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February dating thread!! - Page 5

post #81 of 134
Thread Starter 
Originally Posted by Butterflymom View Post

Please do copy/paste them.
I'll do it when I get back in town, I am heading for NYC with my sweetie

It is going to be so nice, a whole 3 days together, just us, with no responsibilities
post #82 of 134
Butterflymom.. reading your posts are very entertaining. Not sure which one I'm rooting for yet.

Congrats Holland, what a niiiiiice gift!

Have fun in NYC BelovedK!!

post #83 of 134
oooh, we can't let this thread fall off the front page, girls!! What is everyone planning for Valentine's Day?? It's not a holiday that I care about but one of the guys I'm seeing is taking me to see "Some Like It Hot" at the vintage theatre he manages. Should be fun

I did a release meditation for my vanished guy the other day. Whenever he comes into my mind, I let him go again and think of other things. My soulmate is out there and I am through wasting time and emotion on someone who is not him.
post #84 of 134
Oooh, i like the release meditation thought. Yesterday had a bit of a relapse on the whole couple-weeks-without-bursting-into-tears-missing-him-so-bad thing, and had a good cry. Those can be good sometimes. : And now I will start releasing thoughts of him before they go so deep that the sobs come out.

Saw new photos of Bald & Muscular and can safely now say that he is really NOT in the running. Just for sure not a guy I would ever be attracted to, unfortunately for everyone. But we have established a nice platonic friendship and I like that, and he's not even in Finland right now to worry about hurting his feelings --he's never met me face to face.

Anyway, the date with Amnesty Guy looms on the horizon for V-day tomorrow. He hasn't been in touch with me all week, and now I feel a call to confirm that we are still on for tomorrow would be in order. Wouldn't it?? I don't like him assuming that it would be, when we never even said a time/place to meet or anything. I hope he calls today to confirm and doesn't wait until the last moment tomorrow to let me know what his estimated time of arrival into Helsinki is.
post #85 of 134
Originally Posted by rubelin View Post
My soulmate is out there and I am through wasting time and emotion on someone who is not him.
Very wise of you! I know when I've nursed a broken heart that it helped me realize that pining away for this other guy was just keeping me further away from someone who woudl really rock my world!
post #86 of 134
Good for you, rubelin! I've been trying to meditate more in general to keep myself centered, filter out all the negative energy around, I really like that idea.

I'm not doing anything with my boy for Valentine's, though he did get me some flowers, in a pot, since I told him I didn't like flowers that die.
post #87 of 134
Although i am not dating another right now, just myself, i am doing a Valentine's tea with my kiddos and a few friends and their kiddo's. We are making heart cookies and cherry tea and i think i may do some heart shaped quiches to absorb some of the sugar the kids will be eating. I'm 5 some months pregnant and super busy with school! No word from the dad of the babe. I see him every day but no contact. Whatever. Anyhow i still need a birth partner, anyone near NorCal want to come visit and help :
post #88 of 134
Originally Posted by tripleaces View Post
I'm not doing anything with my boy for Valentine's, though he did get me some flowers, in a pot, since I told him I didn't like flowers that die.

Amnesty Guy broke his vow of silence and sent me a virtual math-oriented Valentine's card that shows he remembers I studied math at university. It was really clever and thoughtful. I was worried he wouldn't even bother to confirm our date tomorrow, due to the whole vow of silence thing. We spent 2 hours on chat followed by 1 on the phone tonight, and it was nice. I simply love the way his voice sounds (I hadn't heard it in a week--I almost forgot!!).

Avani, I can't imagine what it must be like for you these days, but you sound so positive and grounded and just awe-inspiring. Check in often. We love you!

You all want a funny V-day-date-preparatory story? I decided to do my own highlights in my bathroom, and those turned out fine, although perhaps a tad blonder and brassier than I would consider ideal (only I would find such nuances noticable, but now I am wanting to find some of that purple shampoo to tone down the yellow tones to make it perfect). Then...... *sigh* I had hard wax and decided to wax my bikini area *ahem* in prep for Amnesty Guy's saturday night date with me. I put the hard wax in water in a big pot and set it to boil, and walked away. Ooooh, big mistake. An hour later I smell smoke and remember what I had done. The stuff was smoking (apparently the wax isn't flammable or maybe no fire because the lid was on the pot? I never looked inside) so I set it in my window and shut off my kitchen from the rest of the house with the window open, and my kitchen was fine in no time. The fire department came knocking at my door because the hallway had filled with smoke, elsewhere in the building. : Oh, Jeez. I felt like such an idiot for letting my bikini-area-wax melt, container and all, on the stove top. Doh! Then yesterday, I got cold-sugar-wax strips to do the area, and when I pulled off one the skin was too loose and it totally bruised the skin dark purple like a garden of hickeys! : Shit! This isn't more attractive than hair. :

Then, today, I started AF heavily, as if the goddess of the earth (plus my own klutziness/accident-prone-ness) was telling me herself that maybe I should consider not putting out on the first date. God, I'm going to have to remember the value of making out! :
post #89 of 134
LOL! The first time I hung out with the guy I'm currently seeing I was on the tail end of my period...so didn't do it that night. But....the following morning...

ETA: it wasn't the first time I met him...but the first time I had him over to my house
post #90 of 134

But yeah.. maybe.
post #91 of 134
So Amnesty Guy comes over and I cook dinner for him, and things seem to be sparking between us relatively well, I like him, he seems to like me.... we sit on the couch and after awhile of making conversation we start 'making out.' I'm thinking...... eh. he's not a great kisser. It's not crazy passion, but it's not awful. And, um, he's not.....*ahem* obviously into me in that way that a man should be when he's making out with a woman who he's attracted to. We end up just snuggling, and going to bed and snuggling, and talking through the night, and in the morning he gets up to freshen up and I ask if he has much time and he says yes so I ask him back to bed for more lounging and talking and snuggling. I'm thinking that it's just not....that hot between us..... but i like him and i'm thinking maybe it can grow and his circulation will *ahem* improve... and we have breakfast and then he explains that he didn't feel a spark for me, and was so nervous about telling me that that he was awake all night, unable to sleep. Poor him for stressing out telling me that, thinking that it would be really hard for me to hear or something. And poor me, for hearing that someone's not 'into me' even though I am certainly not heartbroken about it because i wasn't sure I was into him either! But still hard to hear when someone just isn't feeling a 'spark' for you when you would have wanted there to be a spark there. I didn't feel it for him either, but I was thinking maybe it was because i was just comparing him to vanising-guy-in-Brussels, with whom I had the instantaneous earth shattering kind of passion with, and I figured I would lower my expectations on the lust-front, and just wait and see if it rose to a simmer or stayed kind of lukewarm. Apparently he's done and one date is enough.

I wish, if he would have realized it while we were making out, that he would have left, and not slept over. He had another place to go stay, so it would have been nice if he would have just left and emailed it to me instead of telling me to my face so I would have to do the awkward what-sort-of-facial-expression-do-I-wear sort of thing in front of him.... ugh.

Ken Doll really wants to see me again but has had a really high fever and flu keeping him indoors for the last week. He wished me a Happy Valentine's Day and told me he wished he could have planned a long get together this weekend, but he was staying in bed. Ironic, that it seems that the one that just wasn't into me, actually is pretty into me, maybe, and the one that seemed WAY TOO INTO me before meeting me face to face, actually isn't into me at all. You can never predict this stuff, can you? Men.

vanishing-guy-in-Brussels sends me Happy Valentine's text messages and a long email telling me that I was on his mind all day. God, would the guy that I'm in love and who is apparently still hanging onto being in love wtih me just drop off the face of the earth and leave me be???? Please? How am I supposed to get over him when I can hear in his voice when he calls and I can see through the pathetic words he writes me that he dates no other and thinks very much of me and isn't able to get over me any easier than I am able to get over him??? It's like.... fingernails on a chalkboard to know that. I've begged him to just tell me that he's 'not into me' anymore to make it easier for me, and he sadly comments that he tries to convince himself every day that he wouldn't be ('cus it would be way easier on him too if he could stop being in love with me), but his self doesn't believe it for a second, and he continues to think of me and miss me.
What good is it to be in love if you can't find a way to be together? No good at all. He's weak, hopeless, useless. Need to remember that--that his feelings for me are useless. He will always be a 'vanishing guy' in & out of my life unless I pull the plug and cut ties and forget about him and just let him stay OUT and leave me in peace. So I don't respond to his texts or emails this week. Let's see how long I last. I hope Ken Doll heals and brings his Adonis beauty over here and give me a kiss and see if there's any spark there. Needin' some romance....

Any of you other single ladies with no special someone in the picture also feeling pretty hard up for a good dose of...... romance? passion? I'm wishing, right about now, I at least had a friends-with-benefits to call on....
post #92 of 134
Butterfly: Weird how life turns out sometimes huh? I would have thought there would be something with you and the amnesty guy.. but well. Good to hear Ken-doll is back in the game at least! Also nice to know I'm not the only one who doesnt mind jumping into bed the first evening

Tripleaces : How funny - I never much cared about flowers that die either. Always kind of thought it was a waste of money.. I did like getting a bunch from my guy though - thought it was really sweet

Grisandole: Sounds like a great date you had there! So its the real thing?

Avani: You sound happy? I hope things are good for you these days. More than half way through your pregnancy - crazy how time flies when you are not actually pregnant - I remember feeling like each of my pregnancies lasted FOREVER! If I was close by I'd love to come help out at birth. I have done some doula studies with CBI but never finished them - anyway flying in from Europe wouldnt really be an option anyway. I hope you find someone to help out and be a positive presence around you

Beloved: How was your trip? Tell please tell!!

Here I finally met up with my guy at his place after a veeeery long wait. Its been three weeks since we had alone-time together and it did feel a bit weird. It does seem to affect me and my feelings for him to have to wait that much. I did feel like I cooled down a bit expectation-wise (can you even say that?) I still think he is awesome - its just - it has hurt me pretty much not feeling like a huge priority of his in the past weeks. I had planned to bring up the subject, but as usual he was so sweet I thought I would rather let it rest. Hopefully we are meeting up again next week, and I can bring it up without sounding too demanding.. I really dont wanna be the clingy, demanding type so early kwim? He has still given me no reason to believe he isnt serious. I told him in no uncertain terms that I am in for the long, lasting relationship, and that if I sense he isnt then I wont be wasting my time, and he seems to know this already and he is still around. Also I dont think he has ever been in a non-serious relationship so I guess I should just give him a rest and respect that he just really does need more time..??
On the more - intimate .. I have - ahem - quite a bit of experience in that area.. but oh dear - this guy is an artist! As in - you know how many people can do something well - but only very few people are truely artists.. This guy is .. and IME they are pretty darned rare - in fact I dont think I ever met one before.. I feel lucky - very lucky indeed
post #93 of 134
Perhaps it's time to re-evaluate your relationship. If this guy's not able to make more time for you now, this is a good predictor of the future too. It may be time to ask yourself questions like, "Is this enough for me?" "Is this the kind of commitment I really want?" "Am I okay with someone who is this busy?"

For some of us, it would be enough and that's okay. For some of us, it wouldn't be enough and that's okay.

He's letting you know, right now, the order of his priorities and barring any unforeseeable event, he's not likely going to change those priorities. I know women who are married to men like this and have a *family*...but the man works 70+ hours a week and she's really doing most of it alone. Is that really what you're looking for in a partner?

I firmly believe a relationship should be an addition to our lives, not something added to create our lives. I believe we get to choose what kind of relationship we really want. I know some really amazing, incredible men and though I may love them in different ways, they aren't quite what I want...so I'm willing to keep looking and find the fit that's best for me and my family.

I'm not suggesting you should or should not be with this man...just that it may be time for some reflection based on what's happening and how you've been feeling about it all.
post #94 of 134
Just returned from my Anniversary/Valentine's Day weekend away with bf.

All I can say is:



post #95 of 134
Originally Posted by MsChatsAlot View Post

It may be time to ask yourself questions like, "Is this enough for me?" "Is this the kind of commitment I really want?" "Am I okay with someone who is this busy?"

If this guy's not able to make more time for you now, this is a good predictor of the future too. He's letting you know, right now, the order of his priorities and barring any unforeseeable event, he's not likely going to change those priorities.

For some of us, it would be enough and that's okay. For some of us, it wouldn't be enough and that's okay.

MCA's words bear repeating. Perhaps it is time to start asking yourself these questions.

You need to do what feels right for YOU and what you are wanting. This guy is being very clear and honest about who he is, what he wants and what are his priorities, which is, imo, a blessing for you. He is not hiding anything from you or giving you any false pretenses, which gives you the opportunity to really make an informed decision based on what YOU want in a partner.

It is fine to want more than this man can give you. It is just not good to expect it from someone that is not able, willing and wanting to give it to you in return. It is not fair to you or him.
post #96 of 134
Thread Starter 
Holland, that is great : Do elaborate when you are ready

Our trip was fabulous too I keep growing more in love with each hurdle I go over and am always so glad I stuck it out during my 'freak out' times.
post #97 of 134
I love keeping up with everyone's relationships and dating!!

Butterflymom, that's surprising about Amnesty guy but that DOES happen esp when things begin online and it's good you found out sooner (even if he did spend the night) than later. Good luck with Ken doll.

I kind of agree, Seie, that you gotta do what's right for you... I know you love the guy but if things are always going to be this way and if it's going to continue to hurt you, I just think it might be time to think about that (not that you haven't). Or maybe just continue to fulfill your life in other ways. I don't really know.

Holland, BelovedK, glad your trips were great!!!

I have the kids this weekend (today, too, and it's raining and they're sick ugh!) but so.. the kids met my guy. I know it's soon but I really don't see him leaving my life anytime soon and it was just a very casual 15 minutes as he came by to drop off the roses since I had left them at his house and also brought some cookies. It went fine, obviously a bit awkward as neither of us have done this before. He's very good with kids, though and afterwards my oldest said he was very nice. And it was nice to break the ice, so to speak. I miss him so much, the whole weeks away are hard sometimes. But it's really good. :
post #98 of 134
Originally Posted by BelovedK View Post
Holland, that is great : Do elaborate when you are ready

Ok, well on Friday, we checked into our awesome hotel, he gave me a surprise, early Vday gift (he bought me lingerie!!! I couldn't believe it! AND... it fit beautifully and was flattering on my body.), then we went to this great Indian restaurant called Amber.

On Saturday, we woke up and went to the Farmer's Market at the Ferry building. Afterwards, we went the Legion of Honor. I was a bit disappointed in the museum, mostly because I am more accustomed to the big European museums. But, it was still fun.

After the Legion of Honor, we drove through Golden Gate Park and Sea Cliff. We then proceeded to stopp in Haight-Ashbury for some fun window shopping.

We then returned to the hotel to get changed for dinner at Maya. It was an awesome dinner.

On Sunday, we spent the day at the new California Academy of Sciences. It was packed with people, but we had a great time together looking and discussing the exhibits.

After the Academy, we returned home.

It was just an absolutely amazing weekend.

NOW... this week, his parents are in town from Wed-Mon. They are coming over to my place for dinner one night and they want to take us (ds and I) out for dinner one night. Should be another busy weekend!
post #99 of 134
Originally Posted by BelovedK View Post

Our trip was fabulous too
Now, I think you need to spill some details about your trip.

I love NYC. Bf and I were just talking about taking ds there soon. We (bf and I) have both lived there and love the city.

Originally Posted by BelovedK View Post
I keep growing more in love with each hurdle I go over and am always so glad I stuck it out during my 'freak out' times.
This is a GREAT sign, Kelly!

Bf and I have gone over a few hurdles also and each hurdle just keeps adding more depth and security in our relationship. It is an awesome feeling... afterwards, of course.
post #100 of 134
: I love : reading about your guys' romance. Holland and Beloved, your weekends sound great and tripleaces, your budding and flowering romance sounds just amazing. :

Robin, how are you doing on the meditating-to-forget-vanishing-guy thing? My progress could be better , could be worse. There are other guys out there, there are other guys out there, better guys out there (mantra mantra mantra).

I am going out with another single mom tonight, out dancing on the town, just for fun. Can't wait.

Vanishing-guy-in-Brussels called two nights ago to gab for a couple of hours and I stupidly answered and melted at the sound of his voice and we giggled and had a great time on the phone, and of course I needed to cry into my pillow after we hung up. Ken Doll is quiet. B & M is still outta the running and in Barcelona, Amnesty Guy has firmly stepped away from the picture (good riddance). : I guess it's time to get some new contenders.... I am brushing off the red lipstick and black femme-fatale clothes tonight and my gal-pal and I are hitting the town!
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