Forgive me for taking over the thread, but my kids are busy creating magic marker creations, I type fast, and I love to girltalk. So here goes:
Is anyone else online dating?
Is it just me and rubelin?
Still just the three men from a Finnish dating or chatting site, but I was just wanting to hear about you guys & internet dating.
Tripleaces, you met your wonderful man online, right?
Questions for online daters, to help me know if I'm doing it the same as you all and if anyone here is thinking of online dating, to have an idea for how it goes:
1. How much info about yourself do you share right off the bat?
2. How far into the email correspondence do you discuss your split from DC's Dad, and the fact that you have kids at all?
3. Do you guys do some 'chatting' asap, and/or phone calls....and how many times back and forth before suggesting a face-to-face meeting?
4. Do you guys go proactive and make initial contacts (or like me, dozens in a go, just to play the numbers) and do you narrow things down to one, three, or ten in a given week or two in terms of who you are interested in maybe meeting. When it gets to actual face-to-face meetings, do you juggle several 'first date' guys before deciding who you might actually give a crap about?
5. At what point do you narrow your attention down to just one guy that you think seems very viable?
6. Do you guys have tests that you consciously or subconsciously give to men? i.e. I'm not sure how to put my finger on it, but how they react to the fact that I have two small children really either endears me to them, or puts me off entirely and forever. A friend of mine yesterday recommended various ways of innocently testing a man's self-esteem to make sure he has a healthy self-confidence. I never thought of consciously setting 'traps' before, but it does seem like the sooner you can trip the wire and get those red flags to pop up and know you should run far far away, the better. Maybe?
7. Do you guys have better luck with online dating sites with profiles you can search and post of yourself, or chat rooms for your local area where you can just start up chatting with others and see who seems cool...? Is this prohibitive in the US because there wouldn't just be *one* site where people in your area congregate to? Here in Finland there is pretty much just one site that everyone goes to, for chatting or discussion or online dating, so it helps to sort of corral everyone into one spot, and I find myself just as frequently meeting people in chat rooms that I end up being interested in potentially meeting, vs. finding someone (or being found from) the dating profile section of the website.
Ken Doll knew very little about me from the dating site before meeting, but he certainly got the whole shebang over sushi. Second date.....? Is it gonna happen.....? He's such a Mr. Gorgeous Hot Shot Impressive Career man who makes great money, has a bright future, and excels at half a dozen sports in his spare time, kind of the ideal 'catch' for so many women, that I sort of wonder what on earth he *would* be thinking if he'd wanna get mired down with me and my drama when he could have anyone. Let's see.
Bald & Muscular met me in a chat room many weeks ago and we chatted about other topics on several different occasions, and when I told him I wasn't interested in him in terms of dating (I was head over heels for guy in Brussels at the time), he was so cool about saying that he would just like to be chat friends, then, no problem on the no-interest-in-dating thing. He still doesn't know that I am now considering him 'in the running' and I plan on keeping it that way (to avoid rejecting him twice) until I meet him face-to-face and decide if I can handle that he is not uber-tall/slim/nerdy/effeminate/glasses-wearing because apparently that's what does it for me.
but...... I'd really like to shake such a specific 'type' off my libido!
It's stupid and superficial. But anyway, when I slowly let him in on info about my kids, he handled it really well, and I liked his reactions to each piece of my personal story that I let him in on. I'm not sure I am impressed or put off that he is an entrepreneur, though. BTDT and being with one is shitty. But 28 and running his own business is definitely at least a little impressive. He's such a man
, in the most positive connotations of that word, meaning: strength, confidence, honest, direct, pro-active. I think someone like that would be perfect to have by my side, long term.
Amnesty Guy met me in a chat room, and I let him in on my kids stuff right away and he seemed really enthusiastic about it. He has neices the same age whom he loves to dress up as Santa for at Christmas time, visit as much as possible, and has been named godfather of those daugthers of his older brother, apparently.
Kid-enthusiastic is sweet, and bodes well to him not being just a Peter-Pan and fun-in-the-moment (but not much for real 'life') type. His masters in English Philology is sort of.... well, it's just disconcerting that this Finnish man speaks and writes with more eloquent English than I do. But his accent/voice is musical to my ears, so that's a plus.
He works in administration at a University, and somehow I wonder he has much ambition, if that's what such an intelligent man is doing at age 31 (and I haven't heard of any rush to branch into something more meaty/interesting/challenging), but I have no idea of his future plans so I'll slowly learn about that. He definitely strikes me as very sensitive, kind, romantic, and emotionally available, but I wonder if his inner insecurity and less-than-ambitiousness will undermine my ability to respect him and lust for him. Hmmm....food for thought.
I guess I need another quarter man....
Whatever that means.