those who used to vax but stopped...

[mamaonthefarm]

Six years ago, I ignorantly allowed the dr. to vax my daughter at 2 mos. (hib, polio, dtap, hep b, prevnar) and then again at 4mos. (Even worse, she had fever and fussiness after each time and even worse, I stupidly gave her tylenol - I don't do fever-lowering meds anymore for my kids, btw) After those 2 times, I turned into a "selectively" or "delayed" vaxer and allowed another dtap and an mmr (sigh). Then I stopped vaxing completely.

DD is now 6, and is perfectly healthy. We eat a nutrient-dense diet and live naturally and happily. Yet, I cannot handle the guilt for having had allowed these vaxes. After reading more about vaxes and how she might have some bad long-term effects later on down the road, I just cannot forgive myself or the damn dr.

Can someone help me feel better about this? Is it possible that because she was so young, that maybe the bad effects (along with the immunity, which is fine) of the vaxes may have worn off? I need something to help me feel better because I am beating myself up about it!

[Patchfire]

I don't know. If you figure out how to stop feeling guilty, let me know, because I actually do see effects on my now 8 yo dd. Ds and dd2 are both unvaccinated. Dd2 is very similar to dd1, eerily so in many aspects, and it scares me to death to think that I'm going to be seeing 'what might have been.' Except, of course, I'll never know if it was the vaccines or just individual differences between them... and I fear that I'll always wonder which it is.

I tell myself - you did what you knew to do at the time, you changed your actions later - but it seems a bit hollow at times.

[Super Glue Mommy]

(hugs) I wish I could help you but my son was damaged by vaccines and I dont think I can ever get past the feelings attached to that.

[LavenderMae]

The only thing that helps my guilt some is the fact I really had no idea. I never would have harmed my children (my eldest is vaxed up tp 5 yrs and my 2nd up to 6 mths, youngest is vax free) if I had known I had a choice. I honestly did the best I could with the information I had at the time. My dd (my eldest) did have at least two adverse reactions one being the DTP scream with her first round of shots , I was told to give her tylenol and I did. With her last set she also had a noticable adverse reaction. I do worry for her future, I do wish I could go back and undue what I did. I will probably always feel guilty but I know in my heart (and so does she) that I never would have knowingly harmed her.
I was told her reactions were normal btw.

[Marnica]

Don't beat yourself up! You trusted your doctor and followed medical advice which is what we are all brought up to do! You didn't know of the possible reactions and when you became aware you stopped. What more can any mom do?? Chances are your DD will be just fine and hopefully if there are any long term effects they would be mild and treatable...like allergies or skin problems. Guilt is a useless emotion. :

[MyBoysBlue]

My DS1 had the DTP scream with his first two rounds of shot and I gave him tylenol too. The only thing that makes me feel ok is that I am not adding to it by continuing. He was completely vaxed except for the grade one boosters. He doesn't seem to have any negative effects. DS 2 is not vaxed at all. I guess it may see a bit heartless but there is nothing I can do to change the past, So I don't dwell.

[MyBoysBlue]

double post

[cadejaxellamom]

I also would love to stop "feeling guilty" about vaxing my older children. My oldest ds is almost 8 and fully vaxed, my 5 year old was fully vaxed until he was 2 and my 15 month old is vax free and will stay that way. My oldest seems to still be healthy as a horse but my 5 year old had adverse reactions (high fevers, extreme swelling at the site, and the DTaP scream...all of which i was told was normal and just give him tylenol ) He is still my "sick kid" to this day. He starting having drug resistant ear infections at 10 months (and weaned early because of them) and then was dx with asthma and allergies. He is much better now and we hardly ever have to give him any meds (other than daily vitamins and cod liver oil), but every single time he gets a cold that the other 2 don't get I want to cry because i really think a lot of his problems are vaccine related

[xmasbaby7]

Both my DH and I were sickly children with all sorts of autoimmune disorders from vaxing, but we are very healthy adults now after years of proper eating and healthy lifestyle.

We will all do something in rearing our children that prevents the optimal in some way or another. Let go of the of the guilt so that it doesn't breed additional "junk".

Focus on everything you CAN do for their health over the next decade and more and realize how much power you have to have a positive impact on their health!

[marlne]

Originally Posted by Marnica

Don't beat yourself up! You trusted your doctor and followed medical advice which is what we are all brought up to do! You didn't know of the possible reactions and when you became aware you stopped. What more can any mom do?? Chances are your DD will be just fine and hopefully if there are any long term effects they would be mild and treatable...like allergies or skin problems. Guilt is a useless emotion. :

I completely agree! Don't beat yourself up over this, focus on all the wonderful you are doing for your daughter now.