worst anxiety I have ever experienced, it was AWFUL. I tried all kinds of things-- all the things that are "supposed" to help-- and was still getting worse. Diet, exercise, vitamins, therapy, natural this and that, breathing/thinking techniques, etc etc etc. I finally gave in and tried an SSRI, and I'm so glad I did. It gave me the control I needed to quiet my mind when appropriate. I can actually sleep now-- I've had sleeping problems my ENTIRE life, so this is huge
I think I got lucky and found the right medication for me on my first try. I don't feel out of it, or otherwise medicated. I feel like myself, and that I'm okay to really be myself. I can talk to people a little bit easier, have had a much easier time socializing, and am able to step back and really work on myself. I have a counsellor, and I can now focus on the things that were too hard on me before, and I am proud of myself. Not everything is great; in fact I've been feeling SO GOOD this week, and am already starting to feel the back-lash. It seems like everytime something is going good for me, then I suddenly get hit with a bad bout of anxiety, as if something awful is going to happen. I can feel it trying to sneak up on me now.
It's not perfect, but it's coming along. And, you know, It's okay to feel down sometimes. I try to remind myself that it's okay to feel what I'm feeling. That can help a lot.
Going on medication has been an eye-opening experience, particularly because it got me to leave my judgments behind (I was pretty anti-med). In fact, I feel pleased to share my experiences these days. I don't want anyone to feel alone, or shamed, or inferior... Including myself. We just need to do what we need to do. It's all good.
Big hugs mamas!!!