Disneyland or pay down debt? - Page 6

[Amys1st]

Originally Posted by Jenelle

I have to agree that there are some posters on this board who have been in their saving/not spending/no debt mindset for so long, or perhaps their entire lives... That they are not very sympathetic to those who are just beginning their journey into frugality, who are just now starting to have difficulty financially, who have only recently suffered a job loss or some other financial hardship that has brought them to this board in the first place.

OP, when I first started poking around this board, I was reluctant to post because our situation felt so bad and I honestly just needed to read and "lurk" and wasn't about to put myself out there for everyone else's opinions. I am glad that you did, though, because you seem to be learning, "inspired" as you say, and there is certainly a lot to learn from the helpful posters on this board. I do hope you will stick around and let us help and support you while you commit to digging out of your hole.

I am one of those posters who has always been of the frugal mindset. We built this board years ago on being frugal and also to help each other w financial aspects of life. At the beginning, we were a huge minority and I cannot tell you how many times people IRL have rolled their eyes or LOL at me for my frugal ways. Now that its envogue they are all knocking on my door.

It used to be, someone would come to this board looking for how to "trim" their budget. It would include going to starbucks 3 times less a week and not ordering a bottle of wine at dinner- skip the appetizer and wine! Split an entree! Wow look at the difference. We had tribes of mamas GOOD (getting out of debt), frugal tips etc. Well now we have people coming here w 5 and 6 figure debt sometimes and they just lost their primary source of income. They were coming in a few years ago with only 5-15K of cc debt and didnt change their lifestyle or life just happend.

So yes, I am not going to be sympathic to her cause of going to the Disneyland style vacation when she has to put herself more in debt to do it. I care too much about the OPs here to say- go have fun! See you in a few more years when you and DP have 5 or 6 figures of debt, on the brink of divorce or losing you home etc. I am glad we can inspire or teach whatever, but in order to get these people back on their feet, all the sunshine and rainbows blown up them is not going to pay down the visa balence.

I think if we all were sitting at my kitchen table or on a patio etc talking it would sound a lot nicer then posting in black and white type. It may sound mean but if you saw my face, it would change it.

[lolar2]

Originally Posted by Amys1st

So yes, I am not going to be sympathic to her cause of going to the Disneyland style vacation when she has to put herself more in debt to do it. I care too much about the OPs here to say- go have fun! See you in a few more years when you and DP have 5 or 6 figures of debt, on the brink of divorce or losing you home etc. I am glad we can inspire or teach whatever, but in order to get these people back on their feet, all the sunshine and rainbows blown up them is not going to pay down the visa balence.

She was referring to sympathy in wording, I believe. As opposed to "what are you thinking????" (for example, no one here posted that exactly on this thread). You can tell her it's a bad idea while still saying, "I understand that it's hard to wait but you will be glad you did."

[Amys1st]

Originally Posted by lolar2

She was referring to sympathy in wording, I believe. As opposed to "what are you thinking????" (for example, no one here posted that exactly on this thread). You can tell her it's a bad idea while still saying, "I understand that it's hard to wait but you will be glad you did."

Ahhh ok I get it now. Yes I agree, I would not post that- well I might think it!!

[freespirited]

Don't worry, I'm not offended by anyone's response. I think it's good that I'm hearing almost unanimously not to do it. One thing that maybe I wasn't clear on is that I wasn't going to go further into debt taking a trip. It was just about what to do with a "windfall" if you will, whether that be a stimulus check or a big sale of some of my jewelry investment, etc. I was talking myself into a trip because I felt I needed to balance my life with recreation and fun and not just throw every dollar at the debt, but I now feel inspired to get out of debt before doing anything that rewarding, and I will enjoy it much more than with the dark cloud of debt looming over my head even in the sunniest of locales. I know it bothers me on a very deep level despite my efforts to push it away and not acknowledge the damage is really is doing. At least I have some ways to pay it down if they succeed. At the very least, we will be able to pay it off completely if we work hard at it this year and then use next year's tax refund to finish it off so I really do think we can be debt-free in one year. At that point, we can start saving the money we would have used for the debt to save for a vacation next year. One we can be proud of and enjoy.

Dh is happy. He wasn't in favor of a trip. It's more of a sacrifice for me than him, but it motivates me to really get my butt in gear this year and be very aggressive about selling my "investments" and getting the debt paid off. It also motivates me to pinch every penny and put every saved penny towards the cc. I think it's always harder to forgo something you've gotten used to, rather than foregoing something you never really had. We were blessed with annual vacations to Costa Rica to see dh's family and relax on the beach and I now have to come to terms with those trips ending, sadly, not only because we had financial issues that affected us, but so did dh's parents so they could no longer help us as they used to once we had arrived. It just created a feeling of being stuck, but I just need an attitude adjustment I suppose, and hope for better days in the not-too-distant future. Facing reality sucks, but it's healthy too.

[wendyland]

Thanks for posting. We thought about going on vacation this year for about a second. We decided to do a camping vacation instead and put everything else we have into paying off debt. It was good to read the posts.

[Jenelle]

Originally Posted by A&A

Seriously? You actually have to ask this question?

Pay down debt.

My kids have never been to Disneyland. It doesn't have to be a rite of passage.

Amys1st, I was replying in reference to this post in particular, and I was not the only one who thought it was kind of... not helpful.

The people who were following the thread regularly (and the OP in particular) knew where my comment was coming from. I am sorry if you took it wrong because I didn't use the quote function.

Also, if you had read all of my posts, you would most certainly see that I am NOT in favor of the vacation, in any way. I was the one pointing out to her that it would take about 500 years to pay off her credit card if she only paid the minimums.

[caiesmommy]

DEBT!

Your kids are still WAY young and the youngest won't remeber going to Disneyland!..Pay down debt for the next couple of years and take them when they are both old enough to REALLY enjoy it!

[Hazelnut]

It's hard not to be a little curt b/c at face value it does sound like a no brainer question, imo. That being said, I think many of us have been in the situation where we feel like we deserve something, we should be able to have something, and everyone in American society is encouraging you to have it...but truthfully you really can't afford it. I think we all know how easy it can be to feel comfortable with debt. It's a bad feeling to have, especially in this economy. I think having a little truth verbally slapped at you might at times wake you up more than gentle suggestions. I don't have debt, and no vacation is in our future. It's too bad, but that's reality. We have enough to be grateful for, and yes there are sooo many creative things we can do with our kids for "staycations". I'm not a DAve Ramsey follower really, but I did just read one of his books (very quick read) and I really liked his take on debt.

oh and OT: but re Disney, I agree about the age thing. I dislike Disney, but am pretty sure my kisd would love Disneyland or Disneyworld, and I would like to take them someday. However I will likely wait til they are much older than 5, 3, and 1.

[Storm Bride]

re: "staycations".

I just want to mention something. Vacations of any kind were few and far between when ds1 was little (very little money and no car). If my stepdad didn't own a cottage on a local island, we probably would have taken a total of one vacation from the time ds1 was born until he was about 8 or 9. DS1 did join my sister's family for a few weekend camping trips, though.

One of ds1's favourite memories of his childhood is our "picnics". I used to take ds1 and my nephew out for a walk. We'd take a thermos of hot chocolate, and an apple and a PB&J sandwich each. We'd also take our umbrellas and a large garbage bag each, as it was usually pouring. When we found a nice spot, we'd slip into the garbage bags, and sit down...usually at the side of the creek. We had some lovely picnics with the rain pouring down all around us, while we sat together in our garbage bags under our umbrellas and enjoyed hot chocolate. I added some verses to an "I love ds1" song I started when he was 2, and I also made up an "I love my nephew" song along the same lines. It's one of ds1's favourite memories...no vacation, or even "staycation" necessary...

[Amys1st]

Originally Posted by Jenelle

Amys1st, I was replying in reference to this post in particular, and I was not the only one who thought it was kind of... not helpful.

The people who were following the thread regularly (and the OP in particular) knew where my comment was coming from. I am sorry if you took it wrong because I didn't use the quote function.

Also, if you had read all of my posts, you would most certainly see that I am NOT in favor of the vacation, in any way. I was the one pointing out to her that it would take about 500 years to pay off her credit card if she only paid the minimums.

Got it! I was wondering and then I read the other replies. I want to be helpful in this area and even though I have always been of the frugal mindset, this area has helped me tremondously. I didnt want anyone to think we are looking down on someone who is considering a vacation (which she does need in a way) but needs to dig out of the debt first.

[Fuamami]

Originally Posted by freespirited

One possibility is the Oregon coast

I was going to suggest this, because you might be able to see some whales this time of year! And it's so much less crowded.

Originally Posted by freespirited

I know we're not alone, it's just crazy how every single thing we've done to make money has backfired. I have to wonder if there is something deeper going on. After all this, the only thing I want is to be debt-free and then just save, and saving is a very foreign concept to me so I will have to "learn" how to do that and be comfortable with it, strange as that may sound. I've literally never had a savings account, ever. Lots to learn for me.

You're not alone. This country would not be in the situation it is if you were. Myself and my family included here, not judging!