Queer Parents Roll Call (Winter 2009)

[CrunchySmurf]

So I am still really new here, but I'm trying to get to know everyone and feel more at home. I'd love it if you would participate in my roll call and help me get to know you. Feel free to skip any questions you don't feel comfortable answering.

1. Give us three sentences or less about your self/life.

2. Do you have (a) significant other(s)? If yes, tell us more about her/him/them.

3. Is someone in your family currently pregnant? If yes, when are you due?

4. Are you currently TTC? If yes, how long have you been trying? Have you had any previous successful TTC attempts?

5. Are you making plans to TTC soon? If yes, how is it going?

6. Do you have (a) child(ren)? If yes, tell us more about him/her/them.

7. What has been the best thing that has happened in your life since the start of 2009?

8. Is there anything else you would like to share?

Thanks for playing!

[CrunchySmurf]

Giving my own answers...

1. Give us three sentences or less about your self/life. I am a 27 year old foster care/adoption social worker. I live in central Virginia. I have been married for almost 3 years (in April), and am step-mom to one.

2. Do you have (a) significant other(s)? If yes, tell us more about her/him/them. Yep! Kim is 48 (yes, we are 21 years apart -- almost exactly!), I am her second marriage. She is a WAHM doing contract work for a small higher education firm. She primarily does financial aid leveraging for them.

3. Is someone in your family currently pregnant? If yes, when are you due? Nope.

4. Are you currently TTC? If yes, how long have you been trying? Have you had any previous successful TTC attempts? Not yet.

5. Are you making plans to TTC soon? If yes, how is it going? YES! But not soon enough!! We plan to start in April. It is going pretty well. I feel like I still need to get in better shape, but otherwise things are falling into place pretty well. We have a KD lined up and we are currently putting together our donor insem. agreement.

6. Do you have (a) child(ren)? If yes, tell us more about him/her/them. I have an almost 16 year old step-daughter. We have some fairly serious issues with her that makes life pretty trying at times. She is absolutely gorgeous though and very, very smart. She is a sophomore currently, and will probably be starting a modified dual-enrollment program at the local community college next year, the high school thing is really not working out for us.

7. What has been the best thing that has happened in your life since the start of 2009? It is a bit of a toss up... we got a KD! and I started a new job that I feel very passionate about.

8. Is there anything else you would like to share? Can't wait to learn more about others!

[FunkSoulMommy]

1. Give us three sentences or less about your self/life.
I'm a student mama about to graduate with my BA in Psychology, and just beginning my training as a doula & CBE. I'm currently stuck in WV, but will escaping to a real place in May. I'm a horrible packrat.
2. Do you have (a) significant other(s)? If yes, tell us more about her/him/them.
I have a very serious girlfriend who is most likely moving in soon. I actually just bought a ring, but haven't ask her yet. Shes super smart & determined. Shes older than me by 11 years, and unfortunately just beginning the journey to defeat bladder cancer. She is decidedly less crunchy than myself, but despite occasionally thinking my son needs french fries, fully supports my decisions. She is current working as a drug & alcohol counselor.

3. Is someone in your family currently pregnant? If yes, when are you due?
not currently but eventually we both want to be. She is on hold due to chemo and health issues & I'm trying to resist the urge by lusting over all the beautiful mixed babies we have been seeing lately & going home to my kitty.

4. Are you currently TTC? If yes, how long have you been trying? Have you had any previous successful TTC attempts?
nopers

5. Are you making plans to TTC soon? If yes, how is it going?
Were thinking for the future, but our life is too hectic right now

6. Do you have (a) child(ren)? If yes, tell us more about him/her/them.
I have son from my previous relationship. He is super cute & loves mornings in bed with mamamama & Laura watching clifford on our great big 13 inch tv

7. What has been the best thing that has happened in your life since the start of 2009?

probably starting my doula/cbe training. I'm also pursuing a few other certifications so hopefully when we decide to change sides of the country it will be easier to market myself.

8. Is there anything else you would like to share?
I'm really looking forward to becoming more of an active member in this sub forum & my biggest secret is I spend a good portion of my time stalking the ttc & preggo threads... I'm living vicariously till we can take the leap.

[FtMPapa]

1. Give us three sentences or less about your self/life.

I'm a 28 year old PhD student. I'm Canadian but living in the US for school - and I love this area (Western Mass) but I really am eager to go back to Canada. I think I'm getting crunchier the longer I live here, which is just fine wiht me.

2. Do you have (a) significant other(s)? If yes, tell us more about her/him/them.

My dog is the most significant relationship in my life - she's seven years old, which is definitely old but not yet ancient for a Great Dane.

3. Is someone in your family currently pregnant? If yes, when are you due?

Not sure yet - if so, end of October. I'll know more in a week or two.

4. Are you currently TTC? If yes, how long have you been trying? Have you had any previous successful TTC attempts?

Yes. This is my fifth cycle with a KD, my eighth cycle in the past two-ish years, in which I think I conceived once. I took a somewhat involuntary TTC break from Sept 07 - Aug 08 while I moved to the US, got into a relationship, waited for partners to be ready for me to conceive, found a KD, started trying to conceive, and then got out of said relationship.



7. What has been the best thing that has happened in your life since the start of 2009?

We've been having unseasonal spring the past two days, we are coming out of our deep freeze all week (seriously, it's been 0 F and colder) to temperatures that are pushing 50 F. I am EXTREMELY excited abou this.

8. Is there anything else you would like to share?

I want to birth one child soonish, I hope, and then plan on adopting at least one, more likely, two, more children, eight to ten years from now.

Plan is subject to change of course. I am very quietly hoping for fraternal twins. But not really, because that would be a lot. But kind of.

I have next to no relationship with anyone who is related to me, except my grandmother, and I don't want my kid to grow up without family.

[Raene]

1. Give us three sentences or less about your self/life. I'm married to my soulmate, who happens to be transgendered, and we have a 5 yr old daughter. We enjoy spending time together as a family as much as possible so DP and I both work part time and survive on small salaries b/c we think it's worth it.

2. Do you have (a) significant other(s)? If yes, tell us more about her/him/them. Yup, see above...he's awesome...we've been together a few years, and got married last June, though not legally b/c we're in NY. However, NY has a new law that states we can both be on the birth certificate if we have been married in another state, so we're off to Mass soon to officially tie the knot!

3. Is someone in your family currently pregnant? If yes, when are you due? Yes, moi, due at the end of August.

4. Are you currently TTC? If yes, how long have you been trying? Have you had any previous successful TTC attempts? n/a

5. Are you making plans to TTC soon? If yes, how is it going? n/a

6. Do you have (a) child(ren)? If yes, tell us more about him/her/them. Yes, she's 5. She's as girly as they come, which is difficult for my partner to understand, but I was the same way when young so I can relate. She's a sweetheart and a typical 5 yr old with a thousand questions a minute.

7. What has been the best thing that has happened in your life since the start of 2009? We're almost through the 1st trimester which is awesome.

8. Is there anything else you would like to share? Can't think of anything at the moment, no!

[Raene]

Originally Posted by CrunchySmurf

Yep! Kim is 48 (yes, we are 21 years apart -- almost exactly!),

My last partner was 46 when I was 23...twice my age! I think sometimes that really works out well. Age is just a number anyway.

[osker]

1. Give us three sentences or less about your self/life.
I am currently working on my doctorate in psychology. My wife and I live in Boston and love the cold (most of the time). We talk non stop. It's crazy. We have to make agreements to stop talking in order to sleep at night.

2. Do you have (a) significant other(s)? If yes, tell us more about her/him/them.
DW and I have been together since we were almost teenagers (19 and 20). We've been together for more than 10 years, got married three years ago and plan to be together forever.

3. Is someone in your family currently pregnant? If yes, when are you due?
No

4. Are you currently TTC? If yes, how long have you been trying? Have you had any previous successful TTC attempts?
Yes, we've been trying for two years (seven attempts), no success yet.

5. Are you making plans to TTC soon? If yes, how is it going?
We're excited to try again this cycle!

6. Do you have (a) child(ren)? If yes, tell us more about him/her/them.
Not yet

7. What has been the best thing that has happened in your life since the start of 2009?
DW and I have started to exercise just about every day! It's great! (and I only moderately hate exercise now, as opposed to before when I hated it with a passion.)


8. Is there anything else you would like to share?
I'm glad you came up with this thread! It's great!

[Disco Infiltrator]

1. Give us three sentences or less about your self/life.

I'm always tired.

I have a good life so I'm lucky.

I should be in bed right now (see previous)

2. Do you have (a) significant other(s)? If yes, tell us more about her/him/them.

Yes. She's awesome. We've been together since one of us couldn't legally drink. She's the most stubborn, dedicated, persistent, creative person I know.

3. Is someone in your family currently pregnant? If yes, when are you due?

no

4. Are you currently TTC? If yes, how long have you been trying? Have you had any previous successful TTC attempts?

We have a DS. He was our eighth try. He was worth the wait.

5. Are you making plans to TTC soon? If yes, how is it going?

We'll start up again in the fall. DW will be the uterus this time. It's not going because our sperm is in absentia.

6. Do you have (a) child(ren)? If yes, tell us more about him/her/them.

DS is almost two. He's my little squirrel. I think he's the smartest person on earth. I'm his mommy so that's my job. He's a sweet and sensitive kid. I love having a toddler. When he goes to sleep I miss him.

7. What has been the best thing that has happened in your life since the start of 2009?

Still early in the year but I'm hoping for a job change this year. I think having a little more financial stability going into 2009 vs. 2008 is the best thing so far.

8. Is there anything else you would like to share?

Nah. Is that bad?

[ruvalokiteshvara]

1. Give us three sentences or less about your self/life.

i am a tired librarian.
i am an american-canadian.
i make my DW cut my hair at home.

2. Do you have (a) significant other(s)? If yes, tell us more about her/him/them.

i do - DW lemurmommies (a much more active person around here!) we were "married" in quebec back when it was just a civil union (which means if we ever want to get out of it, we don't have to divorce, we can just sign an agreement and get a notary to stamp on it!), almost 6 years ago now. crazy! she is the only reason that i am capable of functioning in the normal world day after day.

3. Is someone in your family currently pregnant? If yes, when are you due?

no. don't think so. unless my SIL has had another accident...

4. Are you currently TTC? If yes, how long have you been trying? Have you had any previous successful TTC attempts?

we are. this is our first TTC attempt after losing noelle in december. so our third TTC attempt altogether - the first two times both resulted in pregnancies.

5. Are you making plans to TTC soon? If yes, how is it going?

we have plans to try again in april if it doesn't work this time.

6. Do you have (a) child(ren)? If yes, tell us more about him/her/them.

we have one son, 26 months old. he is marvelous and astounding. he talks almost as much as i do. he is a gifted artist, loves wordplay, is hugely affectionate, and very sensitive. i don't think there is anything in the world that could possibly make me love him any more than i do now, even if we are not linked biologically...

7. What has been the best thing that has happened in your life since the start of 2009?

hm. in my last 10 days of work, i have stayed home sick 6 days. i enjoy staying home sick because i would always rather be home with my family, even if someone is puking, coughing, blowing their nose, or running a terrible sweaty fever!

8. Is there anything else you would like to share?

i am an open book - i will share anything! i love to read and knit. i used to self-publish a mini-comic, but i had to give it up when i started working full-time. my eventual goal is for lemurmommies and i to both land part-time librarian gigs somewhere so we can both do a little work in our profession, but also stay at home a little bit, but still bring in more money than i make being the only breadwinner (we'd get 48 hours a week pay instead of my 35). life is meant to be lived part-time, so you have time to do EVERYTHING!!

[milletpuff]

Oh yay, I love these!

1. Give us three sentences or less about your self/life.
I could talk about small dogs all day. After moving somewhere that has seasons, I have learned that I am actually really into them. I am manifesting so much in my life lately that it's freaking me out and it's hard to take it in gracefully.

2. Do you have (a) significant other(s)? If yes, tell us more about her/him/them.
Yes! She's amazing, responsible, hilarious, generous, ya know, perfect in her imperfections and all. I'm smitten. We've been together almost 3 years.

3. Is someone in your family currently pregnant? If yes, when are you due?
Not yet

4. Are you currently TTC? If yes, how long have you been trying? Have you had any previous successful TTC attempts?
Not currently, no previous attempts.

5. Are you making plans to TTC soon? If yes, how is it going?
We're going to start trying in May. I CAN'T WAIT!!

6. Do you have (a) child(ren)? If yes, tell us more about him/her/them.
No kids yet. One chihuahua-minpin mix that we love altogether too much in the mean time.

7. What has been the best thing that has happened in your life since the start of 2009?
I got involved with an amazing agency that may turn out to be where I work, and it's been incredible getting to know them and be excited about what has been an amorphous career change for a LONG TIME.

8. Is there anything else you would like to share?
I am so glad I found this board when I did. I think it has absolutely, fundamentally changed a lot of ways I've thought about things. And, I'm absolutely terrified of having a baby, because it means so much to me.

xo

[patronia]

1. Give us three sentences or less about your self/life.
I'm 19 and unable to work due to social anxiety caused by Aspergers syndrome. I live in Australia. I'm trying to organize a SD to conceive sometime this year.

2. Do you have (a) significant other(s)? If yes, tell us more about her/him/them.
I'm single. I've recently completely cut off my now ex-girlfriend, it was a destructive relationship where I basically forgot who I was and my passion for children, now I'm free and want to have a baby more than ever.

3. Is someone in your family currently pregnant? If yes, when are you due?
Unfortunately no

4. Are you currently TTC? If yes, how long have you been trying? Have you had any previous successful TTC attempts?
Not currently TTC, and no previous actual attempts, but I've got close. I found a KD through a website but that wasn't right for me (I either want a KD I actually know, or an identity disclosure donor)

5. Are you making plans to TTC soon? If yes, how is it going?
Yes. I'm making very loose plans, because I'm relying on a sperm bank, and I'm not sure if I'll be approved or not. Things are moving along slowly, so fingers crossed

6. Do you have (a) child(ren)? If yes, tell us more about him/her/them.
No human children yet, a lot of animal babies.

7. What has been the best thing that has happened in your life since the start of 2009?
Um, Probably my relationship breaking up and remembering who I am it wasn't a fun thing to go through, but it was a good step in my life.

8. Is there anything else you would like to share?
I'm not new here, but I kind of feel like I am, I haven't really used this as a resource before, because I wasn't conceiving a child with another woman, I hope I'm accepted anyways!

[Sohmakun]

1. Give us three sentences or less about your self/life.
I'm a 26 year old single lesbian living in the southeastern section of the United States. I graduated school 5 years ago after getting a BA in Visual Communications. I'm currently considering traditional adoption, sperm and embryo donation.

2. Do you have (a) significant other(s)? If yes, tell us more about her/him/them.
I currently know someone that I am interested in and we have dated a few times but we are not in a serious relationship...yet .
3. Is someone in your family currently pregnant? If yes, when are you due?
Not to my knowledge but my older sister does have a son.

4. Are you currently TTC? If yes, how long have you been trying? Have you had any previous successful TTC attempts?
I haven't started anything yet and I'm still in the "researching" stages.
5. Are you making plans to TTC soon? If yes, how is it going?
Yes, like I mentioned before I'm still in the "thinking/researching" stages of the process but so far, embryo donation is starting to win...

6. Do you have (a) child(ren)? If yes, tell us more about him/her/them?
I do not have any children.

7. What has been the best thing that has happened in your life since the start of 2009?:
I have just started dating again! Its nice to meet someone new!

8. Is there anything else you would like to sharemchjl?
No comments.

[cejae]

1. Give us three sentences or less about your self/life. I am a 34 year old professor at a small liberal arts college. I research and teach about sexuality and social psychology. I have recently transplanted my family from the SF Bay Area to the foothills of the rocky mountains in CO.

2. Do you have (a) significant other(s)? If yes, tell us more about her/him/them. Yes, I have a wonderful partner and we have been together for 11 (!) wonderful, adventurous (and sometimes challenging) years. Until our move to CO she was a middle school teacher and now she's a SAHM for our 18 month old.

3. Is someone in your family currently pregnant? If yes, when are you due? Could be...in the TWW.

4. Are you currently TTC? If yes, how long have you been trying? Have you had any previous successful TTC attempts? Yup, me. This would be our third cycle.

5. Are you making plans to TTC soon? If yes, how is it going?

6. Do you have (a) child(ren)? If yes, tell us more about him/her/them. I have an 18 month old named Spencer who amazes me every day. His current obsession is his blow dryer "Blow blow!" It's pretty funny.

7. What has been the best thing that has happened in your life since the start of 2009? Oh gosh, getting more sleep?

8. Is there anything else you would like to share? I'm really happy this group exists, given that I've been starting the keenly feel the loss of our queer mama/dada community back in the bay area.

[lexbeach]

1. Give us three sentences or less about your self/life.

I am still trying to figure out what I want to be when I grow up. My life goal was always just to be a mom, and it feels GREAT to have already achieved that, but now I'm starting to wonder about what comes next. I wish we lived on a farm.

2. Do you have (a) significant other(s)? If yes, tell us more about her/him/them.

My wife Lena and I have been together for 10 years. She's a grad student at the moment. Before that, she was a high school earth science teacher. She's also worked as an outdoor guide in the past which has usually required her going to Alaska for a month every summer . . . but she's not going this summer because . . .

3. Is someone in your family currently pregnant? If yes, when are you due?

My wife is pregnant and due in June! It's a boy!

4. Are you currently TTC? If yes, how long have you been trying? Have you had any previous successful TTC attempts?

We tried a total of 5 times and were successful 3 times. Pretty amazing odds. We think we were using super sperm.

5. Are you making plans to TTC soon? If yes, how is it going?

I don't think we'll be TTCing again ever, but that's what we said after our last little one was born, so who knows . . . but probably not.

6. Do you have (a) child(ren)? If yes, tell us more about him/her/them.

We have three sons. Lukas and Jasper are twins and they just turned SIX. Zeben is two. Jasper likes soccer. Lukas likes Kung Fu (though he's never taken any classes, he remains obsessed). Zeben likes animals. They ALL like taking baths and running around the house naked.

7. What has been the best thing that has happened in your life since the start of 2009?

Hmmm . . . I guess our ultrasound at the end of January was pretty thrilling. I love knowing the sex of our fourth baby, and it was great to see that everything else looked good too.

8. Is there anything else you would like to share?

I joined MDC just before we started TTC the first time around, I can't really imagine what my mothering experience would have been like without it. : The best thing it has done for me is to inspire me to find/create a REAL LIFE Mothering Community.

[tigermiep]

Hi. I live in Minnesota with wife, baby, dog, cat, cat, cat, cat, turtle, turtle, turtle, tortoise, tortoise, and some fish. I teach in a Waldorf school.

DW will be staying home with our son when I go back to work in a week. She likes to ride motorcycles and play computer games. DS is AXL for short. He likes to chew on his hands.

The best thing that has happened since the start of 2009 is getting to stay home with our baby!

[Sohmakun]

Originally Posted by tigermiep

...dog, cat, cat, cat, cat, turtle, turtle, turtle, tortoise, tortoise, and some fish...

Oh my, you have a farm!

[CrunchySmurf]

I actually just bought a ring, but haven't ask her yet.

Oooooh, Casey!! That is so exciting. When do you plan to pop the question?

I am so sorry to hear about her struggles with cancer. I'll be keeping you both in my thoughts.

Your little guy is unbelievably adorable. I just drooled all over!!

Thanks for participating.

[CrunchySmurf]

We've been having unseasonal spring the past two days, we are coming out of our deep freeze all week (seriously, it's been 0 F and colder) to temperatures that are pushing 50 F. I am EXTREMELY excited abou this.

I FEEL your excitement. I'm in VA, we've been having similar weather. I am so ready for late spring and summer.

What is your PhD program on?

I hope your baby wish comes through very, very soon. (I secretly kinda want twins too. Shhh.)

[CrunchySmurf]

My last partner was 46 when I was 23...twice my age! I think sometimes that really works out well. Age is just a number anyway.

Totally agreed! It definitely works out really well for us.

How is your pregnancy going? How are you feeling? What does your daughter think about becoming a big sister?

Thanks for playing!

[CrunchySmurf]

We talk non stop. It's crazy. We have to make agreements to stop talking in order to sleep at night.

HAHAHA!! This so seriously cracked me up!! This is sprt of like us... except I'm more the talker. Kim puts up with it very well.

I'll be keeping your family in my thoughts while you're on your baby-makin' journey. I hope you have success very soon.