Introvert Mamas? - Page 33

[Mother Cake]

Originally Posted by Starflower

My SIL just posted on FB that she had a BBQ birthday gathering with 12 of her close friends. Twelve close friends?! I can't imagine having that many "close" friends. I guess she's an extrovert.

[agreenbough]

Starflower, I've seen jokes forwarded by email that the only "spices" used by people in the part of the country my in-laws are from are salt, pepper, and ketchup. Sadly, it seems to be true. They eat the most boring food, loaded with butter and whole milk. There are more stereotypes about the part of the country I'm from, but my side of the family eats everything - foods most people don't like. So in addition to being an introvert, they think I'm strange because I like anchovies and (gasp!!) lima beans!! They are also teetotalers - sometimes I think things might go more smoothly if a little alcohol was involved in those massive get-togethers - haha!

[Ella-6]

Hi, I haven't posted for a while and now I have a 5 month old!

...anyways I have a question for introverted mamas regarding joining mothers groups etc. Did you enjoy it or at least get something out of it?

I'm thinking of joining a breastfeeding mothers group in the local area. I hesitate because it would mean giving up the freedom that comes from not knowing anyone locally. Up until now I could go out and never have to stop and chit chat with anyone. But now that I have a child that will change at some stage, i.e. kindergarten.

My doctor, mil and dear friend have all suggested it.

What do you think? Perspectives?

[Starflower]

Ella-6

Congratulations on your baby!

I think baby groups/classes, etc can be useful. I joined a baby class at the hospital where everyone sat around nursing and asking questions about babies and stuff. Since it was all baby info it didn't feel like mindless chit-chat. The info was good (ironically, the hospital classes suggested co-sleeping and AP practices) and it got me out of the house.

There were a few play groups that formed out of it, but no one had to be involved. I am not in touch with any of them now unless I run into them in town - which is rare - though we used to some babysitting trades for awhile.

I think it depends on what kind of support you have where you are and what you feel like you need. I am in an area far away from all family so I do feel like I need some support. I never did try LLL though I did do CLW with DD.

If you think you might like to try a group, why not try it out? If not, then I wouldn't worry about it.

___________________________________________
OT: It's almost 3 a.m. and I am really tired because I just got back from the emergency vet with my dog who is very sick. I'll be taking her to her regular vet in a few hours to try to figure out what is going on with her and she will need some fluids.

[Ella-6]

Starflower, you managed to make it sound... appealing. How did you do that? I don't have much support other than dh, so maybe I should go.

On your other note: dehydration in animals is def. a concern. Hope your furball feels better soon!

[Starflower]

Ella-6 I used to work in advertising. lol But it's been 15 years and I wouldn't suggest anything I didn't actually think was worthwhile - which is why I no longer work in advertising.

Update on my furball: we took her to her regular vet. She is OK as far as fluids. She is now eating again and has resumed drinking water. She seems to have had a bit of a bowel obstruction from eating sand & wood chips, which means I have to watch her like a hawk every time she goes out. Also waiting for her to go poo to make sure things are still moving.

Now I am a bit concerned about an eye goober she has. I've washed it off. Her eye seems OK but has some stuff at the corner. If it's still gunky in the morning, I'm supposed to bring her back in.

[Starflower]

My dog has pink eye. Bleah. But at least that's it. She's doing much better now.

More on topic, my cousin announced on FB that she is going on vacation in a few days - in my state. I don't think she plans to visit me or contact me at all. This bothers me a bit, though really, when I think about it, I have no idea what we'd talk about anyway since we're so different. I think she wrote me off as a stiff or a party pooper after our family reunion in 2008 because I didn't want to go out bar-hopping with her and the other cousins. She is the oldest, a couple months older than me. Many of the others are in their twenties. I just didn't want to go out partying. I didn't even like doing that when I was in college.

I asked her on FB what area she was visiting. So far, no reply. I really get the sense she is avoiding me. Now I need to figure out why I care.

I really think FB is a PITA. I have only been keeping it because it's the only way I've been able to keep in touch with a couple people I actually really do care about. Most everyone else is just acquaintances. I guess my cousin kind of fits into this category as well even though we are related.

[FallenofTrack]

Originally Posted by Starflower

My dog has pink eye. Bleah. But at least that's it. She's doing much better now.

More on topic, my cousin announced on FB that she is going on vacation in a few days - in my state. I don't think she plans to visit me or contact me at all. This bothers me a bit, though really, when I think about it, I have no idea what we'd talk about anyway since we're so different. I think she wrote me off as a stiff or a party pooper after our family reunion in 2008 because I didn't want to go out bar-hopping with her and the other cousins. She is the oldest, a couple months older than me. Many of the others are in their twenties. I just didn't want to go out partying. I didn't even like doing that when I was in college.

I asked her on FB what area she was visiting. So far, no reply. I really get the sense she is avoiding me. Now I need to figure out why I care.

I really think FB is a PITA. I have only been keeping it because it's the only way I've been able to keep in touch with a couple people I actually really do care about. Most everyone else is just acquaintances. I guess my cousin kind of fits into this category as well even though we are related.

Hey, Starflower, I can totally relate to your feelings about FB. I signed up for it last year, and so far I really haven't been on there that much, because I don't have that many people to keep in touch with. When I initially signed up for FB, my main purpose was to reconnect with some people from highschool, and a couple of people as far back as middle school. I added several friends and family members, but I barely keep in touch with any of these people, so there is really no point in even having the account.

A couple of weeks ago, a half brother whom I had heard about but never met, decided to send me a friend request. I was shocked to receive the request. I accepted the request, and he and I got a chance to talk to each other. This was probably the one time that I was really happy that I had signed up for FB. But once he and I talked a couple of times, I realized that he and I probably weren't going to be keeping in touch. I just got a feeling that even though we had those initial conversations, I probably wouldn't hear from him all that much. So once again, I am thinking of just deactivating my account and calling it a day in terms of FB.

[Starflower]

I went to a party last night. It was OK. Had two in-depth and interesting conversations amongst having the same exact chit-chat conversation with everyone else. I did know everyone but one person and it wasn't huge so that was good.

Tonight we went to a family night potluck at our UU church. Not too many people. I did OK and ended up getting some decent conversation with another introvert afterward. The kids weren't too noisy for a change so that helped too.

However, I was very sleepy and tired at the beginning of both events. I'm wondering if it was a blood sugar thing, a not-enough-sleep thing or maybe my way of trying to check out in extroverted situations. Probably a combo of some sort.

I still think it's weird that I need more alone time AND more IRL social time than my DH. He's fine with parties, festivals, concerts, etc. He doesn't seek out friends though he likes it when he spends time with people.

Anyway, just over here pondering as usual.

[laehmichal]

oh my GOD am I happy to have found this thread!! It is so nice just to see that I'm not crazy for being the way I am! I have recently been criticized - quite harshly - by an old friend for my 'attitude about anything even remotely social', so it is very validating to read through all your posts and see that others don't enjoy the same social settings that take such a toll on me. I will be following this thread closely! Finding balance between my internal solace and support being home with the littles (dh works 2 jobs, and while he is awesome his support comes in small exposure) has been difficult, and important for me to juggle. Looking forward to learning from you - thanks again for this thread!!!

[Starflower]

Welcome, laehmichal

[Galatea]

FB irritates me, too. I feel like everyone's status updates are designed to show off in some way... like what part of myself can I inappropriately reveal in order to receive attention today???

[irisheyes66]

Originally Posted by treehugz

I got another book, Party of One: The Loner's Manifesto, that I'm hoping to read after this one.

Quoting an old post here...but I picked up this book and wow, it's as if the author "knows" me. It's THAT relevant to my lifestyle/mindset. *highly recommend*

So glad to find this thread; I am pretty much a lurker here at MDC, but this thread caught my eye and I found myself nodding in agreement quite often

Like most introverts, I am quite content in my solitude...those closest to me accept me as I am, even if they don't understand "why" I prefer my own company to a busy social circle. However, I am still made to feel like some huge oddball when it comes to co-workers, holidays or dating (and choice to avoid/not participate in all three of these).

It's just nice to know I am not alone in my "innie" nature.

[spiderdust]

I was almost too introverted to join this thread... but somehow I have a feeling people might understand how I'm semi-serious about that.

[Starflower]

spiderdust and irisheyes66


I am fantasizing about an introvert's night out - at a hotel. I really want a break. Unfortunately, we can't afford it right now. I'm in the midst of birthday party prep for DD's party on Sunday. I'm dancing at a show on Sat. DD has been a complete pill the past week, the house is a mess and I seem to be getting a cold. Oh,yeah. And we're going on vacation next week - a family visit vacation out of state. Ack!

I keep thinking of those old commercials - "Calgon...take me away" but I'd have to clean the tub and then convince DD not to knock on the door.

One day I am going to get a hotel night to myself. Or a B&B in the mountains.

[treehugz]

Originally Posted by Starflower

I keep thinking of those old commercials - "Calgon...take me away" but I'd have to clean the tub and then convince DD not to knock on the door.

One day I am going to get a hotel night to myself. Or a B&B in the mountains.

Ah, the Calgon fantasy... also one of my favorites. Just reminded me of when I rented a cabin in the mountains, complete with hot tub and gorgeous view, for a week once ... just me and my cat ... bliss ... that was pre-kids, though.

[spiderdust]

Oh, that sounds wonderful... I wish I could do something like that, just for a couple of days.

[pebbles]

I am also a lurker on this thread and can so relate to many mammas here.

My ds is 20 months and although he is also (I believe) introverted wants so badly to play with our 2 year old neighbor. He has been yelling out the window whenever he sees her and I feel horrible for not wanting to take him out to play. I don't feel very comfortable around her parents (they seem nice enough) they are just very social, have many friends and many gatherings which we are not a part of. I feel bad for my ds.

[goldenwillow]

Ahhh.... nice to find this thread.

Ella-6--- I have an 11 month old son. I went to the LLL meetings before I had him as a recommendation from my midwife and found it a great resource. Those meetings in my area are once a month, no problem. I then felt necessary to go to 2 other groups so my Son could play, (or so I could get out of the house!) which was really positive. Slowly, I started getting sucked into all the drama and slowly backed off the 2 groups and only attend the monthly LLL. I feel sooo much better now. My Son has a few impromptu play times when we hit the Co-Op and run into other mamas and kids. I was grateful to exchange a few email addresses with mamas that were like myself.

[Ella-6]

Thanks Xantho,
It's funny I haven't done anything about it yet.

Although I did start venturing out of the house this week with ds. He seems really ready to interact with the environment outside our door, looking around at everything with real interest - which is sweet to watch.

Gratefully his sleep regression has ended, so he's more likely to be happy and predictable regarding naps and the like.