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To tell, or not to tell?

post #1 of 28
Thread Starter 
So, now that dd has mumps, I am not sure if I should tell my friends or not. I have 3 friends with babies (they are all following Dr. Sears schedule). I don't know if telling them dd has mumps and is in a better mood now than she ever is would be good or bad. On one hand, it might show them that mumps aren't scary. On the other hand, it might send them running to get their kids vaxed. Of course, I won't bring dd around them until she is better (unless they would want me to, which they won't). I just didn't know if I would be doing the anti-vax "crusade" harm or good by letting them know. What do you think?
post #2 of 28
I would not. When my son had measles, I did not tell anyone. He got healthy quickly enough. I was quietly happy that he had them.

Life goes on. JMHO.
post #3 of 28
I wouldn't lie about it but I wouldn't volunteer the information either. If you believe that mumps is a mild, normal childhood illness (which I do), then there's no reason to make a big deal out of it. If it comes up, it might be a good opportunity to quell some fears and dispel some myths, but that's up to you.
post #4 of 28
I would tell your friends that have small babies that are not old enough to get the MMR yet. It could show them that mumps is no big deal, and yet they couldn't run out and get the MMR if their babies are less than a year anyway. If they are older than 1 year and you think they would run out and get it than I would keep quiet, if only to protect their kids from the vax a little while longer (since it sounds like they will get iot eventually anyway)
post #5 of 28
Well, if their babies are under 12mo they can't get the MMR .
post #6 of 28
Quote:
Originally Posted by Emmeline II View Post
Well, if their babies are under 12mo they can't get the MMR .
BINGO! so they can only panic if you tell them anything about your child having a VPD.
post #7 of 28
The problem is that I think I've read that babies under 1 (usually around 9 months) will be given the MMR in cases of a an outbreak--regardless of sense or efficacy. So, it's possibly that even a baby under 1 could be given the MMR.

Regardless, I think that if your kid was sick or contagious around these other kids, you might consider telling the parents. So they know what to expect. So that they don't unwittingly expose others. It might be the mildest illness ever, but in very rare cases it might not be mild. You shouldn't get blamed if their child gets ill, but consider that they might want to know/be prepared.

If your kid wasn't around them at all in the several days before getting sick, I wouldn't say anything.
post #8 of 28
Quote:
Originally Posted by ammiga View Post
So, now that dd has mumps, I am not sure if I should tell my friends or not. I have 3 friends with babies (they are all following Dr. Sears schedule). I don't know if telling them dd has mumps and is in a better mood now than she ever is would be good or bad. On one hand, it might show them that mumps aren't scary. On the other hand, it might send them running to get their kids vaxed. Of course, I won't bring dd around them until she is better (unless they would want me to, which they won't). I just didn't know if I would be doing the anti-vax "crusade" harm or good by letting them know. What do you think?
I'm just a tad curious what region of the county u live in? Mumps party anyone? Actually i've never really considered seeking out mumps- but i hear that for boys it's better to get it young than older cuz there's a greater chance of sterility in older males.
Anyways- just curious :-)
post #9 of 28
Thread Starter 
We're totally willing to share! But I think dd is only contagious for another day or two, based on when we noticed her starting to swell.
post #10 of 28
If you have been around your friends lately and think they might be exposed, I would tell them, just so they can keep an eye out if their child starts to develop symptoms. I would be worried that it would affect the friendship if their child gets sick, and the parents find out that it was from your child but you didn't mention anything. Just try to be low key about the whole thing.

Otherwise I might just keep it to myself, depending on the friends involved. If I suspected that they would either a) freak out, or b) have a "see, I told you so!" attitude I really wouldn't bother.

But I would be willing to share the information later, after your child is well, if it comes up in conversation. "Mumps? No biggie. DD had them last year..."
post #11 of 28
Quote:
Originally Posted by peainthepod View Post
I wouldn't lie about it but I wouldn't volunteer the information either. If you believe that mumps is a mild, normal childhood illness (which I do), then there's no reason to make a big deal out of it. If it comes up, it might be a good opportunity to quell some fears and dispel some myths, but that's up to you.
Agreed! And if anyone wants to come over for a play date, etc., I'd just mention you babe is under the weather and get a raincheck.
post #12 of 28
I agree with peainthepod and to-flu.
I wouldn't want too young infants around...
Though one question: I had mumps, so let's say when DS is 3 and have our second baby, Baby 2 will be protected through my breastmilk, right? Since I really had the mumps?
post #13 of 28
I'd probably tell them - but that's just me. I really wouldn't care what they thought but I think they have the right to know especially if your child was infected while they were together.

I think it might show them that you are not afraid. I think alot of time people assume that if we don't vax that we have this attitude of "my child won't catch that stuff you are all vaxing for".

Of course, WE know this not to be true. I am not naive enough to think my kids will never contract a disease for which many vax. I just have faith in their body's innate wisdom and capability to fight the disease.

My kids got CP and I was quietly happy too. It was more of a nuisance than anything. They were barely even bothered by it.
post #14 of 28
Since they are pro-vax (even if it is Dr. Sears' schedule) I would not tell.
I would tell all my non-vax friends.
post #15 of 28
I would tell anyone that was going to be coming into contact with my child just as I would if we had planned on going somewhere and one of them came down with a cold or something - I feel it's only common courtesy. I dont tend to go round giving other people's kids our germs whether it's a VPD or not.
post #16 of 28
There is no anti-vax crusade. This is a decision that each family has to make for themselves.

I would tell. For sure. No question.

ETA: Just for clarification of my stance on the issue, I'd like to point out that I have five completely non-vaccinated children, ranging in age from 2 years to 21 years.
post #17 of 28
Quote:
Originally Posted by SevenVeils View Post
There is no anti-vax crusade. This is a decision that each family has to make for themselves.
I would tell. For sure. No question.
I have two kids neither of them have been given the MMR and neither of them will be getting the MMR. I agree that The Mumps is a really really mild childhood illness, and not a big deal. However, I am not about to let someone else decide if it's a big deal they give my kid formula when they are exclusively BF just because someone else doesn't think it's a big deal. I am not about to give my in-laws give my kids toy guns for gift just because their kids had them, and their kids are freaking amazing kind wonderful young adults (seriously we'd all be proud to have our children grow up to be such wonderful people) so the in-laws thing toy guns are no big deal. I am the mom and I get to make those choices. There is no way I would assume that my way of doing things is so superior that I get to make the choice about exposing another persons child to an illness without their knowledge, cause I think I know better. I'm shocked that there is even a question as to whether or not to tell. Shocked.
post #18 of 28
If i found out that one of my friend's had a child with mumps or measles ot even a cold, a KEPT it from me, KNOWING i had a BABY...she would no longer be my friend. PERIOD.
post #19 of 28
There's some kind of logical disconnect for me here. You're not wanting to tell your friends who have babies because they might run out an vax their babies? But aren't they planning to vaccinate anyway? It sort of seems like you think that just mentioning disease is going to change their minds as if they are really ignorant. That seems somewhat self-centred to me.

I would be furious if my friend didn't tell me her child had a potentially very harmful contagious disease. I think that you should respect your friend's choices as you expect them to respect yours. And be responsible.
post #20 of 28
This thread has taken a turn. The OP isn't saying she would or wants to expose someone's children; she has already stated she is keeping her sick child home.

That this is even a question someone has to ask is a result of the ignorance of disease and hostility towards non-vaxers that is promoted by the mainstream.
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