"share day" sounds nice, but... - Page 2

[Hatteras Gal]

My dd has preschool show and share every week, to correspond with that week's letter of the alphabet. This week is M and she took in a magnet yesterday. Other kids brought stuffed animal monkeys, a little play container of milk, and a monster truck (those were the ones I saw).

I personally wouldn't be as bothered by it as the OP, but we let our kids watch TV (with commercials) and have character toys and movies. But if you really feel so strongly, make a suggestion to the teacher, like someone said, about a no-toy rule, or a theme for the week. HTH!

[CaraboosMama]

As a preschool teacher AND a mother of a preschooler here are my 2 cents --
Many times this is a compromise between letting kids bring in toys from home whenever they want (which in my experience is always problematic!) and banning toys from home altogether. For children this age, it is a way to bridge the gap from home life and life at school. Having an item from home to talk about often helps kids feel more comfortable as they are adjusting to school.

I encourage my daughter to bring things she has neat stories about (sea shells from time spent @ the beach, etc.) instead of just toys. It seems like a variety comes in in her class (about 1/2 toys and 1/2 other types of sharing items).

[Geofizz]

Show and tell has a real part in preschool and grade school education. It teaches kids to talk in front of their peers, speak at an appropriate volume, string together a whole thought, and give enough context for others to understand. For those listening to show and tell, it gives kids a window into what others' lives are like and brings in new ideas. Having a prop makes this process a lot easier for most kids.

In my kids' classes, we've lead by example on things like this. Once DD brought in her mineral collection, other kids started bringing in their collections (some Star Wars figurines, but also a collection of keys, and a coin collection). Sure, there were still Barbies and the like coming in, but there was more creativity in the contributions. Kids realize that this is what's interesting.

[ZoshaMosha]

OP here.

I do allow Barbies et al. at home. DD has tons of Disney princess cr*p. So, it's not that I fear she is exposed to this stuff. It is everywhere anyway. I am just concerned about what Nimbus said. It creates a socioeconomic divide. I am almost certain other kids are going home and asking their parents for what my DD has. This doesn't make me feel warm and fuzzy.

While commercialism is everywhere, does school need to be a place that perpetuates it? That's all I'm wondering.

I love the idea of bringing something that starts with the letter of the week. That way the emphasis is less on "how cool is my toy?" to "how does this fit into the overall discussion at school?"

I will suggest this. Thanks.

[mtiger]

Then how do you stop "B is for Barbie" or "D is for Disney" or "P is for Princess"? With the same toys being brought in.

I'm on the lower end of the SEScale, and it's a fact of life - some people have more, some have less. Whoop de doo. When the younger one had an open house where her class showcased the Chinese Horoscope, she got the Rabbit. And she brought in .... her rabbit. Guess what? Lots of kids went home and wanted Mommy and Daddy to buy them a rabbit. Not my problem, to be honest. Mine have come home telling me about the neat "whatever" their peers brought in. Cool! How Neat! Doesn't mean we're getting one!

Seriously - you can not protect kids from everything. They WILL find out that some people have more (toys), bigger (houses), more expensive (cars) than others. Welcome to the real world.

[je309]

Originally Posted by mtiger

Then how do you stop "B is for Barbie" or "D is for Disney" or "P is for Princess"? With the same toys being brought in.

I'm on the lower end of the SEScale, and it's a fact of life - some people have more, some have less. Whoop de doo. When the younger one had an open house where her class showcased the Chinese Horoscope, she got the Rabbit. And she brought in .... her rabbit. Guess what? Lots of kids went home and wanted Mommy and Daddy to buy them a rabbit. Not my problem, to be honest. Mine have come home telling me about the neat "whatever" their peers brought in. Cool! How Neat! Doesn't mean we're getting one!

Seriously - you can not protect kids from everything. They WILL find out that some people have more (toys), bigger (houses), more expensive (cars) than others. Welcome to the real world.

Exactly. I would stop worrying about what other kids bring in and make sure your own kid brings in something "insightful" or whatever you deem appropriate if you feel the need to do so.

[weissmommytobe]

je309 - I couldn't agree with you more. There is only so much you can do, and the one thing you can do is make it meaningful for your own child. Even children who are on the lower end of the SES spectrum have meaningful items in their home. And, I can guarantee you that children who are on the high end of the SES spectrum don't have everything either especially in these economic times.

[messy mama]

My DS is in Kindy and his sharing is based on the letter of the week. They have to have their item hidden in a bag. They are to practice saying 3 hints, one being which letter it starts with. It goes a little something like this:

Mason, "Hello class, I have something to share today."

Class, "Hello Mason, what do you have to share today?"

Mason, "It starts w/ a P. It is something you eat. And you put sauce on it."

The class then guesses.

Mason pulls item out of bag. "It's pasta!!!"

My DS absolutely loves Friday, his sharing day. He searches all week for something to bring. He always wants to bring odd things to stump the class. I would be upset if someone didn't like how it was handled and wanted to change it. I'm sure he would too.

[runes]

Originally Posted by beka1977

That would make me INSANE. :

You are not alone.

That activity would be a deal-breaker for me. There are so many other ways to encourage public speaking, as well as fostering the continuity between home and school, and I expect a lot more creativity on the part of the teachers to come up with such activities that do so without rampant commercialism.

Also, it is not a particularly useful nor appropriate lesson for a PRESCHOOLER to be learning about the differences between socioeconomic strata as it pertains to toy acquisition. I am not apologetic for wanting to shield my child from those harsh realities until she is older and better able to process, understand and discuss such things.

[*Erin*]

you can make your dd's "gimme gimmes" into a good opportunity for disscussion, i think nobody gets everything they want all the time. kids can learn that, and be ok with it.

it wouldnt bother me.

[*Erin*]

Originally Posted by kidspiration

also, it is not a particularly useful nor appropriate lesson for a PRESCHOOLER to be learning about the differences between socioeconomic strata as it pertains to toy acquisition.

nak
i completely and totally disagree.

kids notice this stuff and process it whether it's expressly discussed or not. it's life.

it doesn't need to be a big, negative deal, it's all in how you present and discuss and it.


also, financial situation doesnt predestine toy ownership-the weathiest families I know buy their children the least amount of toys.

eta
what's "appropriate" for children (or anyone) can be a very subjective thing.

[mata]

Originally Posted by TeresaZofia

Would this bother you?

No, it wouldn't bother me-I don't subscribe to school/peers or even commercialism having *that* much power over my children (ages 5 and 8.) They are in the world and we don't hide its flaws from them-we use them as learning opportunities.

My belief is also not to project my opinions on my children's toy choices, within reason.

[je309]

Originally Posted by mata

No, it wouldn't bother me-I don't subscribe to school/peers or even commercialism having *that* much power over my children (ages 5 and 8.) They are in the world and we don't hide its flaws from them-we use them as learning opportunities.

ITA. My children are even younger (3 and 5) and this is just not something that I am concerned about in the least. How bringing in a barbie or a monster truck defines a child and makes them more or less of a person in the other kids' eyes is beyond me. I guess I love that my kids don't see things like that. They would never in a million years think that "Joe" is somehow better than they are because the brought in X for show and share. It really amazes me that some parents are that upset about this activity being done in school. I guess I should be thankful for the parents at our school! I wonder if some of the upset parents here allow their children to go on playdates at other kids homes if those children have toys that their kids don't have? What if your child comes home and says that they want X toy because their friend has it. Would that be damaging to them and make them think that they may not be as well off or as good of a person? How is that any different than the complaints made about bringing them in for show and share?

Also, it is not a particularly useful nor appropriate lesson for a PRESCHOOLER to be learning about the differences between socioeconomic strata as it pertains to toy acquisition

I think that sometimes parents can make things into a big deal that really aren't. Is your preschooler really associating certain toys with how well off a certain child is? If so, that's pretty sad. My kids do not view their peers in that way and I would venture to guess that most kids don't. Too often adults put their views on their children. They are young kids....their thinking may not be as complex as you like to believe it is. JMO!

[Drummer's Wife]

Originally Posted by mata

No, it wouldn't bother me-I don't subscribe to school/peers or even commercialism having *that* much power over my children (ages 5 and 8.) They are in the world and we don't hide its flaws from them-we use them as learning opportunities.

My belief is also not to project my opinions on my children's toy choices, within reason.

yes! well said.

[Viola]

My daughter's class does share/show every day, but assigns different children share days. My daughter's day is Friday and it seems like a lot of times kids don't bring things, but the teacher told me sometimes it's like they were frantically searching the car and end up bringing in old receipts or something. I remember looking in my car for an L thing for my older daughter when she did this. For whatever reason, they've moved away from initial letters and let the kids bring what they want.

Last week my daughter brought our family pet and the week before that she took her father's Leatherman tool. She'd like to bring in her toy armor with her toy sword, but we didn't think a weapon would be allowed, so we told her she could just bring the armor. She said no to it all in that case. My husband kind of freaked out about the Leatherman, actually, because there are knives in it, but she didn't try and take any of the blades out, she just showed it as pliers.

Sometimes she brings photos or books and toys. I know she brought her Wall-E toys, and that's the only time I've ever heard of what another child brought, because another child brought a big Wall-E toy of which my child was envious.

In any event, I'm not sure what I think of it. I was always trying to help my children find something interesting, something other kids might not bring, so they usually didn't bring toys that a lot of other children might have. I didn't think of it from a consumerism viewpoint simply because there have been a lot of ways that has invaded our lives, but share day was not one of them.

[Kristine233]

Maybe its where I live, but my preschool kids in my classroom bring a wide variety of stuff. Everything from simple bookmarks to glitzy toys. The kids really don't seem to care if someone's toy is "better" than anothers'. We have kids that share blankets or thier winter hat, shoes, rocks... just anything. A few toys may get some oohs and aahs but its usually short lived and they move on really fast. Again, maybe its just where we live? I think it all has to do with how its presented. If the teacher gets excited about it, the kids get excited. I get just as excited about a rock as I do about anything else.

[EdnaMarie]

Last week my daughter brought our family pet and the week before that she took her father's Leatherman tool. She'd like to bring in her toy armor with her toy sword, but we didn't think a weapon would be allowed, so we told her she could just bring the armor. She said no to it all in that case. My husband kind of freaked out about the Leatherman, actually, because there are knives in it, but she didn't try and take any of the blades out, she just showed it as pliers.

Sorry, I was just reading the perspectives on this and I could not help but think... a plastic sword is not okay, but a REAL KNIFE is??? Hey, you know the school, and they have their own rules, but where I went to school, even kindergarten, there were no knives allowed. A leatherman is a knife! My toddler (do not ask how, her dad has to explain this one) knows how to open the knife part. I am just... amazed.

At first I thought about the socio-economic issues as well but I decided that the later posters were right- kids have to learn to deal with this stuff. And we do not have branded toys in our house, yet. But my daughter is two, so we'll see how long that lasts.

[oceanbaby]

My son had show and tell day at his preschool, and he LOVED it. I don't remember there ever being any commercialism issues. Most kids brought in stuff like their favorite stuffed animal, or a toy train they got at the museum - that kind of stuff.

It sounds more like a problem with the dynamic of that particular group of kids or class rather than with "share day" itself.

[runes]

Interesting responses in that they are very contradictory. Either it's not a big deal, or it's a great way to teach kids about "real life".

[runes]

Originally Posted by *Erin*

nak
i completely and totally disagree.

kids notice this stuff and process it whether it's expressly discussed or not. it's life.

it doesn't need to be a big, negative deal, it's all in how you present and discuss and it.


also, financial situation doesnt predestine toy ownership-the weathiest families I know buy their children the least amount of toys.

eta
what's "appropriate" for children (or anyone) can be a very subjective thing.

Read my post again. Nowhere was it mentioned that wealthy families have more toys. And you actually made my point for me and contradicted yourself at the same time. By saying in the same sentence that financial situation doesn't predestine toy ownership AND that the wealthiest families you know buy their children the least amount of toys you are actually stating that, indeed, socioeconomic conditions in fact DO impact toy acquisition. You assumed that I meant that kids from families with more money have more/better toys...I never alluded to that at all.

Still think this is an appropriate teachable moment for a preschooler? If so, I'd love to be a fly on the wall during that conversation.