Irrational fears in 4yo, I don't get it!

[ArtsyHeartsy]

Hi! My niece, who will be five in June has some very irrational fears and I thought I could see if any mdc mamas had any suggestions. She is scared of anything, and I mean ANYTHING that pops. If I accidentally pop my gum in the car when taking her and dd to school she goes into a screaming fit, turns rigid, starts shaking violently and becomes inconsolable. Even though she knows what it is and it takes a few minutes to calm her down and show her I spit it out. (I usually don't chew it around her, but I forget sometimes) I understand balloons, fireworks etc, and the whole family makes sure not to have that kind of stuff around her, but she has also had these fits over things like the clicking when starting a gas stove, rice crispies and a lava lamp. (I'm thinking she thought the bubbles would pop) At parties she will actually plug her ears if there is any popping (like in a bonfire) she plugs her ears and tries to eat her food by sticking her face in it. Okay, so it's kinda funny, but nobody knows what to do with her.

It's impossible to avoid all popping sounds...or to know what is going to set her off. I know irrational fears are somewhat normal, but it seems like she would start to grow out of it...and her physical reaction is extreme. Is this normal, do your kids do this? I have never dealt with this in any of the kids I have cared for. One of the kids I was a nanny for was very scared of things, but it was because his mom explained how he could die, etc if he wasn't careful (trains, water, stuff like that and he was actually very rational about it)

Anyway, I would love to help her mom out and give her some suggestions if anyone has them!

[mamaduck]

Is it mainly auditory stimulation that sets her off, or does she have other catagories of fears as well?

[straighthaircurly]

Sounds like she has Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD). Suggest that they read The Out-of-Sync Child. You can also post in the Special Needs forum and there are lots of parents there with experience in this. My son was diagnosed with moderate SPD and we were able to get some relief through occupational therapy. Combined with our more complete understanding of how our DS was experiencing the world very differently really helped to make life more manageable for all of us.

[ArtsyHeartsy]

I looked up more info on SPD and that really sounds like her. It is mostly auditory. I sent some information to my sister in law and she agrees that she needs to talk to the dr. about this. I will do some checking around on mdc too to see what others are going through. Thanks so much for your input!

[LynnS6]

Our son had those symptoms, was diagnosed with SPD about age 5, and occupational therapy did wonders for him.

Ds was also hypersensitive to touch as well as sound. Interestingly, his OT said that a lot of his sound sensitivity was due to his inability to figure out where he was in space. He couldn't tell where sounds were coming from, as so panicked. This was related to vestibular issues, he just couldn't orient himself as well as needed.

I'd also recommend the book "Sensational Kids" - there's some good advice there, and an interesting chapter at the end where she discusses research on kids with SPD. The one major finding that I remember is that kids with SPD don't get used to stimuli. So, the tenth pop is as shocking to their system as the first is. Most of us gradually get used to something and these kids don't.