Will following instructions eventually happen?

[bluetoes]

My little boy is almost 2.5. He is a sweet little guy but of course is a toddler so is exploring boundaries. I am generally OK with things except where safety is concerned. The two issues right now are him going out the dog door all the time and getting into the freezer for popscicles. Also getting him to hold my hand in parking lots and ALWAYS running from me.

I don't want him to go outside without supervision. Particularly at night in his PJs when it's cold outside! Inevitably he gets poop on his shoes just before it's time to leave in the mornings.

As for the freezer, a child can't eat popscicles 24/7. I'd like to at least get some dinner into him first. They're actually sugarfree lo-cal ones I eat to keep me away from more fattening sweets. Not that I have an issue sharing, I just think a healthy 2.5 year old needs real food!

Do I just need to relax? We put a baby-lock on the frig and close the doggie door a lot of times.

We try telling him he can have a popscicle after dinner or how they're not for breakfast but he isn't quite to the point where he can be reasoned with or get delayed gratification/rewards.

Any suggestions? I feel like I am walking a tightrope between traumatising my child with discipline like I was and raising a brat, both which are bad. I just want a happy, well adjusted guy who can follow basic guidance.

[Deer Hunter]

Right now, he is very young, and a child will not be good at following directions at that age, but when he gets older and can actually converse with you, you can reason with him a bit better. Right now, you'll have to take some action. Here are some things you can do that may help:

1. Put a lock on the freezer. My mother did this because my two-year-old sister just kept getting into it and getting all the food out and making messes.
2. Can you somehow restrict access to the dog door, such as putting a gate in his doorway so he cannot leave his room at night? If you are not comfortable with that, put one at the top of the stairs or where the hall ends. Does he still sleep in a crib? If not, you could try that also. This way, you don't have to worry about him going out at night. Gosh! I'd be terrified about that. It must scare you.
3. If he will not holdyour hand, get a child's leash. It will give him room to explore, but he will not be able to run off into traffic or run from you.

I hope that these things help. Sooner or later, when he gets a bit older, he will be able to listen better. Just hang in there.

[LynnS6]

Yes, but it's going to take a year or more for it to sink in. My kids are 4 and 7 and do pretty well with following instructions. Dd (4) and I walked to the grocery store yesterday from daycare and crossed 6 busy streets and a parking lot, and she was fine. She held my hand when I asked, she stopped when I asked and was cheerful about the whole thing. That's a far cry from the struggles when had when she was 1 and 2 to get her to hold a hand. I can't tell you how many times I carried her back to the side of the road to start over because she darted out (thankfully, we live on a quiet street).

I think both of your restrictions at home are reasonable. At his age, prevention is probably the best thing to do to avoid these constant struggles. As he gets older, he can help you clean up the poop on his shoes, or better yet, be given the job of cleaning up the poop in the yard!

One thing to think about - you might try allowing him one popsicle a day and then letting HIM decide when to have it - whether it be for breakfast or after dinner. I'd be even more in favor of this strategy if you got some of the all fruit bars that could then function like a glass of juice. You'll still have a meltdown in the evening if he has it for breakfast (because he will want another one), but it does put the decision more in his hands.

[bluetoes]

Glad to hear he's pretty much a normal toddler! Regarding the dog door, at night he sleeps upstairs in a crib with a gate at the top of the stairs so it wouldn't be then, just before goes to bed when we're downstairs.

For some reason I was thinking I should be able to get him to stop doing things without still having to resort to locks etc etc but it will be a while longer.

I will try his harness but always feel like I've got him on a leash even though I know it's safer.

Thanks for the advice.

[guestmama9911]

The 0-3 years are pretty much all about prevention. They may act like theyknow what you are saying, but they don't understand why what you want is more important than what you want. As they get older, they're better able to put themselves in someone else's shoes and understand family rules.