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Things that sound bad out of context... Share yours - Page 3

post #41 of 121
I just taught my son Ring around the Roses and he loves it. Today we were at his grandparents and he is playing on the floor with his grandpa and starts running around in circles yelling "a$$e$ a$$e$ down". He was angry cause grandpa didn't understand right away, so FIL looks at me and says...Jen I think he needs to poop or something. HAHA!
No grandpa, "Ashes, Ashes, we all fall down"
post #42 of 121
Not in English, but funny.

Ds2, aged 2,5 went with me into a small pet store where they were selling fish and birds (in Turkey). He just loves to watch all those little colourful fish. When I am with him, he usually speaks Dutch. And so he wanted to say 'vis vis vis' (fish), but he cannot pronounce the v and ended up exclaiming very excitedly 'PİS PİS PİS PİS PİİİİİİİİİİİİS PİS PİS' ALL the time while pointing at all the little fish. You must know that in Turkish the word for fish is 'balık' and nothing near to 'fish'...and he was basically shouting 'DİRTY DİRTY DİRTY' .
post #43 of 121
This is my DH's story. DH and DD were in the restroom at the changing table, and a man in the stall next to them passed some gas. DD says loudly "Whoa... Poopy!"

Poor guy.
post #44 of 121
During potty training, my DS asked me where my penis was, I told him the whole thing, girls don't have penises, they have vulvas, boys like you and Daddy have penises, yadda yada.

Later that night DH brings our son to the grocery store. While checking out our DS started yelling at the cashier (while smiling, and proud of himself), "You're a penis!" over and over. It was a man, so I guess he had gotten some of the point!
post #45 of 121
DS1 pronounces "turn it" like "darn it", and he loves things that turn or have wheels. He also loves to help with laundry and the like.

He's often announcing things like:

"Mamas wheels (car), darn it, darn it, darn it."
"Mama laundry, darn it darn it darn it"
"Mama key (getting into the house), darn it darn it darn it"
and others....

DH accused me of saying darn it all the time while he's gone!!
post #46 of 121
We're getting ready to go to Costa Rica. A 7.5 hour plane ride each way. Now, my ds has been on pletnty of planes (I guess we're just a travelling family...) but I think this is the first one he will remember. (Last plane trip was in August/September, so he was 19/20 months old.) I have been preparing him by telling him exactly what will happen on this long journey of ours and one of the things I tell him about is what we will do on the plane (eat, play with toys, use the potty, read books, play with Daddy, take a nap, and watch movies). I've told him about these activities several times (per day) already, but tonight for some reason he decided to start yelling

WATCH BOOBIES! WATCH BOOBIES!

Fortunately, we were in the house, but imagine if we'd been in a restaurant or something.
post #47 of 121
oh wow what a distraction this thread was!! hahah!!
I have one to add-
We use generic "bottom" for genitals- I know- generic- anyhow... the other day, dd was getting ready to shower with me and pointed out my "bottom" and then hers, and then proceeded to tell me that boys have a squirter and girls have a sitter! (she did accurate motions to go with it- she joins us both in the potty regularly, haha)
post #48 of 121
I am wiping tears away, thanks so much for the laugh y'all. I'm laughing too hard to think of anything funny enough to post, but if I do I'll be back...
post #49 of 121
Ever since Mason could talk he has been abbreviating everything. He calls himself May-May, he'll ask for a pence(pencil), he calls his butt his boot(short for booty).

No big deal right? Well, not until you watch Toy Story together. "There's a snake in my boot!" meant a totally different thing to him
post #50 of 121
DS and I were playing together when he fell down on top of my hand at just the right angle that he managed to get stabbed in the butt with my engagment ring. He ended up getting a little bruise there and it was tender. For days anytime he sat down he said "Mama you really hurt my tush with your hand" Great, now everyone at the library thinks I spank! I found myslef explaining this to strangers, no no he felle on my ring, I never spank PLEASE beleive me!! DD loves socks loves to point them out to everyone only she calls the Cocks.
post #51 of 121
:

Oh, boy! Look what I have to look forward to in a couple of years! Thanks for the entertainment, ladies!
post #52 of 121
FOr a while my DD was obsessed with a WE sing kids songs cassette tape I'd let her hear in the car. SHe didn't exactly know what to call it so she called it her Friends songs and the cassette was a white cassette so she'd fuss often in public mommy I jsut wanna listen to my WHITE friends!

Deanna
post #53 of 121
My XBF had an adorable three year old who couldn't say "st" sounds yet. They came out as "d". So one day we're camping and looking for walking sticks. XBF finds one, and his son goes around yelling "Daddy has a big dick!"
(I hope I never see XBF again, but I do miss the kid).
post #54 of 121
I thought of another one... DH was learning to spin poi (like this: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Poi_(juggling) ) and DD was fascinated. So she'd ask people who walked by while he was practicing "Don't you want to come watch my Daddy spin his balls?"
post #55 of 121
I just posted this on another thread, but thought you would appreciate the humor also

When 7yoDD was a toddler she and Daddy had a fantastic game where he'd scoop her up and smack her butt while tickling her and roughhousing all over the couch.

Imagine our chagrin...and total mortification...when at a friend's house, whom we hadn't seen in YEARS...she runs up to Daddy (sitting on their couch), jumps on his lap, sticks her butt in his face and squeals...SPANK ME DADDY, SPANK ME!!!

:

I.Could.Have.Died.Right.There.
post #56 of 121
Quote:
Originally Posted by Theoretica View Post
I just posted this on another thread, but thought you would appreciate the humor also

When 7yoDD was a toddler she and Daddy had a fantastic game where he'd scoop her up and smack her butt while tickling her and roughhousing all over the couch.

Imagine our chagrin...and total mortification...when at a friend's house, whom we hadn't seen in YEARS...she runs up to Daddy (sitting on their couch), jumps on his lap, sticks her butt in his face and squeals...SPANK ME DADDY, SPANK ME!!!

:

I.Could.Have.Died.Right.There.


When I was younger, my mom did in-home daycare. She used to tickle us and say that she was "beating us." Let's just say, that she had quite a bit of explaining to do when, in public, we would shout out "Beat me, Mommy! Beat me!!"


A month or so ago, Alivia was sitting on my boyfriends lap, when she suddenly turned to us and said what sounded like "Hey there, you little N!$$er Ho!" We both snapped our heads around to look at each other. Took us quite a bit of time to realize she meant "Knuckerhole" from Dragon Tales. Course, later, we went to drop her off at my mom's and, before I could explain her new word, she said the same thing to my mom. My mom's head snaps to look at me with wide eyes. I said "Knuckerhole. Sounds just like knuckerhole, doesn't it?!"
post #57 of 121
The absolute worst was when dd's language was really devoloping between 18 months and 2 years old. We have been instilling manners since long before she could verbalize them. Of course, one of the things we taught her is when to say thank you. So this completely backfired because for at least 6 months she could not properly pronounce the word "thank". In fact, she wasn't even close. So while that itself isn't a problem and we'd be happy whatever came out so long as she was attempting "thank you", it became a HUGE problem in public.

Let me give you a scenerio. One of many. We go through the checkout line at the grocery store. Dd happily sitting in the cart catches the eye of the checker. The checker says, "would yo like a sticker!?" as they hand one over. We apparently did so well teaching her when to be appreciative and say thank you because she would attempt to say it every chance she got. So, she would happily (and sometimes very loudly) say, "f**k you!". Dh and I are both non-cussers so she never hears that word... that was just her best attempt at the word "thank". While people usually found it very entertaining I hated having to explain to everyone that my 2 year didn't just cuss them out but, rather she was trying to say, "thank you". She later decided to get lazy like everyone else and drop the "you" and just say, thanks... which then just came out as a simple "f**ks!" greaaaaaaat.

She has long since grown out of that and can very clearly say "thank you" now.

A current one that is probably just as bad: dh always wears a watch. Typically time keepers are called clocks and this is what dd knows them as. She is still unable to pronouce the "l" in clock so you can understand why we now tell her that when she wants to see daddy's watch and we're out and about around others she must make sure to say, "can I see you WATCH daddy", "look at daddy's WATCH", "daddy's WATCH is way cute mama", etc. There were too requests reguarding dh's watch that were sounding so very innappropriate that we had to just take the word "clock" right out of her vocab for the time being!
post #58 of 121
This was done by MYSELF in the first grade..

Mortified my mother..

We had my very first SUBSTITUTE teacher one day..

My mom waited for me in the lobby of my school, and when I saw her I yelled LOUDLY.."MOMMY! Today we had a **PROSTITUTE** teacher, and she was a flamingo!"

I have no clue what I meant about her being a flamingo....Or where I learned the word prostitute at the age of 5....
post #59 of 121
When my toddler was younger she would look out the window during every meal and see a rock that is somewhat frog shaped. And proceed to point and shout "f*ck! f*ck! f*ck!"

Today she was playing with play dough. She made me a ball, a ball for herself, and then she made Daddy balls. I kid you not, she then went on, in toddler-stream-o-conscienceness-way, to talk about how nice Daddy's balls are, then oops she broke Daddy's balls, then she fixed Daddy's balls, she lost Daddy's balls. Aren't Daddy's balls nice, aren't they beautiful, don't I love Daddy's balls...
post #60 of 121
Today ds4 was pushing a picture of Pres. Obama across the kitchen floor by blowing on it (Who knows why!). I was in his path, so he decided to go under me, saying "Spread your legs for President Obama, Mommy!"
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