Do you often cringe at other's parenting? - Page 6

[AntoninBeGonin]

Originally Posted by lilmissimpatient@c

Occasionally, yes.

A few weeks ago we were in the waiting room for the pediatrician, and a little boy probably about 7 or 8, who was clearly really not feeling well. He had on a sweatshirt over a turtleneck, and kept taking the sweatshirt on and off and on and off and on and off as people would come in, and wind would blow in, or he'd get flushed and sweaty from being sick. His mother was on her cell phone the whole time, and kept pausing in her conversation (about sales at some shoe store!) to scream at him for not sitting still. Finally she grabbed him and told whoever she was on the phone with that she had to "take him into the bathroom to teach him a lesson."

I just shot her the look of death and loudly made a snarky comment about how I hate when parents use threats of physical harm to bully children.


Not one of my finer moments, but I really felt for that little boy.

What are you talking about, not one of your finer moments? I think you deserve a medal! That woman was totally in the wrong. I hope she got so embarrassed for being called on her abusive actions in front of all the other patients in the waiting room that she just slumped back into her chair and didn't say a word the rest of the visit. Little kids need more advocates like you to stand up for them. Way to go! :

[AntoninBeGonin]

Originally Posted by Tigerchild

No, but only because I've been around long enough to have made plenty of mistakes myself. Frankly, the longer I've been a parent and the more I've had to deal with, the more compassion I have for other parents.

Too bad I find it more difficult to apply that compassion to myself.

I'm the total opposite. I used to get along with everybody. Now I hate most people that I see in public with kids because most of them are mainstream and they treat their kids like I wouldn't treat a dog. Talking harshly to them, belittling them, grabbing them roughly, hitting, spanking, slapping, pinching, and just constantly making their lives stressful. Children are human beings, too. We adults are in situations involving other adults every single day which would be satisfying to put said adult in their place, but we don't. Kids do far less to anyone, in general, and yet they can be treated worse than criminals. I blogged about this yesterday, actually. "Being Gentle with Kids part 1"

[SunShineSally]

I judge way to much but I also am not pefect I try so hard tobe understanding but I am way to judgemental. I have called the police on parents and CPS on two people.
I called the cops because someone left their child in a car in a parkinglot in the dead of summer so hot that the poor little girl (who I can still see her little wet face ) I waited until they showed up I was cring myself I even tried to open the door but they had locked it and child locked it so she could not get out! I am not kidding it was over 85 degrees and we have nasty humidity here! I called the cops again on a mother who I saw slap and kick her little boy who was not even 3 I mean kick in the back!!!!!!!!!!! full force I am suprised that the child even lived (ohh and they both happened in the same parking lot) I gave them her plate # I do not know if they ever did anything but. I couldn't not do anything.

I do cringe when people are just down right nasty. No one is perfect by any means but I TRY not to be rude or what not to Ds. We all have our days like today I was less than nice to Ds a few times he has been so so so so whinny and cring over everything I tried to ask him what is makeing him so upset lately and he has nothing to say. So I said things that I would have given parents a dirty look or comment to. I said ohh I thought I had a big boy not a baby! Yes I did and I felt horrid after the words came out. I said to Ds that I was sorry that I was just upset that he kept whining and that he is a big boy. But being my judgemental self I judged myself and still to this moment cannot believe I stooped to that level and said that to my Ds.

My ramble is done now sorry!

[tree.in.the.hole]

Originally Posted by PlayaMama

i'm not perfect by any means but when i hear hurtful mean things directed at children it hurts.

i feel the same way.

whenever i hear something hurtful said to a child, i am more focused on the child. my heart just goes out to the child and i always try to say "i know what that feels like" with my eyes...

for me, i don't judge the parents. we are all doing the best we can, given our own experiences and our own self-education...

but i know, that some of the hurtful things a parent says in a stressful moment, stay with the child for a lifetime...

[burke-a-bee]

Originally Posted by Storm Bride

Not often. I'm usually too busy cringing at my own parenting to worry about the way others do things.

:

[tropicaldutchtulip]

I didn't read all the responses, but YES!!!!! I do cringe a lot! I usually end up telling DH!

[Annapooh]

Originally Posted by nonconformnmom

I try not to judge. I'm a completely different parent now than I was with my oldest child, and I continue to re-evaluate my parenting and learn new and more effective ways of handling various parenting situations.

We're all learning - and sadly, we're all stuck with on the job training as we figure things out!

I am so different with dd-7 than with dd-15 and ds-13... I am always looking for better more effective ways to do this job of mommy, but now, I am wondering how to undo some of the "damage" I did with my words so long ago. I feel like my relationship with the older two is good, but I can see sometimes that my "sins of the past" are affecting today. I cringe sometimes when I see others' parenting, but, I have to remeber when my figurative finger is pointing at someone else, there are three pointing back at me. I personally find that the things I like least in other (dd-15 comes to mind) that there is something that comes back to what I don't like about myself, or my hopefully former self.

[summerbabe]

Originally Posted by choli

I've had my less than stellar parenting moments myself, so, no, I don't cringe when I hear a parent say things I disagree with. No doubt if that same parent could overhear me 24/7 she would hear stuff that would make her want to cringe too.

Oh, boy, that was my first response, too! I've had a couple of really challenging days with my 2.5 y.o.--I've been sick and he's been uncharacteristically oppositional and whiny--so when I first read this, the first thing that popped into my head was "Well, I often cringe at MY parenting!"

But to the OP, yes, I do feel sad when I hear parents saying mean things.

[pomplemoose]

I think we all have our moments, and i think we all cringe at parenting we dont agree with. My own and others. I have a tendency to have a short temper after the 50th time im asked something and i almost immediately feel bad about what i've said. Luckily over the years its gotten better and i think im much more patient now, i know that mothering has helped me to see my problems a lot more clearly. im trying to be the best gd mommy i can. and i think that others should try too

[SunShineSally]

Originally Posted by pomplemoose

I think we all have our moments, and i think we all cringe at parenting we dont agree with. My own and others. I have a tendency to have a short temper after the 50th time im asked something and i almost immediately feel bad about what i've said. Luckily over the years its gotten better and i think im much more patient now, i know that mothering has helped me to see my problems a lot more clearly. im trying to be the best gd mommy i can. and i think that others should try too

I also believe that comeing here to MDC helps to keep myself in check, with my patience and what and HOW I say stuff. Not only to Ds but with my Dp and others.

[JamesMama]

I can really only recall one moment that left me cringing/crying/gape mouthed in shock.

I was in The Store That Must Not Be Named when I saw a little boy, perhaps 2? Saying "Mommy." more than once, then all the sudden the mother just reached out and SLAPPED the baby. HARD. Like head snapping back sharp loud noise HARD. I stopped dead in my tracks, my jaw dropped and I just stared at her in shock trying not to cry as the little boy just SOBBED. She glared at me, rolled her eyes, snapped at the little boy to shut the f up and walked away. If I weren't on a schedule (I was there after work, had to get home so DH could get to work) I would have stalked her and got her plate number and called DHS on her.

It's really only the truly abusive stuff that leaves me upset...