Poll: Intimacy after baby - Page 2

[mamajody]

Originally Posted by mzminty

Just out of curiosity (and maybe this should be another thread), what is everyone else doing (or not doing) for birth control? I'd love to just count on bfing to work for a while, but another pregnancy too soon would be disastrous.

Vasectomy. Insert my happy dance here. I am allergic to latex, BC pills make me insane, and I have weird sensitivities to some metals, so my BC options are pretty limited. It took 13 months for my cycle to return after DD 1, and 16 months after the twins, but I conceived this babe only one month later, and by accident. I am not willing to take that risk again, and we know we are done. While I would treasure another pregnancy and birth, it would be financially devastating for us. If we were ever to move to a bigger home, we might consider fostering/adopting more children, but no more babies for us.

[Phoenix~Mama]

I think DH and I are going back to the good old pull out and pray method. lol It worked for us before. I will likely start charting my temps again to avoid and prepare to TTC in 1.5 year or so... but not sure how temping and waking for BF works right now... But there is no way ever I am going back on BC after how long it screwed me up... I was afraid I wasn't even going to get pregnant because my cycles got so screwed up... I actually conceived this one on CD150 if that tells you anything. lol

And still bleeding... grrr!!

[mzminty]

I have to do more research on the IUD's. I know the copper one makes your periods really heavy, and that's something I DON'T need, because they're already heavy. My sister has the mirena and loves it, but even still, I'd rather just let my body do it's own thing.

I'm probably going to start pumping and heading back to work PT in a few months, so I guess the best thing would be to just let my cycle come back and then try to figure out if we can get by with charting and such.

Honestly, I think I'm just going to keep putting off making a decision for as long as I can and hope for the best...

[MeadowAndColtsMama]

Well, Cove was 9 days old last night and we DTD last night. Just took it slow but it was great. This is my 3rd child and I just have easy deliveries so no tearing, I think we waited 2 weeks with other babies. But like pp's have said, you just have to listen to your body. I had been thinking about it for about 3 days! I was ready!

[Phoenix~Mama]

You are so lucky, MeadowAndColtsMama! lol I got really lucky and had no tearing and such too, and have felt really normal down there for weeks... it's the stupid bleeding! Ugh! Any tricks to get the bleeding to be done sooner? lol

[iowaorganic]

we dtd today- so just 1 day short of 2 weeks. It was about time too. As for bc- hmmm- we thought of that afterwards. Oh well. that would be the luck though wouldn't it?

I had an IUD after DS- it lasted 2 cycles before I wanted to rip it out of my own uterus. I had the copper one- omg- the heavy cycles were absolutely unbearable. I mean unbearable. I thought that I was seriously bleeding to death. I really thought I needed to go to the hospital because it was so incredibly heavy. So- I would recommend seriously thinking it over..... Hopefully no one else would have that extreme of an issue with it.

Hmmm- maybe just using that icky film will work? or just praying?

[mzminty]

Originally Posted by JSMa

You are so lucky, MeadowAndColtsMama! lol I got really lucky and had no tearing and such too, and have felt really normal down there for weeks... it's the stupid bleeding! Ugh! Any tricks to get the bleeding to be done sooner? lol

Is there something about DTD while bleeding besides the "gross" factor (not that I personally have a problem with it). In other words, what makes 6 weeks the magical time that means you can DTD again? Does being done bleeding also magically make it ok?

If I hadn't torn so badly, I'd be doing it whether I were still bleeding or not (which I am).


Iowaorganic, I've heard similar bad things about the copper IUD. I'd probably use the Mirena if I were going to get one. I still haven't decided, and Dh is no help. Every time I bring it up, he somehow manages to end the conversation without us coming to a conclusion about anything, and yet, as he says, he wants to "get back into the saddle" again soon! Sure, Babe, as soon as Humpty Dumpty gets put back together again!

[EBeth0000]

We've done "other stuff" reciprocally. It's just whatever you are comfortable with. Plus, now that I'm not pregnant, I can disengage from nursing DD to sleep and "spoon" with DH--we both are really happy about that since with the big belly, we couldn't get anywhere near a good hug or cuddle for a few months.

w/dS it was 12 weeks before we did anything remotely sexual--i had trouble nursing & bleeding/cracked nipples & it was a problem both emotional & physical.

this time i've been emotionally ready for 2 weeks & im 6 weeks pp now. The stitches feel okay so I'd be willing. However, im not on birth control yet & although I never got my period back for 12 mos PP with DS, DH and I "caught the first egg" with both babies now.

We keep joking with each other if we do it now before I get the Mirena inserted, that we will a) definitely get pregnant and b) it'll probably be twins this time

We're just too scared to get pregnant right now (and I have a latex allergy and I hate polyurethane condoms, they hurt more than regular postpartum sex for me!) but after next week's appointment and after things settle down fromthe Mirena (I hear it makes you bleed and cramp for a month or more. . .) I'll probably jump in. This time nursing is going better and I'm getting more sleep so I'm emotionally ready. The stitches are a little tender but I know from past experience the first time will hurt like hell but with "practice" (and frequent lubrication, and using my goldenseal salve and vitamin E oil) things will get better with time down there.

I also recommend getting a natural lubricant with Vitamin E at your natural food and herb store--not KY, KY gets sticky and "tacky" and can hurt postpartum stitches. I found a type I really like at Whole Foods, it revolutionized our sex life after DS

[EBeth0000]

Originally Posted by mamajody

Vasectomy. Insert my happy dance here. I am allergic to latex, BC pills make me insane, and I have weird sensitivities to some metals, so my BC options are pretty limited. It took 13 months for my cycle to return after DD 1, and 16 months after the twins, but I conceived this babe only one month later, and by accident. I am not willing to take that risk again, and we know we are done. While I would treasure another pregnancy and birth, it would be financially devastating for us. If we were ever to move to a bigger home, we might consider fostering/adopting more children, but no more babies for us.

sounds similar here, down to adoption and everything. the only thing is, we want to wait 2 years before making a semi-permanent decision about the vasectomy, so we agreed I'd try to mirena and we would talk on DD's 2nd birthday, and DH will either schedule his vasectomy or we'll make plans to pull it out and try for #3. It's just not good for me to make a decision on that right now

[mzminty]

Originally Posted by EBeth0000

I also recommend getting a natural lubricant with Vitamin E at your natural food and herb store--not KY, KY gets sticky and "tacky" and can hurt postpartum stitches. I found a type I really like at Whole Foods, it revolutionized our sex life after DS

What's it called?

[Super~Single~Mama]

:

I'm terrified of pp sex right now...and only 2.5 weeks till I get the all clear, so my boyfriend is going to be wanting some soon!! I'm still sore just sitting and walking around, I can't imagine what sex would be like!!

[acory23]

I am still very lightly spotting on and off from time to time. No more pain... but DH and I DTD onTuesday because it was my birthday and neither of us could stand it anymore. He went down and it was AMAZING!! Best orgasm I have had in years. I just had to get past the mental block. Not only self conscious but afraid he was going to hurt me or that the baby would wake up... Then came the actual act of DTD. Not so awesome. I had no tearing but the friction was a little much... even with lots of lube. I did notice my personal moisture has returned in abundance which is AWESOME! DH was happy about that. It was like a desert down there for a while. But DH said it was almost painfully tight and as far as things on his end, he could barely move. The thrusting in was not the problem as I thought it would be but the pulling back was horrible.

Needless to say the whole thing was awkward.

It doesnt help that we were using a condom. I hate condoms. DH said he couldnt feel anything. Then I realized, half way through, maybe the reason things were stinging so much down there was because I am allergic to spermacidal lubricant. DH bougt the condoms. We havent used them in sooooo long that he forgot about that. I forgot to remind him. Ugh.

Hopefully next time is better. Definitely looking into IUD. DH is considering vasectomy. I just dont know that we are ready to be done yet. I think we are but we are not 100% sure. I dont know. Im a little weird about it.