Older Siblings there for the birth?

[MandyB]

I'm just curious, how many of you plan on letting the babies siblings be there to watch the birth?

When my son was 2 and 4, and when my daughter was 2, they were at the births of their younger siblings. I've always liked the idea of them being a part of it, and I've never felt like it is something they shouldn't "know" about (how babies are born), but now that my son is getting older (he'll be 7 when this baby is born) I'm having second thoughts about him being there.

The first thing he did when we told him that I was pregnant, was ask where the baby comes out of..."And it's going to come out of your bottom mommy?" and on and on and he thought that was pretty darn funny.

I just don't want him going to school and telling all of the kids where babies come from, you know? Anyone else with kids aged 6+ already gone through this? How did you approach it and explain everything?

[Pohuehue]

We had an almost 4 y.o. at our birth and she went around telling everyone where the baby came from. I don't think you can stop that at all--births are bound to make strong impressions on everyone. We have some some funny stories and are so glad we interviewed her on video the next day.

There's a dvd and booklet made especially for kids documenting a homebirth, but I can't remember the name of it and can't find it.

I'd suggest that if you decide on it, have someone who can be with your son. I'd want someone who knows him well, who can read his feelings and know if it's time to leave, who can answer questions in a manner you feel good about. You'll be busy!

[ursusarctos]

My siblings and I were at my brother's homebirth when I was 12 and they were 9 and 7. We all thought it was pretty cool and were very excited that we got to meet our brother right away. I don't seem to remember any issues with my younger siblings telling details, but then again we were sort of a private family anyway. I do remember telling my friends that my mom was having a homebirth and hearing back from their moms that my mom "must be really brave"
We knew that there was something special going on when my mom was giving birth so we stayed out of the way when my mom wanted to be alone and we just knew that now was not the time to be needy.

[treehugginmama]

So far we haven't had any of them at any of the births. I've been considering it this time.

[firewoman]

For the birth of my fourth baby the other three children were present and my oldest is a daughter and she was in the tub and caught the baby. She was 9 at the time. My sons were 5 and 2, but they will all be allowed to be there for the birth of their next sibling if they want to be. Maybe show your son some videos of natural births and see how comfortable he is with it. My children weren't in the room for the whole labor, just the birth itself. Good luck!

[MeadowMom]

My ds who is 10 will be there. He is very excited! My dss who is 17 hasn't said either way but it's totally up to him.

[mysticmomma]

My daughter was 2 when my ds was born, and we had my mother and sister here for her (homebirth). She ended up not wanting to watch, so she was in the hallway while I pushed and a few minutes after he was born, she came in to sit on DH's lap. I think the most important thing is to have someone there to support them, and follow their lead. This time, we'll probably have 2-3 people here just for the kids. It's probably going to be a full house, which is exactly what I did NOT want last time, but I'm feeling very confident this time around. I still reserve the right to kick anyone out at anytime for any reason.

[jillybeans]

We had planned for dd to be at the birth of her sister, with G'ma caring for her. But she was asleep, and woke up shortly after the birth. This time I will leave it up to her, but assume I'll give birth at night again. Her younger sister won't be in the room- she'll only be 18mo.

[mum2row]

We are planning our second homebirth and our dd will be present. I have asked grandma to watch out for dd and keep her entertained.

[Maela]

I would like to have my dd at the birth, but I know that if we did we would need to have someone else there to watch her, and I don't think I want anyone else here. I feel like it will keep me from doing my thing, yk? But I also hate the thought of her being taken away while her baby brother/sister is coming into the family. I can't decide...

[Leilamus]

Originally Posted by Maela

I would like to have my dd at the birth, but I know that if we did we would need to have someone else there to watch her, and I don't think I want anyone else here. I feel like it will keep me from doing my thing, yk? But I also hate the thought of her being taken away while her baby brother/sister is coming into the family. I can't decide...

We're the same way. We're probably (hopefully) having a homebirth this time but that means that our older kids who will be 3 and 6 will be home. Our place is good size but it's fairly open so I'm not so sure what to do if the kids don't want to be within hearing distance and all. Also, we'd have to have my mom come and take care of them, which isn't horrible but I don't know that I want her there and I don't know if she wants to be there. It's weird...I've decided not to think about it until much later.

[jennyvangy]

When my sister had her third she arranged for my other sister to come over and watch the kids upstairs while she laboured downstairs. She also didn't want a full house, so auntie just stayed upstairs with the two boys sleeping until the baby was born and then brought them down afterward. The option of having them witness the birth was there, but because they were sleeping, and hadn't expressedly wanted to be there, they were just woken up right afterward and brought down. If you can find someone who will actually stay out of the way to watch the children, I think the option can be there if it feels right at the time.

[hapersmion]

I want my DS to be there, he'll be close to four. I haven't quite figured out the logistics, though. I'll probably have my mom watch him, but she bothers me sometimes.... so maybe she'll be banned to the rest of the house and not allowed to talk where I can hear her, or something. Who knows. If she doesn't want to do it, I'm not sure what we'll do.

[Kritto]

My DD will be almost 3 when this one arrives, and she will be there for the birth. With my DD's birth my little (17 yo) brother was there. He said it was cool and that he learned a lot, but that he doesn't want to video tape this one.

When I was 5 I saw my sister's birth. I still remember it. It was amazing.