For my first birth, I explained very clearly that I did not want anyone anywhere near me during the birth. Not in the room, or outside or across the street in the park! I explained that I would feel pressured to perform if they were there. I explained how I knew that they were coming from a place of love and support and that however well intentioned they were, their presence would put me off. I told them it was my own issue and not a reflection on them in any way! I went on and on about how amazing they all were! (not true...but needed to diffuse any drama and hurt feelings before we got started!) I also explained that if they wanted to be included, that we would call to tell when I was in labour, and call with a progress report every few hours. However, we would not answer phone calls and for my hospital births, instructed midwives that no info was to be given out to anyone under any circumstances. I told them that I needed DH focused on me and my needs and of course our baby, and that I did not want him outside on the phone. I then politely told them that if they felt unable to work with us on our wishes, we would simply not include them at all and call when baby was a few hours old! This worked out well and for subsequent babies, everyone was happy with the arrangement. My DH texted with cute updates when there was time, which was not often due to quick labours, I was not distracted and they all sent us their positive labour energy from afar. Because of this it was easy to let DH include them in the big news, within the first half an hour after I delivered. No one met the baby straight away and waited till we said it was okay. My SIL met my 4th within minutes as she arrived to help care for my big kids as it was a home birth.
All the best with your birthing experience.
All the best with your birthing experience.
