"share day" sounds nice, but...

[ZoshaMosha]

Would this bother you?

My dd's preschool has "share day" every friday. Kids bring in a favorite toy or book and share it with the other kids. But, as it happens, it's not so much an exercise in sharing as it is an orgy of commercialism. Mattel couldn't dream up such an effective marketing strategy!

All the kids come with their Barbie this-that and their Disney Princess such-and-such and it's like a competition for who's got the coolest stuff. It really bothers me. So, now DD is coming home telling me about all the cool stuff the other kids have and how she wishes she had that stuff too.

All that said, you know kids really DO want to show off their things and it's nice to provide one day when kids can bring their things to school.

What do you think?

I have so many issues with this school...

[maddymama]

Our school put limits on what to share- nature (neat leaf) found objects, etc. NO toys from home were allowed. It made sharing more fun.
~maddymama

[rabrog]

IMO, if you don't want your child to see the commerialism, don't go to a mainstream preschool or mainstream private school. Those are the options. I agree it's a pain. DD never knew who Dora was until she went to preschool (I hate Dora and we don't allow it in the house).

If I could, DD would be going to the co-op preschool but it's got a waitlist of 40+kids. If you're that upset by it, you need to homeschool or find a school that fits with your parenting philosophy better.

Jenn

[CarrieMF]

I'd let it go. For all you know those kids are going home & telling them what your dd brings & how they want that.

The only variation of this activity that I've seen was last year 3 or 4 months the teacher had a theme for their sharing day. sometimes the kids had to make something & bring it in. One that I can think of offhand was they had to bring in something that sank & something that floated, then show the kids.

[supervee]

The schools DS has been to didn't let them bring toys to share.

My response to "I want such and such that all the other kids have" is "Hmm." I just don't continue the conversation. It's a no-win conversation.

[Alyantavid]

I don't really see an issue with it. Yeah my kid will come home sometimes and say some other kid had this really cool toy. Its never been a big deal to us.

[je309]

We have "show and share" at our school and the kids are asked to bring in something that starts with the letter of the week. It can be whatever they want it to be including toys. I don't have a problem with it because it's just life. They can't have everything and they know that. They have things that other kids don't and vice versa. I think that parents can try to protect their kids from exposure to everything but it does them a disservice. They are going to see these things eventually (if they ever plan on having play dates, etc.) so what is the difference?

My kids (ages 3 and 5) have never come home complaining about what other kids have. I guess each kid handles it differently.

[Drummer's Wife]

It wouldn't bother me.

[Kirsten]

In my experience (my kids have been to eight schools over the years), there is always share day. Some do letter of the week, but still whatever you want. Most have let you bring your pet with prior approval. Only restriction I've ever seen is no toy guns at one preschool we attended.

I think you are overthinking it. It is just the real world. She will see Barbies and princess stuff everywhere - at friends' houses, while shopping with you at Target, ads that come with the newspaper, tv commercials if you do tv or if she ever watches at gramma's.

I had a no Barbie rule when my dd1 was young. She survived seeing other kids have Barbies. It really wasn't the end of the world.

I still have a no SpongeBob and no Bratz rule. They somehow survive.

I wouldn't worry at all about the sharing thing - but what are the other issues you have with her school?

[Chamomile Girl]

Oh man this situation would make me crazy too! It sounds like "shareday" is basically QVC for kids...and during school time no less. This activity would make much more educational sense to me if there were a no-toys rule.

Plus it is a situation that could easily highlight socio-economic disparities between kids. Not cool.

[cyclemama]

Could you suggest a "no-toy" rule? Maybe pitch it as being more educational. My kids' school has a no-toy rule, and my kids just love sharing day. I remember one day my 4 yo was so excited about a broken clock one of his classmates brought for sharing. There is always so much discussion about the items. But I can't imagine any kind of interesting or enriching conversation arising about a Barbie doll.

[beka1977]

That would make me INSANE. :

[rainbow dancer]

Whenever dd sees something she wants to get (in the store, at someone elses place, in preschool at show and share) I tell her to put it on her list.
(it's either Santa's, the Easter bunny's or her birthday list) By the time that time rolls along, she has forgotten most of the stuff she wanted.

[Heavenly]

Originally Posted by TeresaZofia

Would this bother you?

My dd's preschool has "share day" every friday. Kids bring in a favorite toy or book and share it with the other kids. But, as it happens, it's not so much an exercise in sharing as it is an orgy of commercialism. Mattel couldn't dream up such an effective marketing strategy!

All the kids come with their Barbie this-that and their Disney Princess such-and-such and it's like a competition for who's got the coolest stuff. It really bothers me. So, now DD is coming home telling me about all the cool stuff the other kids have and how she wishes she had that stuff too.

All that said, you know kids really DO want to show off their things and it's nice to provide one day when kids can bring their things to school.

What do you think?

I have so many issues with this school...

Truth? I think you are really over thinking this and overreacting. Our kids have share day every week too and my kids love it. My kids are allowed to have Barbie or Disney Princess though, because I don't believe banning everything is respectful of my kids. Either way, just let your child show her stuff and have a great time. I guarantee you she is not putting as much thought into it as you are.

[Heavenly]

Originally Posted by cyclemama

Could you suggest a "no-toy" rule? Maybe pitch it as being more educational. My kids' school has a no-toy rule, and my kids just love sharing day. I remember one day my 4 yo was so excited about a broken clock one of his classmates brought for sharing. There is always so much discussion about the items. But I can't imagine any kind of interesting or enriching conversation arising about a Barbie doll.

Maybe the kids are just showing the stuff for...fun? Share time takes what? 15 minutes? I think 15 minutes out of the day isn't going to harm their education. My daughter had share time today and took her huge stuffed pit bull. Nothing educational about that. But she was excited and the kids thought it was cool so oh well.

[Heavenly]

Originally Posted by beka1977

That would make me INSANE. :

Is it really worth getting that worked up about though? I mean, all the things in the world there are the need to be changed and people that need to be helped and you let share time get to you so much?

[je309]

Heavenly....I couldn't agree more. It's preschool show and share for crying out loud! At our school, the point of this activity is to encourage children to develop their public speaking skills as well as their confidence in front of a group. If it makes them happy to speak for 30 seconds about a princess, so be it!

[Roar]

Originally Posted by je309

Heavenly....I couldn't agree more. It's preschool show and share for crying out loud! At our school, the point of this activity is to encourage children to develop their public speaking skills as well as their confidence in front of a group. If it makes them happy to speak for 30 seconds about a princess, so be it!

It is quite possible to accomplish the same objective without the toy show. Our preschool had this kind of share time daily and kids would show a "trick" like a new yoga move, or share news "we got a new puppy" or "grandpa took me too the park" or whatever.

[straighthaircurly]

I can understand your frustration and I think it is very reasonable to speak with the teacher and/or the administration. At my son's school they do not allow toys to be brought for share time. Instead the kids are asked to share an experience they had. My son shared this week about our weekly family meetings and how we're learning about a different virtue each week.

I do not see the point in kids sharing about their toys, it seems rather superficial to me. And it sends a message that it is the things in their lives that are most worthy of attention rather than the people or experiences in their lives. Even limiting the sharing to a favorite book or bringing a picture of a family member, experience or pet would be a good place to start.

[Nimbus]

I'm with the OP on this. Especially the Disney princess and Barbie stuff. They perpetuate such misogynistic c**p. This type of "share and tell" also serves to highlight socioeconomic inequities between students' families. As to the comments about over thinking and overreacting... It IS important to pick your battles. However, if maintaining a non-commercial/overly branded home environment (toys, books, etc.) is important to the OP, it makes sense something like this would be bothersome. It's similar to someone wanting their child to eat mostly organic and then getting irked about commercially prepared rice krispie treats and fruit by the foot being served for snack at school. (Wait, that's me...)
I like the idea of sharing something from nature, a drawing/piece of art the child made, or an experience (as straighthaircurly mentioned) would strengthen the same public speaking skills mentioned by other posters without the emphasis on the cool toy.