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Distasteful Birthday "Traditions" - Page 2

post #21 of 66
I've heard of letting the lo get as messy as possible on their b-day, we did that with ds1.
I couldn't imagine smashing a babies face into cake!
post #22 of 66
Wow, that's horrible
post #23 of 66
My family always did the birthday spanking. One swat on the bottom for every year. I thought this was universal, but so far no one's mentioned it. Was it just us? It wasn't a real spanking, but they always teased us that it would be. I never liked this one as a child - made me nervous.
post #24 of 66
I've heard of pushing the baby's face in the cake unfortunately. Pretty much everbody I know does the 'smash cake' and I've seen a couple times when the baby doesn't dig in and get all messy fast enough people will 'help' I hate it and would never do that to my baby.

I hate birthday spankings too.
post #25 of 66
That is pretty awful.
post #26 of 66
We always assumed that the birthday kid would get cake all over their hands, and probably face. But shoving baby's face into it is completely out of line.
I always thought the whole thing with shoving wedding cake in your new spouse's face was horribly tacky. But they are adults. I don't think I could allow my kids to spend much time around folks who have so little consideration for a child's feelings.
post #27 of 66
That is so sad, the poor baby..
How in the world is a newly one year old going to even understand what is happening to him?

We always let our kids have their own little cake and let them have at it themselves. If they enjoyed it, then great. If not, then we didn't push it.
Never would we force their face into it.
post #28 of 66
That is ridiculous and horible, I guess some people think they just do what they've heard done before. I've never seen or heard of this done in uk before and I don't get the idea to make as much mess of food and eating as you can kinda strange. A pp mentioned birthday slapping, good grief, they do birthday bumps here though, pretty sure not to little ones. In school on your birthday you would get picked up by several kids hands feet etc and bumped on the ground corresponding to your years, of course this could be painful.
post #29 of 66
so....I can't help but wonder, as I read about smash cakes, if this family is, well, lacking common sense? I mean, it sounds like they've see lots of pictures of first birthdays where the baby is all messy and covered in cake, never actually attended one and so didn't really reach the correct conclusion on just how baby got that way. It sounds to me that they thought someone helped. Weird and awful and just *duh*.
post #30 of 66
like the others i haven't heard of this either. 'smash cakes' seem to be the norm.

the biggest 'tradition' that i hate is the "birthday spanking." my immediate family never did it, but one summer, i was at m grandmother's for my birthday (we happened to be staying there between houses (one sold before the next was available). my aunt (who is crazy) was also there at the time, and she said and did a lot of nasty things to us.

usually, my mom or dad would step in--for example, once i didn't want to eat boiled spinach, and my aunt said that if i didn't finish it, i'd have to take all of my meals on the floor like the dog,, and then proceeded to put my plate on the floor with the dog--and my parents said no.

but for some reason, they didn't say no to the spanking. this might be because the whole family was there--all 4 of my father's siblings, their SOs and children, and apparently they ALL did this at every child's party. (prior to this, we lived far away and so we always had family parties that were the immediate family, no GPs, Aunts, uncles, cousins, etc). so they allowed it.

i was humiliated and mortified. i really dislike that crazy aunt too. and her children are seriously f-ed up.
post #31 of 66
What a weird tradition. Never heard of it before, frankly it sounds pretty trashy...
post #32 of 66
I'm feeling pretty fragile and PMS-y, and that just put me near to tears.
post #33 of 66
Ummmm.....Wow, a cake in the face. So they want their kid to fear frosting.
I don't get it.
Now for my ds I am totally going to make him a little smash cupcake. And let him go at it. My mom has the pictures of my first b-day cake that I mashed all over myself, but I did that to myself, not someone else.
I mean come on, have some respect for your kid.
post #34 of 66

When my firstborn turned a year old we got him a cake from Publix

And they also gave us another smaller cake! I think it was 6-8 inches so not tiny really. It wasn't as fancy as the Winnie the Pooh cake I ordered but the frosting matched and it said "Happy 1st Birthday Joey" and was really lovely.

Well I served the larger cake at the small family party we had and we ate the smaller cake the next day! Only later did I learn the smaller cake was meant for my son to destroy! No way would I waste a lot of food that way!

My son ate most of his cake, got a lot of frosting on his face, and swirled the rest on his plate!

I remember birthday spankings but ours were done privately and my mom didn't spank us but she hugged us! I remember feeling very loved. This only happened when we were very young.

My DH fed me my piece of wedding cake on his fork! LOL! We paid for the cake ourselves and there was no way we were going to waste it!

I can't imagine pushing a baby's face into a cake.

Debra, homeschooling mom of 4 ages 12, 11, 9, and 5
post #35 of 66
I think it's nice of Publix to give free smash cakes for babies' first birthday. : It's definitely too big for my taste but it's a nice gesture on their part since it is such a popular tradition.

Smashing a baby's face in the cake... not cool. When I was an (older) child, my granddad used to try his hardest to get a face in the cake, but just the tip of a nose, enough for it to be funny, not mean.
post #36 of 66
That's one messed up tradition and not one I've heard of. Way to make those memories people.

mmmmmmm Publix cake.
post #37 of 66
DH and I also refused to do the uber tacky cake smash at our wedding and certainly not to our children! That is just plain disrespectful. For DS1's first birthday, he was pretty tired by cake time, but he did make a bit of a mess with his cupcake. He was actually very clean and neat for his second birthday!

As for birthday traditions, we always had a "hot box" - everyone would form two lines facing eachother then the birthday person would have to run through as many times as their new age while everyone tried to hit them on the way through.
It was more fun than it sounds I swear!
post #38 of 66
I think it's disrespectful and ridiculous. I can see letting baby dive in and take a handful or put his face to it if he wanted to, but not to push him into it!!
post #39 of 66
Originally Posted by JSerene View Post
My family always did the birthday spanking. One swat on the bottom for every year. I thought this was universal, but so far no one's mentioned it. Was it just us? It wasn't a real spanking, but they always teased us that it would be. I never liked this one as a child - made me nervous.
we did this at school! I remember it in kindergarten, and doing it at my babysitters (20+ kids) house. the teacher would even say "and a pinch to grow an inch and a sock to grow a block" and she would pinch (lightly) and pretend to sock us in the jaw. I never thought it was scary though, it was fun.

some of the younger kids at the babysitters were scared of the spanks-I remember them crying- but then they were not made to do it. Unless their older siblings convinced them to.

this was 1983
post #40 of 66
Sounds pretty sick to me.
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