My 4-year old requests NO Birthday party

[catherinevictoria]

DD will be four next month, and has told us a few times now, she does not want a birthday party. last year, she did not want a cake, which we honored in favor of muffins. She has yet to go to another kid's party this year, which might help change her mind. She has one in a few weeks. But what do you make of this? Should we honor her request, and just have a family thing?

(I think she means a party with kids is what she does not want)

[AllyRae]

I certainly would honor the request. Some children simply do not like crowds, loud noises, a lot of other children, or the stimulation of it all. I much prefer the subdued family celebrations anyhow, because the kid parties are just really fast and overstimulating.

It also may change too. My son did not want a party for his 4th birthday, so we picked something else special to do--his choice, and it was just a family thing. For his 5th birthday, he did not want a party...until he changed his mind 3 weeks before his birthday. : So, he got his party.

[Red Pajama]

I'd honor the request. But then, my kids have only had "family parties". Both my husband and I grew up with only family parties, so it's what we know.

[Nolamom]

I'd honor the request, as well. As a child I never wanted, nor had, a birthday party with kids. I still don't like to be the center of attention and chose to have a SMALL wedding - family and a few of our friends only - for that reason.
Personality differences. Dd, 5, is more like my DH. She starts looking forward to her bday party months in advance and even surprised me recently by asking me to have a craft party for a few of her friends!

[Marsupialmom]

I would figure out what she doesn't like about birthday parties. If they are loud noisy affairs it could be overwelming.

Maybe instead of a party do something special like a meal out. Or you taking her and a friend to a movie, ice skating, indoor pool, et.

[MusicianDad]

I would honour the request. Some people just aren't into the big birthday bash thing.

[Justmee]

Me too. If she doesn't want a party don't have a party.

[JustVanessa]

I agree, give her what she wants. Now my ds tells me every day what kind of party he wants.....and his birthday isn't until April!

[CarrieMF]

I agree to honor her request. I'd also ask her if she'd like to take 1-2 close friends(as close as you can get at 4,lol) out for supper to celebrate instead of a party

[karemore]

Ask her what she does want.

We went to a couple Bday parties lately where the birthday child was either crying, or pouting most of the time.

Parties are noisy, parents are focused on the guests/food etc not on the birthday child, and it can be overwhelming for some kids.

I'd much rather take our DD for a special outing with just her best friend!

[onlyzombiecat]

I would honor her request. It's her birthday and she should get to decide how to celebrate.
Dd also doesn't want parties. We had them for the first 3 years and she hated it.
We do stuff with family or go somewhere special.

[mamalisa]

Originally Posted by JustVanessa

I agree, give her what she wants. Now my ds tells me every day what kind of party he wants.....and his birthday isn't until April!

Dd's is in September and she's been planning since the last piece of cake was gone from her third birthday.

If she doesn't want a party, find some other way to celebrate. Maybe a special dinner or movie night.

[catherinevictoria]

Thanks for the suggestions. I will ask her what she does want (besides chocolate cupcakes). I am fine with no party, but of course part of me feels a little like other parents will think we are fibbing that there is not going to be a party. Silly, but you know...

[SquishyBuggles]

I would definitely honor her request...ask her what she'd like to do instead. Maybe she just wants a special day with family only!