Introvert Mamas? - Page 13

[Starflower]

Hi newcomers.

Whew! Too tired out from play dates to please extroverted child this week.

For the family of origin question:

I have one younger brother. Don't know if he's in/ex - he talks a lot but doesn't have many friends. Parents? A mix, possibly leaning introvert? Not sure. I'd always wanted to be an only child. My brother got all energies and attention and connections from my parents. I felt left on my own to struggle unsupported. (Dad was an alcoholic and brother was undiagnosed bipolar, so hard to tell how things may have been if we'd been a functional family.)

When I was a kid and I needed to talk to my mom about something it was always hard to get to the point I could tell her things. My brother always interrupted everything - to the point of us having to lock the door to keep him out physically, so we could have private time together, but he'd still bang on the door and I'd just give up. Maybe he is an extrovert. In any case, everything seems to be about him. That's why I hate it when he calls me. He won't shut up. Thankfully, his calls are rare. Now when he calls, I have started to tell him I have an appointment or such and have to leave in 30 minutes so I can get him off the phone more easily.

[tabby1678]

Gah Starflower, your brother stresses me out just listening to that! I have a few people in my family like that, but I think they gave up on me years ago. LOL

PurityLake - you live in Alaska, right? In my wildest recluse dreams I live in Alaska - do you like living there? Have you always lived there?

[Aurora]

Hello everyone

I am extremely introverted and I am finally at a place in my life where I like that about myself. I am also very shy and I seem to be a Highly Sensitive Person. I am an INFJ.


My dh and 3 of my 4 children are extroverts. I often dream of heading to a hotel by myself. Sometimes I think of taking my poor little 5yo ds with me. (He is also an introvert and Highly Sensitive.)

Originally Posted by principii

I'm the oldest of four.

Me too.

Originally Posted by treehugz

I have no problem telling dh what I think about the small stuff and practical day-to-day business, but he can go on and on about that kind of stuff and it wears me down. I'm withdrawing to the point where I just don't want to share with him anything that's deep or important to me anymore. What I think about things and how I feel about things are these little treasures that I tuck away somewhere inside... I don't want to share them with somebody who's just going to gloss over them and not appreciate them. It's ironic I guess... I'm 100% introvert according to the tests, but I long for one other person who I can share my deepest thoughts with.

I feel the same way. *sigh*


I am so grateful I found you all!

[Aurora]

Originally Posted by tabby1678

PurityLake - you live in Alaska, right? In my wildest recluse dreams I live in Alaska - do you like living there? Have you always lived there?

This is my wild recluse dream too.

[tabby1678]

Originally Posted by Aurora

This is my wild recluse dream too.

Hey Aurora! I think that 90s show Northern Exposure is responsible for my love of Alaska - until I found out Cicely doesn't actually exist. Oh well, a girl can dream.

[Aurora]

Originally Posted by tabby1678

Hey Aurora! I think that 90s show Northern Exposure is responsible for my love of Alaska - until I found out Cicely doesn't actually exist. Oh well, a girl can dream.

I LOVE that show! I have the first 4 seasons on DVD. I love how everyone is so quirky.

[geek_the_girl]

I love this thread
I am a definite introvert. So is my dh and dd.
The only extrovert I can think of in my family is my dad.

[mom2allofthem]

WOW! Now I know why I'm the way I am. If I don't get my alone time, I'm a total grouch.

[A&A]

My BIL and SIL will be in town this weekend. They're both very talkative, outgoing people and they drain me!

[tabby1678]

Originally Posted by Aurora

I LOVE that show! I have the first 4 seasons on DVD. I love how everyone is so quirky.

That's awesome!!! I got my hubs into it, and I knew we were right for each other when we both unknowingly bought each other Seasons 1&2 for Christmas! You're right - there are so many unabashedly quirky characters!

[tabby1678]

Originally Posted by mom2allofthem

WOW! Now I know why I'm the way I am. If I don't get my alone time, I'm a total grouch.

Me too, but I never really gave it much thought before. I picked up Introvert Power at the library today and I've enjoyed the first couple chapters. The author stresses how being introverted isn't bad, just not as accepted in western society. She says we do a disservice to ourselves when we don't give ourselves time to recharge. Good to know!

I'm so glad I saw this thread and you all got me thinking about this - it's great to come to some sort of acceptance of being the way I am. :

[Samm]

Hi everyone!

I'm curious about something. I was a at a funeral for a really good friend's father . . . and I was thinking, could the whole wake/funeral process be any worse for a grieving introvert? I grieve in private, period . . . and then to have to make mindless chit chat with people who are uncomfortable with death and don't know what to say, but feel they have to talk to you :

Anyone else feel the same??

Samm

[savannah smiles]

Originally Posted by tabby1678

Does it bother you that whenever you do have something you want to be heard, they don't seem truly interested in it - instead they just nod politely then talk more about themselves?

I'm the sounding board for some of my coworkers whenever they have a problem, and I like listening to them and ask a lot of questions to show I'm interested. But when I (very rarely) have something I want to share, I'd appreciate if they sounded at marginally interested.

For me, I tend to get bothered by the fact that the whole time I'm talking, it seems like they're simply waiting for their chance to talk as well instead of really hearing what I have to say. Which is, now that I'm thinking about it, exactly what you said above. Just doesn't make it worth my while to talk most of the time, lol!

[Sustainer]

Originally Posted by Samm

could the whole wake/funeral process be any worse for a grieving introvert? I grieve in private, period . . . and then to have to make mindless chit chat with people ...

Funerals don't do a thing for me. They don't help me at all. If anything, they make it worse. They just upset me.

[Starflower]

Originally Posted by A&A

My BIL and SIL will be in town this weekend. They're both very talkative, outgoing people and they drain me!

Good luck! At least it's just for the weekend - they will go home. I hope you get some good downtime in between conversations. Find an errand to do alone or something? Having company really stresses me out, even if it's people I really like.

Originally Posted by tabby1678

Me too, but I never really gave it much thought before. I picked up Introvert Power at the library today and I've enjoyed the first couple chapters. The author stresses how being introverted isn't bad, just not as accepted in western society. She says we do a disservice to ourselves when we don't give ourselves time to recharge. Good to know!

I'm so glad I saw this thread and you all got me thinking about this - it's great to come to some sort of acceptance of being the way I am. :

I just finished this book and dropped it off at the library tonight. (Had to because someone else had a hold on it - see we're out here!) I really liked the book. The author seemed very authentic and it was personal - a book by a real introvert, easy to relate to.

Originally Posted by Samm

Hi everyone!

I'm curious about something. I was a at a funeral for a really good friend's father . . . and I was thinking, could the whole wake/funeral process be any worse for a grieving introvert? I grieve in private, period . . . and then to have to make mindless chit chat with people who are uncomfortable with death and don't know what to say, but feel they have to talk to you :

Anyone else feel the same??

Samm

I avoid funerals whenever possible. The last time I attended one was about 17 years ago, and I had a panic attack.

I prefer to grieve on my own, in my own way - and not with other people. I'd rather be alone than have a shoulder to cry on. I hate being emotional in front of other people. It just feels too vulnerable.


And here's something good that happened today: Extrovert DD and I had a rough day today. I was grumpy. DH came home and asked what I wanted to do for dinner. I paused a moment and said, "actually, I'd like to go out for dinner - by myself." He wished me a nice dinner. I grabbed a burrito but didn't feel like being in the hub-bub of a restaurant, so I got it to go and listed to BBC World News in my car. Then I went to the library. I felt much better, DD and DH had some time together and everyone was in a better mood when I got home.

[Autumn C.]

Originally Posted by Samm

Hi everyone!

I'm curious about something. I was a at a funeral for a really good friend's father . . . and I was thinking, could the whole wake/funeral process be any worse for a grieving introvert? I grieve in private, period . . . and then to have to make mindless chit chat with people who are uncomfortable with death and don't know what to say, but feel they have to talk to you :

Anyone else feel the same??

Samm

Finally! Someone who understands! I Hate funerals WAY more than I hate parties. Amd I don't like parties.

[tabby1678]

Originally Posted by Starflower

And here's something good that happened today: Extrovert DD and I had a rough day today. I was grumpy. DH came home and asked what I wanted to do for dinner. I paused a moment and said, "actually, I'd like to go out for dinner - by myself." He wished me a nice dinner. I grabbed a burrito but didn't feel like being in the hub-bub of a restaurant, so I got it to go and listed to BBC World News in my car. Then I went to the library. I felt much better, DD and DH had some time together and everyone was in a better mood when I got home.

Good on you! Being in a library is so heavenly. You are expected to be quiet - glorious!

[HappilyEvrAfter]

Originally Posted by Starflower

And here's something good that happened today: Extrovert DD and I had a rough day today. I was grumpy. DH came home and asked what I wanted to do for dinner. I paused a moment and said, "actually, I'd like to go out for dinner - by myself." He wished me a nice dinner. I grabbed a burrito but didn't feel like being in the hub-bub of a restaurant, so I got it to go and listed to BBC World News in my car. Then I went to the library. I felt much better, DD and DH had some time together and everyone was in a better mood when I got home.

:

People I know would call me very weird for thinking that this sounds like pure heaven!!! LOL.

Funerals...hmm, I haven't been to many at all, luckily, but I'm the same. Being around people when I'm super emotionally heightened it pure torture.
Hand in hand with parties....

[HappilyEvrAfter]

This might have been posted already, not sure.

Sorry if it has, but it goes more indepth on the personality types...

http://www.personalitypage.com/

[LucyRev]

Originally Posted by Sustainer

Funerals don't do a thing for me. They don't help me at all. If anything, they make it worse. They just upset me.

When I'm grieving, I appreciate some hugs and sharing feelings with loved ones for a short time, but funerals are way too much. I feel everyone else's pain along with my own. Even if I wasn't close with the person who died, I end up a sobbing mess.

Originally Posted by Starflower

And here's something good that happened today: Extrovert DD and I had a rough day today. I was grumpy. DH came home and asked what I wanted to do for dinner. I paused a moment and said, "actually, I'd like to go out for dinner - by myself." He wished me a nice dinner. I grabbed a burrito but didn't feel like being in the hub-bub of a restaurant, so I got it to go and listed to BBC World News in my car. Then I went to the library. I felt much better, DD and DH had some time together and everyone was in a better mood when I got home.

I have done that too and loved it! Dinner and a movie by myself. I got to the theater early and sat in the parking lot listening to music in the car and sipping my milkshake. :

The sibling question: I have one sister, 2.5 yrs younger. She is extremely extroverted. We went camping together, and she got bored at night and went walking around trying to make new friends with the other campers! That is not something I would ever do. In a zillion years. She's the kind of person who has to be talking to someone all the time. We drive each other crazy. She has always thought there's something wrong with me, or that I have low self esteem or something. I think after 30 yrs, she finally realizes that I am fine. Just different than she is. She is very concerned with how other people think of her, while I'm not. She has hundreds of acquaintances, but few true friends. My parents are both on the introverted side. My mom more than my dad, but I think neither are as much as me. My oldest DD is an innie for sure. My other DD seems to be too, but I could see her being more comfortable with people once her speech gets better.