High-needs babies?

[Starfish11]

Just wondering if we are the only one to find ourselves with a high-needs baby. Evangeline has pretty severe GERD which is the main reason she cries and fusses BUT she needs to be amused constantly. She sleeps through the night but if she's not sleeping she needs to be held and loved and comforted and played with and and and and and....it's exhausting!

Until we were able to get her GERD under control she would cry whenever she was awake I"m hoping the latest combo of meds calm all of this down.

All of this and I still love her to pieces. She did this outrageously cute smile/crinkle whole face thing yesterday and I almost cried it was so gratifying.

[avivaelona]

Dory is maybe a little on the higher needs side...we also got a GERD diagnosis and some pepcid for him. However, compared to my first he's a piece of cake (for one thing he sleeps longer than twenty minutes at a time...it took my first three months to let me sleep for more than maybe an hour and three years to sleep through the night).

Things that helped with Japhy were wearing him as much as possible, trading off with my husband and just hanging in there, even the most difficult of them do eventually grow up. Three months is kind of a watershed too and even though he didn't get easy a lot of things eased up just enough that we could survive it, hang in there because you are getting pretty close to that mark and you may find that it isn't quite as hard.

Also, part of the reason Dory is easier...while I do not recommend just leaving her to cry at all, I have learned that not leaving him to cry is not the same as rushing to pick him up every time he fusses. Pick her up and love her as much as she needs but she will be ok if you put her down to go to the bathroom, even if she fusses or screams for a minute. I think with Japhy we taught him that every fuss was a bit of an emergency because with the GERD it was so easy to worry that every fuss meant he was in pain.

Good luck and hang in there, she sounds like she's charmed you all.

[engineer_mom]

This stage doesn't last forever. And when it is gone, you probably will miss parts of it-like the constant closeness of your babe or feeding it.

*hugs to you*

I wouldn't qualify my babe as high needs, but she definitely qualifies for colic "criteria". Our family has a problem with reflux; she doesn't have GERD or anything that severe.

This week was amazing as I had her on my lap for 20 min and she was content to just sit there - no bouncing, no walking, no jiggling. I was ecstatic! My back still aches from the constant holding/slinging.

Originally Posted by avivaelona

I have learned that not leaving him to cry is not the same as rushing to pick him up every time he fusses. .

This time around we are more aware that babies can actually cry in their sleep (and do alot of fussing). I realized I probably woke my son up from naps and such because I thought he was awake, when he really wanted to sleep more.

[mom2annika]

My first never was diagnosed with any treatable condition, but for a week (I think her 3rd week?) she screamed and screamed and screamed. Nothing could comfort her. We were all exhausted by the 4th or 5th day. I guess she just had colic, or maybe a growth spurt.

Have you got a copy of Dr. Harvey Karp's Happiest Baby on the Block? Sometimes those tricks worked with my older daughter (swaddling, shushing, etc...can't remember all the 5 S's offhand). But other times, nothing helped. I feel your pain!

Don't worry you will develop amnesia. My second babe is so much more mellow...it's fantastic! I know what you mean about the smiles; mine smiled at me today. Sooo cute!

Hang in there! I hope the meds help!

[Starfish11]

Babies really are awesome little creatures b/c I wouldn't change our little girl for the world if given a choice. I mean I do believe she's our sweet joy I just know that she's a handful right now

We do wear her a lot and I love that. Most of the pictures we have of her and me are of her happily in a sling. And I LOVE Karp's book. If nothing else, the 5 s's soothe her brain enough that she stops wailing; she takes it down a notch as soon as she's swaddled and then continues to do better with the other s's. And at first I would not put her down for anything b/c I couldn't take her crying so I learned how to go to the bathroom with a new appendage basically. BUT, as Erika recommends, I did finally just decide that she'd be ok for a few minutes.

I've heard about the three-month mark and we are eagerly awaiting its arrival in 20 days.

Thanks for the encouragement and advice!

[hollycat]

how did you guys diagnose and treat the GERD? my best friends baby is 2 weeks and inconsolable.

[Starfish11]

Evangeline exhibited the following which after researching, I was able to determine was possible reflux. Our pediatrician confirmed it. We've been playing with her meds, too, and she has found relief for the most part.

Back arching when crying and after feeding
inconsolable crying
coughing!
major spitting up
nursing would soothe her (breastmilk is a natural antacid) and then she'd grimace and scream

I also cut the following out of my diet to determine if she was gassy or had reflux:
garlic
onions
dairy
peppers
anything spicy

[BakingMama]

Have you look into possible allergies?
DS (now 3) had a lot of the symptoms you dx as a newborn but also ezcema and allergy ring. After figuring out the foods he was reacting to and taking them out of my diet he was a total different child, this was when he was still young. He was very high needs at the beginning and then turned into a very easy going from then on.
This was also the case with DD born 12/08, including all the symptoms you posted, plus allergy symptoms of eczema, allergy ring, stool issues etc. starting day 2 and has gotten so much better (although still fine tuning the food thing out). She is not high needs now and actual much easier than ds was (will let me put her in the swing when awake and sleeping etc.), crying is much much less and she still has more syptoms than what DS did.
My friend, who also has a highly allergenic child (now 3.5) got dx of GERD when she was small but this was not the case for them. Once she figured out the allergy thing it made all the difference in her daughter.
As a side note, I did not get any help from DS' Dr. when I was first trying to figure things out, she actually diswayed me from trying elimination diets. We found a different Dr. (who we've been with for 2.5 yrs) and he has been very supportive of everything I have done with DS and now DD and actually is interested in learning from me the alternative methods we have used. He's seen that they work and is holistic anyway for a Dr.
While this may not be the case for everyone, in our case it was made all the difference and certainly harder. Just some food for thought-

[Starfish11]

Thanks, Elizabeth. I have eliminated from my diet: dairy, peppers, garlic, anything spicy, legumes, and caffeine. Aye yay yay. As a vegetarian my food options are becoming seriously limited.

That stinks about your ped. being unsupportive! I am so pleased with ours as he calls us to keep account/up to date on what is going on with Evangeline.