Irrational Fears about birth?

[Kimmiepie]

I'm peeking in from January since I'm still pregnant. Hope that's okay.

I was wondering if any other mamas had any irrational type fears about birth? I know a lot of moms fear the pain, perhaps hemmhorrage, something wrong with the baby or other complications of the like. However, I seem to have stranger fears.

I worry about having a heart attack, stroke, or that rare complication where an embolism forms from the amniotic fluid leaking into the mother's circulatory system. I also worry about blood clots (and traveling to lung etc)...during pregnancy but more postpartum.

I feel so silly writing this out. I've never had a problem with any of my other births. But I worry more and more each time. It's not an overwhelming fear, but it's always in the back of my mind I guess. That might be part of the reason I haven't gone into labor yet.

Do any other mamas have fears like this? Or am I the only one? How can I make myself trust in my body and let go of the fear?

ETA: I've always suffered from health anxiety and it had gotten sooo much better, but the birth thing is still there.

[Mainstream Hippie]

I think we hypocondriachs spend more time worrying about the exotic, because it is more... romantic, in a way? For example: serious migraine? Clearly brain cancer. At least that is the way for me. I think I spend time worrying about the things that I KNOW statistically are unlikely to happen for two reasons- 1) so if it does happen, I can say, "I KNEW it! Just my luck!" and probably more important, 2) to distract me from worrying about things that are more common and thus significantly more likely to actually happen to me.

Would statistics about these rare complications help ease your mind? Meditation? Discussing them with your care provider (provided they are not the dismissive sort)?

Good luck and wishes for a safe, easy birth for you soon.

[birthworks]

I haven't been worrying about me or the baby or even the birth but at the end of my pregnancies I have these crazy worries about my older kids- like of them dying. Like the other day I had a dream that my oldest was hit by a car and my husband went with him to the hospital while I was having my home birth. It was horrible! Crazy huh! Weird thoughts are always flying randomly into my mind about my 5 and 2 year old. I remember having the same problem when I was pregnant with my 2 year old so luckily it should pass.

[JesiLynne]

I'm not worried about anything happening as much as I am worried about the pain.
I'm pretty confident, not just in me, but in God and my midwives.

[mamakaya]

i can relate to this. i attributed it to being an anxious person pre-pregnancy, and that has kind of "blossomed" as birthing day draws near. however i know that fear and anxiety will hurt my body's ability to labour effectively and i don't want to put myself or my baby at risk because i am just all up in arms about things. i've made dealing with this a big priority in my life because i know it can be all consuming if i'm not careful.

one thing that helps is to let myself imagine the absolute worst thing happening. i go through a scenario in my head, reeling at the imagined horror, but not stopping there. after i let myself "indulge" in feeling shocked at how bad things COULD be, i start imagining some real life solutions. like, if xyz actually happened, what would i do? what would my partner do? what would my doula do? i imagine us in the solutions and then suddenly the big scary problem isn't so scary anymore. i find this helps more than putting the big and scaries out of my mind because it makes them normal and something i can handle.

another thing that helps is to listen to my hypnobirthing affirmations about birth. cheesy or not, it helps me a lot to hear on a daily basis that i can turn my birthing over to nature and be okay. to let go of the control i feel i need in order to prevent my worst fears from becoming true (which aren't even LIKELY to happen anyways) is such a great release and leaves me free to imagine better and happier things.

in my first pregnancy i was really confident that things would go smoothly and like nature intends. things didn't. i had to heal from the trauma of not just what happened to my body, but to the loss of how i imagined things to be. for a long time i felt really vulnerable and scared that Something Bad might happen to me or my son again. it is not a good way to live! it was textbook bad in terms of how birthing can go but oddly enough, it was still the happiest day of my life.

your little baby-to-be doesn't need all the negativity attached to their entrance to the world. try to enjoy your pregnancy! it has taken me a lotta work its worth it.

[PaigeC]

Originally Posted by mamakaya

another thing that helps is to listen to my hypnobirthing affirmations about birth. cheesy or not, it helps me a lot to hear on a daily basis that i can turn my birthing over to nature and be okay.

:

If you don't have hypnobirthing or hypnobabies, try downloading this online: http://store.anjionline.com/-strse-1...ons/Detail.bok

There is also Deep Relaxation for Childbirth on iTunes.

[Kimmiepie]

Thanks everyone.

I have mentioned it all to my midwife, and she understands that I am a worrier and was sympathetic. She has assured me I'll be fine, but it doesn't really make a difference because I know there's no way she can know that for sure. I realize that worrying does not make a difference at all in the outcome if one of those things were to happen, but I just can't seem to help it. Knowing the statistics doesn't really help, because even if it says "there is a .05% chance" I'll assume I'm going to be that percent.

I do pray a lot about it, which gives me a sense of peace and comfort. But it eventually fades and I find myself worrying again. It's a vicious cycle.

I'm going to have dh get the Childbirth Relaxation on iTunes! Thanks!

I'm glad I'm not the only one who worries about such things. I'm just going to keep praying and trying to focus on the positive.