Originally Posted by ihugtrees
Honestly, it's not a big deal if it's not every single weekend. But I have had MULTIPLE families who would spend every single weekend out with their friends, socializing the entire weekend. One woman in particular, a single mom, would bring her 13 month old child from house to house all weekend, drinking with all of her other single friends...who, by the way, every time they were together (I witnessed this) would rant about how awful every man in the world was and how much their lives sucked. Not the most positive environment for a child. Grown, 'mature' career women in their late 30's, early 40's--not 21 year olds here. She never, ever, not ONCE while I was working for her, took her daughter to the zoo or the park or the library. I would ask what they did that weekend and she would tell me honestly that they spent the weekend with this friend or that friend. There would be empty bottles of wine and beer on the counter, wine and shot glasses in the dishwasher. She always wanted me to feed her child dinner before she got there so that she could bathe her and put her in bed at 6:30 (she got home at 5 or 5:30.) Maybe it's just me, but if I never saw my child during the week, I would most definitely be spending as much time with her on the weekends as I could! If a child is missing a nap because of a trip to the beach or some quality time with family, that is an ENTIRELY different scenario. When I wrote that post, I was thinking more of the parents who can't let their previous life go at all, so they spend every single weekend painting the town with a baby in tow.
I'm sorry if I offended anyone. I think that if someone started a similar thread titled, "Biggest pet peeves about your job" that EVERYONE would love to vent about what their boss did or some stupid rule they have at work. If your boss came on and read that, I'm sure they'd be offended too. But just remember that if we really hated the job, we'd quit! For the most part, I have understood WHY my parents did things the way they did, even if I didn't 'approve' and LOVED their children (even if I didn't always love the parents)--that's what is important right?
But here we go again. Why would it be a big deal if the parents and children are busy and socializing every single weekend? Who does that hurt? Why do you care? How can spending time with loved ones -- friends or family -- be bad for the child?
When I wrote before about weekend family gatherings, I wasn't talking about the occasional weekend. Some portion of my family or DP's family gets together almost every single weekend. Some weekends they come to us and many weekends we travel to them, and that not only includes visiting our respective parents in our home towns, but also traveling to see my different sisters in their cities. Does that change your opinion then? Do we no longer have your approval? Is it a big deal now that you've learned that my nieces and nephews have spent nearly every weekend of their lives out with family or friends, socializing the entire weekend?
And for DP and I, we have a close circle of friends that are like family to us, people who now have titles such as "Honorary Aunt", "Honorary Uncle", "Honorary Grandma", etc. in relation to the baby we are expecting this Summer. And guess how most of our time with those friends is spent? Sitting around at one of our houses and talking (politics, religion, the economy, gossip, celebrities, family drama/gripes, work, you name it) and even *gasp* drinking some alcohol (well, not me right now, of course). I look forward to incorporating our child into this life and helping him/her develop meaningful relationships with all of our friends, all of the "aunts" and "uncles".
I think only good can result from a child being surrounded every weekend of their lives by an extended network of people who loves and cherishes him. And I think only good can come for a child who gets to regularly hear and observe adults talk and interact with each other in a real, meaningful way. As far as I am concerned, the main negative is the possibility that we might encounter the Monday morning judgment of our child care provider because we can't let our previous life go and continue to socialize -- *paint the town, even!! -- every weekend with our friends and family.
Short of abuse or neglect, it isn't the child care provider's business to approve or disapprove how parents choose to raise their child. From your posts it is clear that you think it is your business, and that is why your posts are offensive to the mamas reading this thread.
*It is a mystery to me how you think parents could possibly "paint the town" with a child in tow, a child who could never get into bars and clubs. Perhaps we have very different definitions of what it means to "paint the town".