help me recover from c/s - 2+ weeks now (added notes)

[jrabbit]

I had an emergency c/s on Jan 9. Emotionally, I'm a wreck, but physically, I'm just lost. How in the world do you get over this? How do you know what's normal? My MW has been checking on me, and I had a follow-up with the doctor on Friday. He removed the bandage (or whatever it was) and said everything looks great. They both keep telling me that it's just going to continue hurting for a long time - and the pain will change. I was "ok" over the weekend, but today, the skin is very painful, like where the incision is. I don't know if it's the incision or "inside" - I don't know if it's because I bent over picking up things too much yesterday. <ETA: I didn't do housework, just bent down when i hadn't been doing any of that before. I pretty much live in pjs with a laptop, tv tray & satellite tv - AND a baby! DH brings meals to me. We have a housekeeper, and DH is doing laundry. Kids are old enough to do "some" help, but not old enough to be able to let me rest if it's just us in the house without DH. TV is ok, but it does make them more hyper than normal, so they can't just be left to their own devices.>

I don't know what's "normal" so I'm constantly worried.

And DH has to go back to work this week, but we don't have anyone to help me with the siblings - so I'm stressed, of course. Since we homeschool, the kids are always home - I just need help entertaining them, school can wait. but they are super bored, and i'm super tired and useless. <ETA: we aren't even worried about the school - and I've been trying to find "someone" to help, with no success. I don't have family or a circle of friends to call on. I am not comfortable discussing "why" I need help, so I can't ask for generic help. And, we really can't afford a lot of help, even if we could FIND it. This experience has ben expensive, on top of painful.>

ETA: on top of everything else, I'm a workaholic. It's absolutely making me crazy that I cannot DO anything. Projects are what normally pull me out of a funk, and all I see now are projects piling up on top of each other. I see the mess/chaos of the house just getting exponentially worse everyday, and that makes me more frustrated. So, yesterday, I folded some laundry, but that's all I could manage. I want to be outside in the garden, but I can't just sit still out there "looking" at the weeds. I want to be weeding! Normally, I sit on a stool and pull weeds - I wonder if that would be "too much" ... i was hoping I could do that soon.

Thanks for all the comforting words - I guess I just HATE where I am so much that I can't see the light at the end of the tunnel.

[pbjmama]

How about a trip to the library to get some new books and a few movies. I know TV isn't popular around here but I think it would be appropriate to use for a couple weeks while you recover and take care of yourself/new baby.

[Super~Single~Mama]

I had my baby on the 10th, it was a relatively easy birth, but I'm really just starting to get back to my normal self (I did tear really badly). I can't imagine how much harder it would be with a c/s. I hope you start to feel better really fast!!

[sapphire_chan]

I know that 2 weeks is really really soon to be physically better. My SIL and cousin-in-laws both took at least a month before they were able to do much of anything beyond holding their babies. And I don't think they were fully up to everything for some time after that. You will definitely heal faster if you pace yourself.

Ideally, and I would use bribes (er, "payment for services rendered") to accomplish this, you'd occupy your older kids with doing all the stuff around the house. Yeah, they might not be able to do everything you would if you were feeling well, but they can probably do a lot if you break it into small tasks and simplify things.

[alexsam]

It does take a long time to physically (and for many people, emotionally) heal. 2 weeks out... That is still the very begining. At 2 weeks out I was still taking regular pain medication (and not a little Tylenol either!) and spending most of my time resting. I would not expect that you were "yourself" for more like 6-8 weeks out. Even then, there may be intermitten pain for a few months to a year and you should be careful with over-use of your lower abs. The fact of it all is- You will need signficant recovery time.

I also might suggest finding at your local drug store an abdominal support wrap. I found that really helped.

Now is the time to call in favors. Can a relative take a week or 2 to visit and help? If nothing else, can you hire someone to help with the laundry and housekeeping? Can you ask your friends or faith community to help with meals? How about a mothers helper to give you a bit of a break with the big kids? Honestly, I know these things may be a stretch financially or a little socially akward to ask for, but it will take much longer to heal (physically and emotionally) if you are run ragged and dealing with pain. Help at this point is not a want- it is a physical need.

As for emotional issues, ICAN (International Cesarian Awareness Network) may be able to give you some support.

[milkybean]

"I don't know if it's because I bent over picking up things too much yesterday. "


Sit down! Stop that!

You had major abdominal surgery. And at the end of that, you were handed a baby. When my child-free friend had major abdominal surgery, she was kept in the hospital for 2 weeks, was NOT handed a child, and had a care team of friends and family for when she got home. She and her then husband bought her a special chair to sit and sleep in so she didn't have to go up more stairs (their condo was split level; to go anywhere she had to go up or down stairs) than needed. She was forced to stay put until SHE felt ready to move around (except for the walking around the hospital thing they always make you do).

Right now, taking care of you is paramount (and baby too of course). I did too much, and I was still hurting over a year out. I actually think it took 2 years for the physical stuff to get better. Of course, my hemoglobin was about a 5 when I was released 42 hours post-op, and no one told me, and I didn't ever see the midwives again (fired them about 2 hours after I was forced to transfer) and only saw the ob on call once at 2 weeks out (he didn't even remember telling me to make that appt, then never minded when I kept delaying my next appt so I gave up on it), and I didn't know about my iron levels until a LONG time after when I finally read that section of my records.

I didn't take care of myself, and I paid for it, big-time. DS paid for it too, b/c I coudln't have fun with him for a LONG time. Sure I did stuff with him, but it hurt me, and ultimately that hurt him too.

So let the housework slide. Let the homeschooling slide. Since the others are old enough to be homeschooling they are old enough to help you, yes? Maybe just take a vacation from the schoolwork, have someone get you some movies (perhaps this would be a good time for a trial period of Netflix???), and relax. Take care of yourself.

[limabean]

I second everything milkybean said. No housework, no school. Put some movies on for the older ones, have your DH prepare everyone's breakfasts/lunches (including yours!) before he leaves for work in the mornings, and just cuddle with your little one in bed.

I had a c/s in April, and I didn't feel remotely better until about 4 weeks afterwards. That was when I saw the light at the end of the tunnel, and by about 10 weeks I was able to see that I would eventually feel "normal" again after all. But at 2 weeks? I was definitely still just lying around at that point. Let your body heal.

[just_lily]

Hang in there. C-sections are hard. I had mine after a three-day failed induction, so I was exhausted before it even happened (I actually kept falling asleep on the operating table).

What helped me most was being able to go for a walk and get some sunshine. I had a LOT of swelling, and was told walking was the best thing for it. Vitamin D really helps.

As for pain, I really hurt for about four or five days, or until my staples were taken out. That helped a LOT!! I was on Tylenol 3s along with Motrin for at least another week after that, and then just Motrin for a while longer.

It is normal to feel achey, but any sharp pains I would worry about and get checked out. My skin felt really weird.... kinda numb, but also sore around my stretch marks (I imagine that is normal with a vaginal birth as well?). I still have a bit of numbness.

Take it easy, Mama. Every day will get a little bit better.

[a-sorta-fairytale]

c/s are hard physically and emotionally. I dont feel semi normal for about 4 weeks and i really cant even start to get into the swing of things for 6 weeks. Shoot - first cs they kept me till i signed out ama 7 days post op. 2nd one i bribed my way outta there at 5 days post op. I slept on the sofa downstairs for the first few weeks this time as climbing stairs hurt too much. I couldnt stand up straight either time for the first week - i walked hunched.

It takes a while to heal because it isnt just the incision it is the muscles and everything they pulled/pushed/mangled to get to the baby.

I too hate watching things pile up but i always felt worse if i overdid it. Watch your bleeding - mine always got heavier if i overdid it.

[sapphire_chan]

Ah, I see from the notes you're doing an excellent job of taking care of yourself. What you really need is help resisting the impulse to jump up and undo it all.

You can't weed in the garden, but you can plan and order seeds/plants for the spring.

You can't throw on your welding mask and carve and mold that 10' steel sculpture, but you can sketch.

You can't haul around full baskets of laundry, but you can ask your kids to either carry partial baskets or to run laps back and forth carrying a few items at a time. "Okay, get white clothes!" I'd bet you could actually think of a few dozen things like this.

[Lydiah]

Go outside. Even if you have to just sit in a chair, but feel free to take a short, short walk if you are up to it. Fresh air helped me lots when I started getting cabin fever after about 2 weeks. Rest and dont feel guilty about asking for help.

[freedak]

Hang in there! I had a c/s at the end of October, and I (thankfully) recovered very quickly. My sister had two sections, and she gave me some tips that REALLY helped.

#1: Walk. Don't go out and walk miles, but walk around your house in short spurts. I found this to be the most important part of my physical healing process. I also incorporated walking up/down the stairs once a day (never more than once!).

#2: Do ZERO housework. Yes, it will drive you crazy to see the doggie hairballs on the floor, but let them be. Your job is to recover, not to clean.

#3: I know you said you don't have an extensive circle of support in your area, so make your DH be that support. It is HIS job to clean up, make/pick up dinner, do laundry/dishes, and take care of the kids in the evenings. If he balks, remind him that you had major abdominal surgery.

I know those pains you're talking about! Did you have staples or Dermabond? I had Dermabond, and I think it was the glue/plastic pulling at my skin. It was no big deal, and continued until all the Dermabond peeled away (at about 7 weeks pp). If this is the case for you, too, you have some itchiness to look forward to!

Re: pulling weeds--don't do it! Don't do anything that requires you bending over (even from sitting) and pulling. I tried to do laundry (pulling out of the washer) soon after my c/s and caused some serious pain. Wait until you're all better!

s to you, mama. Having a c/s is rough, especially when you've been through labor beforehand (like you, I had many hours--36--of labor before finally delivering). I think it's even harder to recover after labor + c/s. It'll get better--I promise!

[jrabbit]

thanks again - sadly, I didn't have any labor - this was a true emergency c/s performed because my baby was showing decels and signs of distress during early labor, which never progressed into anything. I wasn't tired, exhausted, or anything - just shell-shocked from being told at midnight that this had to happen NOW. She's my third baby, and I know what labor is - I am devastated that something was wrong but grateful at the same time that we had a Plan B and were at the hospital to find out what was wrong. To add insult to injury, the c/s was traumatic, and I never wanted to be in a hospital in the first place. Sorry to sound whiney - I have tried to find a way to cope, but I simply can't. So, every time I look around my home and see all the things I "could" be doing but that I can't, it's just killing me to realize all the things that I've sacrificed and lost. I'm getting emotional support = but today, it's the physical pain that is hardest for me because there is NOTHING i can do about it.

[limabean]

I'm so sorry jrabbit -- I had a lot of the same feelings you're experiencing after my emergency c/s in April. Have you checked out the Healing Birth Trauma forum here? It might help some to read the stories of others who have been there:

http://www.mothering.com/discussions...prune=-1&f=502

[dogretro]

I had a scheduled breech c/s w/ a v quick recovery, so I am not much help in that dept.. BUT, I do want to say that sharp pains when straining the abdominal muscles for months after your c/s are normal. For instance, I would go to sit up in bed, or lay down, and just collapse in surprise pain. This was from pain on my uterus. I dont remember how long it took for that to go away, but it eventually does.

[rvamommy]

I had my C-section after a homebirth to hospital transfer. I know how tough it is! The inactivity combined with the stress of the c-section was emotionally crippling for me.

Have you considered getting a Postpartum Doula to come over and help out?

Try to imagine how much you would allow yourself to do if they had just cut you open for surgery on your bowels or a tummytuck. You'd be taking it easy, right?

Walking around really helps the healing and can help keep adhesions from forming which is defintiley important if you're planning for more kids or just simply to avoid pain in the months ahead.

I had a lot of stinging but it was from tape burns and tape residue stuck around the incision. You might want to have DH check and see if there is anything stuck on you. If so, Milk of Magnesium liquid works wonders for getting it off.

At 6 weeks I started yoga again and that made a world of difference too.

Good luck and hang in there!

[mamatowill]

I had a c-sec on Jan 5 so I am right there with you. I am surprised at how much pain I still have. This is my second though so I figure that must make a difference. Luckily I live with my parents so they have picked up the slack with housework. I know that you want to be doing stuff (as do I) but I have found on the days that I have overexerted myself that I pay for it later.

Have the kids help and your DH can do stuff after work to keep the house going. See about a postpartum doula. See if you can swing a mother's helper.

[caro113]

Did the rebirthing idea help at all with the emotional healing? I really thought that was an amazing idea! I don't know anything about the physical aspect of it, but I understand your emotional aspect. I hope you're rebirthing went well though.

[Sunshine4004]

I had a c-section with my DS. I was not back to doing my normal activities, relatively pain free for about 6 weeks. For several months I would have random pain if I lifted too heavy. Even now, 6 months later, I think from the nerves being cut, if I put pressure on my stomach at the incision I have tingling sensations.

My best advice since I have been there and done that is to take it slow. It drove me insane that I couldn't do my normal things so I would attempt them and then be in pain again and back to 'square one' for a few days before I felt better again. In time you will be back to yourself so take it one day at a time and enjoy your new little one!

[annettemarie]

I'm going to move this to Birth and Beyond. We have lots of mamas there who can give specific advice for healing from a c-section.