Boundaries for Toys...

[jaidymama]

So what do you do? What works? What doesn't?

We have a toy room off the kitchen where 99% of the toys are kept. However, my son will follow us around carrying whatever he has at the time. He will gravitate to where I am. This a.m. while having a conversation in bed with dh, my son managed to pack up trains and track and set them up by the bed. Or when eh's playing he will adventure out of the toy zone into the rest of the house.

I do not mind that he plays all over, it's his house too. The catch is he leaves his toys everywhere... then they are lost. I cannot keep track of them for him, and am trying to find ways to simplify it for him. It already feels like a struggle somewhat to place boundaries where little existed.

Where are your toys, and how do you keep them there... Or how do you handle lost or strewn toys.

[jaidymama]

Ok, really 20 something looks and no one has any suggestions? I guess maybe we all wonder how to manage all those things our kids have. I have tried to get him to pick some he doesn't love, but he loves them all.

So how can I gently and respectfully collaborate with child to manage toy situation...

[ja mama]

I don't know how old your ds is so it's hard to make suggestions. Perhaps a small station of toys in several rooms, or a basket of books so that he has options to be able to play near you. The bigger sets of toys could stay in the play room maybe? Would something like that work for you?

[ChetMC]

What We Do

Generally, I don't like playrooms. At their least problematic, it's too many toys in one place and it's overwhelming. At their worst, they ghettoize children in their own home.

What we've done is to have a very small play area in each room. This has worked well for us. No single room looks like a daycare, but each room has something the kids can enjoy as they follow DH and I around the house. Also, no single toy needs to go far in a quick clean to get to a toy area.

Mainly, the key for us is to not have too many toys. I find that difficulty organizing and managing toys is a function of volume more than anything else.

For toys with a million pieces, some of those are on a rotation. When they come out they're special and get a lot of attention, and then I gather up all of the pieces and pack them away until they're special again. Also, it helps to not have toys that have lots of pieces in the same place. Trains, blocks, puzzles, dolls, and play food all mixed together is one giant mess.

[karen ann]

My son is 8 and has Asperger Syndrome and this is a real challenge for us too. What seems to be working fairly well at the moment is anything not picked up by bedtime is packed away for a bit. I give him warnings every 10 minutes or so starting about 1/2 hour-45 minutes before bedtime, and anything still there when he's getting in his pjs/teeth brushing, etc., I put in a bin in my closet. When I give the first warning, I remind him about things he's left out in other rooms so he has the chance to get those tidied as well. He has one bin in the living room, a tool bench with shelving in the family room, and several large rubber bins in his bedroom to store things in. Every couple of weeks we do a clear out of one area (I work alternate weekends). He can participate or not, but if he chooses not to, I am less sentimental and will throw out things that are broken/missing pieces/soiled that he would want to keep if he were helping.

Need to get DS off to bed now so have to stop now. Good luck!

[LynnS6]

Maybe I'm just lacksidasical, but I've just become resigned to having toys around.

Not until our kids reached about 4 were they actually HELPFUL in putting things away. That being said, we've always had "pick up time" as part of the bedtime routine. That meant us doing a lot of it, and them doing some. We're getting to the point where things are looking better because they don't take every blasted toy out and they do help put things away.

But they don't like to play away from us (they're 7 and 4), and there are projects that sometimes take up a lot of space. They like to build train tracks that go all around the house - from the living room to the dining room to the kitchen into the hall and back to the living room. We've developed a few rules - I have to be able to open the fridge, the stove and the front hall closet. That means no bridges/tunnels in those places. I instituted the rule that there couldn't be bridges/tunnels between the stove and the sink either because I kept tripping. Sometimes they leave this up a day or two.

Kids = clutter. It's not worth the effort for me to be completely anal about it.

[jaidymama]

I think part of my issue is that we haven't really had any boundaries with this yet. It's kind of been a free for all, and I've wanted to have it easier to figure out. Right now he's 4 1/2 so perfectly able to pick things up. What I'm noticing is that toys are getting lost and broken because they are abandoned all over the house. He has just dropped what he's doing one moment and went on to the next leaving the other stuff behind where it lay. I think I do this to some extent. So as a family we are all working on finishing what we start and picking up after ourselves more.

I don't mind some clutter, but it just adds to more and more layers. Although surprisingly the last few nights after dinner he has reminded us that it's clean up time... So maybe I'm making more progress than I realize.

I see though that as he gets older the pieces/toys start getting smaller, and right now if we're already losing those things... I just wonder what we'll do about that. For instance right now we have something that constructs cars out of wooden screws and planks, etc. There are 124 pieces... Once the car gets made he's driven it all over the house, only I keep finding parts and pieces here and there. If we lose a piece then we won't be able to build the other items.

I think he's a little too young to fully understand this, and I'm not set on altering his play ... which is why I do prefer that he plays with some things in a designated area. Plus this keeps the clean up easier. One thing I also noticed is that once he had to pick up all the toys by himself (we didn't rush him, just let him put things away). I think it made an impression on him that if he gets everything out in a whirlwind it takes a while to clean up... so I think it has curtailed a little bit of that tornado affect.

I think I will try putting baskets in a few other rooms... but the kid moves around so much who knows how it will work out for him.

[Nolamom]

I had (and still have to a certain extent...) the same problem as you. A couple of things have helped.

Definite clean up times - we all pick up for 5-10 minutes at least once a day and everyone helps. I find that even my 5 year old still has trouble remembering on her own.

You might already be totally organized, but this has been the biggie for us. I purchased several shelves with fabric baskets that fit into them and lots of other baskets and containers. Each toy has a spot now, instead of the chaos that ruled before. Ds's cars have a basket, dd's stuffed animals go in another, little people figures, cars in another. It's really simplified things. Some baskets are around our house (I even bought a couple to match the living room decor,) but mostly they're in the kids rooms. Organization has helped us immensely.

[henny penny]

Originally Posted by ChetMC

Generally, I don't like playrooms. At their least problematic, it's too many toys in one place and it's overwhelming. At their worst, they ghettoize children in their own home.

What we've done is to have a very small play area in each room. This has worked well for us. No single room looks like a daycare, but each room has something the kids can enjoy as they follow DH and I around the house. Also, no single toy needs to go far in a quick clean to get to a toy area.

Mainly, the key for us is to not have too many toys. I find that difficulty organizing and managing toys is a function of volume more than anything else.

For toys with a million pieces, some of those are on a rotation. When they come out they're special and get a lot of attention, and then I gather up all of the pieces and pack them away until they're special again. Also, it helps to not have toys that have lots of pieces in the same place. Trains, blocks, puzzles, dolls, and play food all mixed together is one giant mess.

: I agree with the thoughts on a segregated playroom. I like to have ds enjoying our company wherever we are in the house instead of playing in a room by himself.
We do pretty much as Chet does. We have a whole cupboard with shelves and baskets dedicated to ds playthings in our main living area and then wire baskets in almost every other room where the stray toys can find a home. It's easy to periodically take the basket back to the cupboard and sort toys into the proper spot on the shelves. I also edit ds's toys frequently to put away things he's gotten tired of or that he no longer plays with at all.

[lucyem]

In our old home all toys were in the open concept living area. No matter where we were the toys were right there. I hate open concept. We had a small basement play area but that was when I was downstairs too.

We just moved 2 months ago. Presently the base for all toys is in the tv room downstairs and their bedroom upstairs. Upstairs toys pretty much stay in their room but downstairs the toys migrate into the living room & kitchen. I am trying to decide where to put a small bin in the kitchen as a place to throw toys for a quick clean up. The living room on the other hand I want toy free and we have daily pickups to move stuff back into the tv room.

Because my boys are 6 & 3 we have certain places for certain toys. Not just storage but play area. That seems to help some. For example my older son has to keep his playmobil stuff under his loft bed. He has a mat on the floor there and the edges of the frame for the bed keep the little stuff contained. If he wants to play playmobil he goes up there to play. Lately he has been bugging me to allow him a corner of the dining room for a similar lego area. A place where legos can be set up and left for play.

[Blooming]

I've downsized my kiddos toys so that they only have a few options. This seems to help on a lot of levels. The kids aren't fighting as much, they are more focused and more comfortable in their enviroment.

I will say that I didn't get rid of anything, I just put it in storage so that when we need to freshen things up we can.

[Aubergine68]

Originally Posted by jaidymama

I.

I see though that as he gets older the pieces/toys start getting smaller, and right now if we're already losing those things... I just wonder what we'll do about that. For instance right now we have something that constructs cars out of wooden screws and planks, etcl8e66ku\
. There are 124 pieces... Once the car gets made he's driven it all over the house, only I keep finding parts and pieces here and there. If we lose a piece then we won't be able to build the other items.

I think he's a little too young to fully understand this, and I'm not set on altering his play ... which is why I do prefer that he plays with some things in a designated area. Plus this keeps the clean up easier. One thing I also noticed is that once he had to pick up all the toys by himself (we didn't rush him, just let him put things away). I think it made an impression on him that if he gets everything out in a whirlwind it takes a while to clean up... so I think it has curtailed a little bit of that tornado affect.
.

We have a lot of boundaries on toys here, but a lot of that is because we have to keep living areas safe for toddlers and babies (I do home childcare, and my own children are 10, almost 5 and 2).

I have always enforced "you put those toys away before you get out another basket." -- but I also have a basket or two in the playroom and in the living room for odds and ends, because sometimes you want to keep some of the toy cars out to stir around in the cookpot, or whatever.

We also limit small piece toys to the kitchen table, the top of ds's loft bed, or in the playroom in the afternoon when babies are sleeping (but they have to be TOTALLY put away when naptime ends). I have a couple of rubbermaid box lids for lego creations, etc. and I put them on top of the fridge if ds wants to keep them for later.

We have rules like no riding toys or pushing toys upstairs (too much traffic, and I worry that someone will leave the gate open and we'll have a bad fall down the stairs someday.) And I have no problem with saying "the toy food stays with the toy kitchen, please" or "the magnadoodle is a downstairs toy this week!" I have up to 6 kids in my home every day, and my life is a constant battle against overwhelming chaos

We keep a lot of toys in storage and rotate them so there isn't too much out at one time.

Toys like games, puzzles with more than 20 pieces, craft kits and the kind of car-building kit would be kitchen-table toys, to be played with carefully. I point out to the kids that if they wander all over the house with these kinds of toys, pieces will become lost and the toys will turn into garbage.

I feel that my 4.5 yr old is old enough to play with more complicated toys, but not quite old enough to take care of them by himself, so it is my job to help him learn how.

I have been limiting the kinds of toys that come into our house, too. I have decided we are going heavy on the lego and schliech/papo figures, but we are not doing Playmobil, appealing as it is. My son can play with those at someone else's house and his friends can come over here and play with his extensive collection of what he is interested in.

[Elijah's Mom]

We do it three ways:

1) The vast majority of their toys are downstairs in their play area/bed room. It is a huge space with couches and chairs and DH and i also spend a lot of time (playing with them and doing our own thing, both) - they are sometimes downstairs playing happily in "their own space" together (and sometimes wanting us to leave!) and equally often, we are down there playing with them. In this area, toys are stored in consistent places all the time (on shelves and bins). Then, for clean up, we have two designated times (and we turn on music and take part in the clean up) ... before lunch on weekends and after dinner. The room gets quite "messy" (I like to think of them more as projects), but since it is such a consistent routine and things go in reliable places, clean up is not an issue most of the time.

2) Upstairs, we have kitchen table toys (play dough, crayons, paper) that they use if they want to be near us while we are cooking. These we all just put away casually when we are done.

3) We have an upstairs living room with our stereo -- which also has a basket of books. Here, the kids are totally free to play and totally free to *bring up* toys, but our rule is that in this room, we clean up when we are finished. We want to have one space that is not filled with as much toy clutter and can be reliably "neat" more times than not. Usually, this room has a few dolls on the floor, books on the couch and pillows from a left over fort on the floor. That counts as "reliably" neat and not an issue to clean up. Easy and fast.

Becca

[limabean]

I wouldn't choose to have the toys so constrained like that, but if that's how you want to do it, then put a bin in each room. Before leaving the room, do a sweep of it for toys and put them all in the bin (you can make a game of this with him or something to make it easier). Then once a day, once a week, or however often you choose, take all the bins back to the toy room.

[phathui5]

We've given the kids the second floor of the house, for bedrooms, toys, Legos, etc. As long as it stays reasonably neat, they can play with whatever wherever up there. Because I do childcare, we also have a large playroom on the first floor set up with different sections for different themes (dress ups, play kitchen, road mat/cars, train table).

I don't allow toys in the living room, dining room, kitchen or my bedroom (except for the big ride on toys, the playroom doesn't have enough room to drive).

I disagree that having a designated toy area "ghettoizes" the children or sticks them somewhere all by themselves, but then there are always a lot of kids here and we have to be more organized to not have the house get trashed.

The rooms here each have their own purpose and it helps keep a peaceful atmosphere. The living room is for reading, resting, visiting. The dining room is for eating and schoolwork. The kitchen is for cooking. The adult (+baby, +occasional 3yo) bedroom is designed and decorated to be a restful place for dh and myself. Toys on the floor don't help me relax.

[limabean]

Originally Posted by phathui5

Toys on the floor don't help me relax.

Same here, but I don't think anyone is saying the toys have to live in every room. We don't keep toys in our bedroom, but if I'm going to spend half an hour putting laundry away and straightening up the bedroom, my DS is going to want to be with me and will want to bring some of his toys into my room, which is totally fine with me as long as they get put back in his room when we're through in there.

[_betsy_]

We have a small house, and the kitchen, for many reasons, is off limits to DD unless she's supervised, so it's gated off (The cats need to be able to eat in peace).

Anyway, we're in a 2-bedroom, one level condo. DD's toys are in the living room. Pretty much all in one corner, though she can play where she wants. Except for my and DH's bedroom. No toys in my room is the rule. I just can't deal with getting out of bed and having field full of toy landmines awaiting me. It's just easier for everyone. DD is 28 months and so far this rule has been the one house rule she's really been able to easily understand and obey.

[karemore]

Dd wants to play wherever we are, which is understandable. She's allowed to keep one big toy or set of toys in the living room, doll house, play kitchen, legos etc, and we rotate that one big thing whenever she asks.

If she has her doll house out, it can be left as is through the day, but at bathtime, the pieces all have to be put in the basket next to the house, same with legos, play kitchen food whatever.

In addition she is allowed to have one set of toys out in her room, but same goes ...at bathtime that mess gets cleaned up.

If she wants to change what she's playing during the day it's fine, but the first set of toys gets put away.

We did this from the start, it seemed a little OCD on my part when she was younger, but it paid off big time. She doesn't argue she doesn't complain, she just knows this is the way we do it.

We never have to worry about lost pieces, missing toys etc.

Anywhere else she brings toys, the kitchen my room etc, the toys must cleaned up when she's done.

Toys with small pieces, puzzles, games etc are kept on a high shelf. All she has to do is ask, and she can have anything down. She knows it has to be cleaned up before she gets anything else down.

Stuff that is kept at her reach is all easy to clean up. I have baskets and crates for easy cleanup.

I helped her for a long time, but now she is fine cleaning up almost all her toys.

Oh, books have to be put back on the shelf or basket they came from, and crayons, markers,scissors, and glue are only allowed on her little work table, or the dining room table and they always get put back where they are stored (she can reach).