conference questions

[Rose-Roget]

We have a conference set up with ds's teacher on Monday. He's new to her classroom since the last time they had conferences in October, and the only feedback she gives me when I ask how things are going is still, <pause> "He's very intent on is work." She actually changed conference times from February to April, but dh and I requested one anyway because we'd like more feedback about how he's doing/what he's doing/what her impressions are.

The thing is, she's a person who will not answer a question unless it is directly asked. So I am trying to figure out what specific questions to ask to get specific answers, while working from my limited knowledge of Montessori. Yesterday (Friday), she sent home papers that have 12 CVC or CVCC words listed on one, and a 1-100 number chart on the other, with a little note that "J. did this!" I asked him what he did, and it sounds like basically she sat down with him to do an "assessment." He said he wasn't matching the words to pictures, but that he read them to her. He said he didn't lay the numbers out, but that he read them from the paper. Granted, he's four and I can't jump to conclusions, but I almost had the impression that she did a quick assessment so that she would be able to say something about him on Monday (which seems very anti-Montessori from my understanding).

Can people help me think of some specific questions to ask so I can get a good handle on his development and skills at school - both academically and socially/behaviorally? This is his first year in Montessori, and he's almost 4.5 years old. She makes me so nervous that my mind kind of goes blank.

TIA

[MattBronsil]

A little help - at 4.5, the general thing they worry about (they = the students) is often a social aspect.

So I would begin with that.
--Who are his friends?
--What work does he like to do with them?
--What work does he like to do alone? (You might get a "none...he always tries to do work with ____" response.)

Then I would move into the work. And here's how I'd work through this.

--What work does he like to do?
--Does he understand the process of the work or just the product? (In other words, does he really understand what the work means or does he just know how to get the "right answers?")

Those are the things I try to answer in PT conferences.

[Rose-Roget]

Those are great questions -- thank you, Matt! I really like starting with the friends question. Honestly, I don't know if it's "all" about the friends for him, but I would be really interested to hear if there are kids he works with. Although he talks about different kids at school, he usually tells me he works alone - I don't know if this is because he chooses to be, because working together is discouraged (but I've seen some children working together before), or because certain pairings of people are discouraged. Sometimes he'll tell me that what he did is not a working together work, it's an alone work. If she says he chooses to work alone, is it reasonable of me to ask if she could encourage some partnerings more frequently - or is it best in Montessori to let ds do it the way he wants to?

Those questions are also good springboard questions to lead into other conversation. I'm feeling more comfortable about how to start a dialogue.

Also, if his teacher says, "He is extremely focused on his works," to me again, I will try to get a more clear idea of what her intent is because I can't figure it out.