Hi
I am planning on taking my youngest DS out of school after the Easter holidays for an initial 12 week period to see how we felt. I had a meeting with ex and his wife recently to discuss the plans and general philosophies with them. Although my ex stated that he has nothing against home ed and that he would be fine with this as long as he knew they were learning and that the learning they were doing would mean that they could follow their dreams as adults, his wife is very against it. She is a very assertive woman (not a bad thing) but I feel in this issue, she actually doesnt have any decision making authority.
During our meeting, many references were made regards to removal at Easter, how we could all support DS hit the dreaded 'targets' high up before we took him out at Easter, how we could ensure that if, actually we felt school WAS the better place for him after the summer - how we could make sure he was up to speed in September if he went back.
I made sure that they knew it was intention to do this (after the cue from ex that he would have no problem as long as his concerns could be met....) and that we would share resources/info and have more meetings to include them in writing our Ed Phil. So we left on a good and postive note. I since have been chatting with DS about our new adventure and crucially - negotiated a six month unpaid leave break in my contract with a option to return on less hours (which would be totally managable as they are flexible hours). My boss has been SO understanding, and in the current work climate - more than I realistically expected.
However! - His wife called me last night with some news. She wanted to tell me that they had both been made redundant and so this will affect his child maintanence payments. So we are going to be on only my partners income. He is being wonderful about supporting me.
But she Also said that DS had been talking about Home-Ed and she is worried that he will be disappointed as they had, in NO way, given 'permission' for this.
I am so confused and frustrated!
: I also think HE should have told me this too! He doesnt have a problem with Home-ED! She is very mainstream and authoritarian, thinking that a tight structured regime is best for the children. I think the issue is with her, not him and that is irritating.
We are meeting again next w/e to talk more, but I really really thought that we have okayed the concept and next few months would be learning and talking time.
Has anyone else been in position when they have had to 'persuade' an ex? I was only ever suggesting we took him out for 12 weeks of the summer and see how we go. She now says that my ex definately thought we we discussing next academic year, not after Easter. He was there the whole time we were talking about Easter.
I also know that they are worried about their future. In fact, I almost want to say to them that a formal education doesnt make us infallible in adulthood... My ex and his wife are very 'mainstream'.
Please help!
I am planning on taking my youngest DS out of school after the Easter holidays for an initial 12 week period to see how we felt. I had a meeting with ex and his wife recently to discuss the plans and general philosophies with them. Although my ex stated that he has nothing against home ed and that he would be fine with this as long as he knew they were learning and that the learning they were doing would mean that they could follow their dreams as adults, his wife is very against it. She is a very assertive woman (not a bad thing) but I feel in this issue, she actually doesnt have any decision making authority.
During our meeting, many references were made regards to removal at Easter, how we could all support DS hit the dreaded 'targets' high up before we took him out at Easter, how we could ensure that if, actually we felt school WAS the better place for him after the summer - how we could make sure he was up to speed in September if he went back.
I made sure that they knew it was intention to do this (after the cue from ex that he would have no problem as long as his concerns could be met....) and that we would share resources/info and have more meetings to include them in writing our Ed Phil. So we left on a good and postive note. I since have been chatting with DS about our new adventure and crucially - negotiated a six month unpaid leave break in my contract with a option to return on less hours (which would be totally managable as they are flexible hours). My boss has been SO understanding, and in the current work climate - more than I realistically expected.
However! - His wife called me last night with some news. She wanted to tell me that they had both been made redundant and so this will affect his child maintanence payments. So we are going to be on only my partners income. He is being wonderful about supporting me.
But she Also said that DS had been talking about Home-Ed and she is worried that he will be disappointed as they had, in NO way, given 'permission' for this.I am so confused and frustrated!
: I also think HE should have told me this too! He doesnt have a problem with Home-ED! She is very mainstream and authoritarian, thinking that a tight structured regime is best for the children. I think the issue is with her, not him and that is irritating.We are meeting again next w/e to talk more, but I really really thought that we have okayed the concept and next few months would be learning and talking time.
Has anyone else been in position when they have had to 'persuade' an ex? I was only ever suggesting we took him out for 12 weeks of the summer and see how we go. She now says that my ex definately thought we we discussing next academic year, not after Easter. He was there the whole time we were talking about Easter.
I also know that they are worried about their future. In fact, I almost want to say to them that a formal education doesnt make us infallible in adulthood... My ex and his wife are very 'mainstream'.
Please help!
so I can't see any reason why on earth she thinks as the step parent, that is only involved during visitation really, has any say in your & your exh's childs' education. The decision really only needs to involve the two of you, with the step parents giving input but not making the choice.
He still wasn't thrilled, especially b/c when we met (the first time we'd spoken more than a few words to each other since he "lost" the custody battle), I had already figured out this compromise and was just explaining it to him and trying to involve him in decisions about electives (she's in high school).
We are having issues with Dom's biodad as well.
