My 3rd grader showed her undies to her friends at school

[Mytwokids]

I'm not sure what to make of the phone call I just received from my dd's principal. He had me talk to my dd who was crying. She said that her friends said they could see her underwear and she asked them if they wanted to see what it was like and then showed them. I'm not sure how she showed them, if she pulled it up or pulled her pants down but she showed them none the less. The principal wanted her to tell me and that was her consequence. He didn't plan on doing anything else about it.

So how do we handle it. She's almost 9 years old, she clearly knows its not acceptable. She tends to be very impulsive and I'm sure she won't be able to give me a "why" she did it. Any advice?

[choli]

That seems like an awful lot of fuss about a flash of underwear. I could totally see my older DD doing it at that age...

Friends: "We can see your underwear!"
DD: "Here, now you can see it better! " (flashes underwear because she thinks the whole "we can see your underwear" thing is so assinine.)

[Mytwokids]

Thanks that helps. We have pretty much decided she is probably had enough in terms of consequences and we just plan to talk to her about controlling those impulsive. Stop and then before you act is our montra .

[nextcommercial]

Eh...My neighbor is 33 years old and she made me feel her new breast implants at the halloween party. (they felt pretty real too)



I can promise you that the principal got a HUGE kick out of it. She had to do something though, because there WILL be apalled parents calling in a panic about this. The teachers, recess monitors, and the principal don't really care.

Now when Pollyanna-mom calls they can say "We took care of it, and she won't be doing it again".

[Jessy1019]

That *is* a lot of fuss over undies. If your daughter was comfortable showing them, what's the harm? I would have been annoyed at her having to have any consequence beyond being told not to do that in school again since some people don't like it.

My daughter is only six, but she is not at all modest and will happily show off her undies (when she wears them) or show that she's not wearing any. AFAIK, she hasn't done it at school, but I can see her doing it impulsively. I doubt much will change in the next two years -- modesty isn't a value we, well, value at home.

[Mama2Bug]

Unless you'd also see something wrong with her showing her friends her bathing suit, I wouldn't do a thing.

[pigpokey]

I'd do nothing.

[amcal]

I would do nothing other than sympathize with DD about how she must have felt when the principal called her in the office and made her call you.

I can only imagine how embarrassed/ashamed she must have felt. I'd try to help her process through that and wouldn't worry at all about the undie flashing.

[carfreemama]

Yikes! These are the things I worry about when dd starts school in September--not her, the principal or teacher! Poor kid. Dd would be so upset to have to call me in front of the principal over something like that.

[Tizzy]

I also agree...the school is just probably covering all the bases because some parents make a lot of fuss about little things.

[runnerbrit]

I remember doing something similiar when I was a kid. I had gotten some new underwear that I thought were really cool. They had Snoopy on them. So, I should my friends. No biggie. I would probably just let my dd know that I was not upset but that she should not show her friends her undies at school.

[laohaire]

I was younger, a first grader. Another first grade girl told me she'd be my friend if I showed 2 boys my underwear. Lacking friends (I was short, skinny, wore coke-bottle glasses and hearing aids) this sounded like a good deal. The teacher made me write a note to my mother telling her what I did. I wanted to puke on the bus on the way home. I felt so ashamed when I gave the note to my mom. My mom's reaction? She laughed and that was the end of it.

But I agree with the others that it sounds like your DD was just more like "so you're looking at my underwear? have a look at THIS!" kind of thing which sounds healthy, confident, etc.

I would ignore