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Distasteful Birthday "Traditions" - Page 3

post #41 of 66
My grandma did a variation of the face smash for me. She waited until I had a handful and kind of smushed it around on my face. I was the kind of baby who loved stuff like that though. It was a red cake though and the dye made my face red for over a week. I think it's awful to smash a kids face in the entire cake and then wonder why they're mad though, especially if you don't know if they like being a mess.
post #42 of 66
I think cake smashing/pushing by grown, newly married adults was bad enough!

Seriously, that is just awful. Do these people have a brain in their head?
post #43 of 66
Quote:
Originally Posted by JSerene View Post
My family always did the birthday spanking. One swat on the bottom for every year. I thought this was universal, but so far no one's mentioned it. Was it just us? It wasn't a real spanking, but they always teased us that it would be. I never liked this one as a child - made me nervous.
My family did this too. My grandfather would give us "Birthday Potches (yiddish term for spanks)" - it was a family tradition.

My parents don't do this to their grandchildren.
post #44 of 66
I agree, awful. We don't do smash cakes at my house either, I get the concept, but won't waste an entire cake on something like that. A piece, and if the baby smashes, plays with it fine. If not, we move on!

I've always hated the wedding cake smash, too. Ugh. And birthday spanks were always "threatened" in my family when I was a child but in a teasing, loving manner.
post #45 of 66
That is probably the worst birthday tradition I've ever heard!!
post #46 of 66
I've never heard of that -- poor baby! I don't even like when newlyweds smash cake into each other's faces at weddings -- I know the people who do it think it's all in good fun, but it looks so disrespectful to me, and leaves a bad taste in my mouth. I'm always relieved when they kindly feed each other a bite of cake instead.

Regarding birthday spankings, we didn't really do that in my family, but it was a really well-known tradition in my area growing up. In fact, my kindergarten teacher had the school janitor come in and spank the birthday child! And nobody thought that was weird -- it was like this beloved tradition. I still remember that his name was Adrian and that he was a really nice, caring man. But can you imagine that being okay with anybody these days???
post #47 of 66
Quote:
Originally Posted by Caneel View Post
I think cake smashing/pushing by grown, newly married adults was bad enough!
My thought too . For me, that is a particular wedding "tradition" that has always struck me as bizarre, aggressive, and embarassing for everyone (the couple and everyone watching).

And at my wedding, there is no way I wanted to have to go wash my face and fix up my makeup right when the fun of the party was starting .

Quote:
Seriously, that is just awful.
Yes, mean and totally without class. Oh joy. Call me stuffy/elitist/whatever.

Quote:
Originally Posted by limabean View Post
Regarding birthday spankings, we didn't really do that in my family, but it was a really well-known tradition in my area growing up. In fact, my kindergarten teacher had the school janitor come in and spank the birthday child! And nobody thought that was weird -- it was like this beloved tradition. I still remember that his name was Adrian and that he was a really nice, caring man. But can you imagine that being okay with anybody these days???
Yeah, its weird. We didn't do birthday spankings in my (incidently AP/NFL) family either, though I think we knew of the tradition and had heard (somewhere) the phrase "and a pinch to grow an inch." That said, I do have a weird but semi-vivid memory of one of my older sister's birthday parties (she was probably around 8) when all the kids were lined up in two lines or something and she had to crawl between them, and they spanked her as she passed by. I can't imagine kids being encouraged to "spank" each other now, and I have no idea who arranged for that at my sister's party.

As a mom, I would be freaked out by any adult who seemed eager to touch my kids tush/"spank" my kid. Birthday "tradition" or not, seemingly "nice person" or not.
post #48 of 66
Never heard of the "smash cake" tradition.

And pushing the cake right into a baby's face? That's just a recipe for cake-phobia. Seriously. Simply awful.
post #49 of 66
My SIL does this. Drives me bat crap crazy.

She only did it once to one of my kids and has never done it again because I let her have it big time. I ripped her a new one for it. I find this "tradition" very mean and very inappropriate.

What do people think is going to happen? I mean I'd cry too if someone shoved my face in a cake.
post #50 of 66
Thread Starter 
My DH's family does the "smash cake" thing as well...I'm not sure how I'm going to work with that. Part of me says why not let them be messy with the cake, the other part is saying that I don't really want them eating a lot a sugar...But it's just one day, so it probably won't hurt.

With the spanking tradition, some of my extended family did that as well. I wasn't a huge fan, and it scared me. Even if you are joking, I don't think it's ok to "threaten" a child with a spanking.
post #51 of 66
Quote:
Originally Posted by ashleyhaugh View Post
now i did that as a teenager, and even as an adult, but for a baby, thats crazy!!!!
Yeah. I've only seen stuff like this done to older kids and adults... sneaking up and putting butter on the birthday person's nose, sneaking in and pulling the birthday person's ear, giving the birthday bumps.... but not to very small children.
post #52 of 66
I've heard of birthday spanking, and birthday bumps (ime, they were usually done to younger siblings by older siblings - not so much by parents).

I've also heard/experienced the "pinch to grow an inch" and the "punch to grow a bunch" (although those were never real punches, ime). They're kind of weird traditions, but never really bothered me. Mind you, I hung out with a crowd in high school who celebrated one another's birthdays by throwing the birthday person in the creek. I guess I had rowdy friends.

Shoving a baby's face into a cake is just messed up. I'm still astonished that anyone would think that was okay. I remember actually being a little disappointed, because my very fastidious little dd didn't get any frosting on herself at her first birthday (a few tiny spots, but that's it), so I didn't get my photo op. But...it wouldn't even have occurred to me to deliberately mess up her face, let alone smash it into the cake!
post #53 of 66
That's seriously messed up. I wouldn't do that to anyone of any age. How is demeaning the birthday person on their special day a tradition?
post #54 of 66
I think it's incredibly crass and tacky when adults do it to one another. How very saw for this baby.

I've heard that doing this kind of thing (like at a wedding) is a sign of repressed hostility. Don't know if it's true or not though.
post #55 of 66
Never heard of this tradition, but seen it a few times at all ages. If someone did that to me, they'd get a fistful up their nose back.

It's super cute and funny when they make a mess of themselves as they eat, but there's nothing funny about having an adult do it to a baby. I'll never, ever understand cake smashing into anyone's face at birthdays or weddings.

The genius who started it all probably was mad at the person they did it to. I dunno, to me it's just someone's passive-aggressive mean streak coming out.

Don't even get me started on whitewashing.:
post #56 of 66
Quote:
Originally Posted by pokeyrin View Post
Don't even get me started on whitewashing.:
How do you mean? I Googled it, but none of the definitions seemed to apply here.
post #57 of 66
Quote:
Originally Posted by limabean View Post
How do you mean? I Googled it, but none of the definitions seemed to apply here.
Don't mean to hijack the thread, sorry.

But white-washing (snow smashed in face...just realized I spelled it wrong in other post) is another thing that some parent's seem to think is really funny (and a tradition) to do to their child when they first experience/play in the snow. To me it's even more mean then the cake smashing, every child I witnessed this done too has cried.
post #58 of 66
Shoving a baby's face into the cake? WTF! That's so cruel. What kind of parent does that? It would boil my blood if I saw it. I would have to speak up and say something even if it created a scene.

I haven't heard of birthday spankings either.

We let DD have big slice of cake from her 1st birthday. She got to eat the slice however she liked. She chose to eat it with her hands. She got messy and we got a lot of good photos of her with chocolate icing around her face and fingers.
post #59 of 66
Pushing his face into the cake is extreme to me. that's weird that they think it is ok to do it to a small baby.
post #60 of 66
Quote:
Originally Posted by JSerene View Post
My family always did the birthday spanking. One swat on the bottom for every year. I thought this was universal, but so far no one's mentioned it. Was it just us? It wasn't a real spanking, but they always teased us that it would be. I never liked this one as a child - made me nervous.
I remember doing birthday spankings when we were little too, but they were in fun and we liked it.

I think it's horrible to smash the baby's face in the cake. I'm all over letting the baby smash it himself but that's just mean.
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