Update... I worry my UC and even a homebirth is going out the window
Cross posted from Birth Professionals:
OK... here is the deal. I need somebody (or multiple somebodys) with a clear head to help me process.
Background: First birth I had preterm labour that was stopped repeatedly and then in the end he ended up being induced. I had a hind leak of my membranes at 40 weeks which resealed itself and nothing came of it. I was induced at 43 weeks exactly because my asthma was flaring and it was decided that after a course of prednisone it was better to get the baby out at that stage. Cervadil started my contractions right away and they were regular right from the start. I took forever to get from 1 (where I started) to 4. Membranes spontaneously ruptured after 35 hours of labour, sparing me pitocin (which was supposed to be started a few hours later). Fluid clear. I started throwing up over and over and couldn't stop when someone mentioned the word c-section. After a couple of hours I had an epidural because I was presented with that as my only chance at a vaginal birth (since I wasn't dilating any further). I got that, stopped throwing up but went into another world basically. Finally got to 4, and then dilated the rest in about an hour. Pushed for 20 minutes and he was out. Healthy, APGAR 9 and 9, fluid was clear throughout despite being 43 weeks etc. I hemmoraged after my placenta was pulled on by the cord. Not fun, but he was at least fine.
So I have been planning a homebirth this whole pregnancy. Expected to go past my due date, go into labour, water break somewhere in there, deliver healthy baby at home. I have done a ton of work and realize a lot of why I reacted to my first birth the way I did (shutting down/throwing up etc) was psychological related to sexual assult I have been through.
Fast forward... 37 weeks, 6 days... and my membranes ruptured and no contractions . Today I saw my midwife and she wants me to consult tonight or tomorrow morning with an OB. She is fine with me refusing an induction up until Thursday.
She gave me a rundown of the hospital staff who is on... and I am so so torn on what to do.
Today the OB is very laidback. He will be the most receptive to me saying no to an induction but also the most receptive to my birthplan for position for delivering, having my baby with me etc etc
Tomorrow and Thursday the OBs are less easygoing.
I feel like a trapped animal. I do NOT want to be in the hospital at all. I wish I had a crystal ball though because if I knew I wasn't gonig to go into labour on my own by then I would probably get induced today because of the OB on call. I am afraid to wait the three days and then end up getting induced anyway and having them want to do full workup on my baby because of prolonged ruptured membranes etc. I also know that there are risks the longer we go so that is on my mind (though I am GBS negative so that is at least a plus).
The hospital in my town is very non-progressive. I could go to the hospital I delivered my son at if it came to that, but it would mean being without my support people because my midwives couldn't be there (they don't have priviledges at our local hospital either, but they could act as doulas), and my other labour support wouldn't be able to be there because of their own families and the fact it's over an hour away.
I don't want pitocin. I am considering going and getting checked tonight and if my cervix isn't doing a whole lot then going with cervadil overnight. I desperately want no epidural and it wasn't pain last time it was being out of control in the hospital so I am so torn by all of this.
Edited to add: I have tried homeopathic blue cohosh, am alternating that and homeopathic black cohosh now to try and get things moving. I have a nursing toddler, but it still isn't bringing on contractions. My midwife suggested castor oil, which I am not sure about. Walking was making things go earlier in the week but baby's head seems to be higher now instead of lower and I am not sure why that is, but the result is that walking isn't working anymore to bring anything on.
I have no idea if this makes any sense at all... if you made it this far, thank you.