WWYD: 5 year old always putting hands/fingers in faces

[Elijah's Mom]

My 5.5 year old and nearly 3 year old get a long really well, most of the time. But one thing he does so often (whether with hands, with toys, playing kung fu, etc.) is put his hands in her face, plays with her face, covers her mouth or gets so close it is intrusive to her face ... he does this with DH and myself, too. It is really a problem ... we all feel it to be very intrusive and he knows it by now. I don't know how to handle it on a consistent basis ... he absolutely knows the difference b/w gentle/ungentle touch, etc. ... but what is good, consistent natural consequence?

Becca

[brendamr]

"Sweetie, no one likes getting poked in the face. Let's take a break from this for a few minutes. I'll be right here. Do you want to read or color or X or Y instead?"

Basically, a casual explanation that you don't like it, so you won't be sticking around letting him do it. Nothing shaming or isolating and keep offering alternative play that keeps his fingers away from eyes.

[Elijah's Mom]

I wish this worked -- we've tried, SO MANY times, to be casual, clear and re-directing about it -- from really gentle one-word reminders "faces, Sweetie, remember?" to gently removing his hands and continuing the play, to gently removing his hands and separating the two kids ... these don't seem to work. It is such a long-standing, relatively constant issue. Admittedly, tonight and yesterday, I've been at wits end -- feeling as though he knows it but can't stop himself or doesn't even notice its happening b/c its such a constant (though when I offered that later tonight as a way of saying we all have habits that we wish we could change and sometimes we need reminders ...) -- and yes, its been far more scolding and getting angry (when he was covering my daughter's mouth when she was crying in the bathtub) ... which I know doesn't work and isn't gentle.

So are you suggesting as a key difference in all of this is to just say we don't poke/play near faces and then remove him from the situation as I play with him? If I'm alone with both kids, what would I do with my daughter?

Becca

[AbbieB]

My DD is like this.

I have talked to her about everybody having a bubble of space around them. So when she gets in my face I say "Your in my bubble!"

I admit that I have had to say this with a growl occasionally (cranky momma)but most times I say it with humor and she responds. I think changing the language can help get the message across.