I also have (I hate to use this word) enjoyed reading this thread, simply because I thought I was nuts for feeling terrible towards my brothers' girlfriend.
I think the reason it hurts so much is because of the people we see that have children that aren't giving the children the caring and loving that they need. I love my brother, but he can't do everything himself, but his girlfriend just aggravates me to no end. Ever since my beautiful niece was born, I have wondered what goes through the girls mind, but I can't stand to think of it anymore.
The most bothersome thing about her way of parenting, is the apparent lack of brains, because she has felt since day one that the most she needs to give my niece a bath is every 4-5 days, if not every week or less. I have seen Haley needing a bath EVERY time I have gone back home to visit my family, and it hurts me that they are too "lazy or busy" to give her a bath nightly, especially since she is walking now and has a whole lot more dirt and grime to get into.
Anyway, it's just made me realize that my time will come, or it won't, but never to give up and always understand that there is support for me no matter what happens.
Thanks everyone, who has been through it and survived, and still has their head in the right place. (even if it's a bit goofy like mine