I definitely fit the description! :)
Introvert Mamas? - Page 40
Howdy. I'm a major introvert too, and have been thinking about it a lot lately. I'm married to a major introvert, and I have no idea how I'd survive otherwise. We barely even talk in the evenings and it's lovely. :D My DD is a shy extrovert who spends most of her days within 5 inches of me and at age 4.5 still won't play by herself because she hates it. DS is nearly 10 months old, and happily crawls off in another room to play by himself. I usually test as INFJ, but sometimes INTJ. I think I used to be more T but being a mother has moved me a little more to the F side. I'm happiest only leaving the house about 2 or 3 days a week and I have no idea how people go out every single day. Happy to see this thread!
Found this, and took a Myer-Briggs free online test and it was the same as it was several years ago:
Introverted (I) 78.79% Extroverted (E) 21.21%
Intuitive (N) 70.27% Sensing (S) 29.73%
Feeling (F) 71.05% Thinking (T) 28.95%
Perceiving (P) 77.14% Judging (J) 22.86%
Your type is: INFP
INFP - "Questor". High capacity for caring. Emotional face to the world. High sense of honor derived from internal values. 4.4% of total population.
I read about the first ten pages of this thread, and the last few...will have to go back through and read more when I have time, checking out links and reading some of the books that have been mentioned. I think I'll start with the Introvert Advantage, then The Happy Introvert.
What is your favorite and most helpful book on this subject?
Have you ever arranged playdates for your 4 yr old?
You're a mother who cares about your daughter's wellbeing and as such you want to provide for all of her needs. Amongst other things, providing a comfortable home would make sense to you. But, you can only do whatever you can with what time and money permits and some peoplle may not get that.
Isn't funny though how hard we can be on ourselves on how easy we can be on others. I was at a neighbours house with DS recently (they've recently moved in) and the piles of laundry in their spare concerned them more than it did me. I wonder if the shoe was on the other foot how I would have felt?
It sounds ridiculous I'm sure, but I'm just not confident enough to inviting somebody who I know on an aquaintance basis only to our house. The weather is terrible lately so parks are out of the question for location. I just hate having people over for fear of being of being judged. Our walls need painting, there's duct tape on our couch, our floor is warped. We don't have the time or money to fix these problems any time soon. But I need to get over my fears so my daughter can makes some friends. I don't know why this is so difficult for me. Have you ever arranged playdates for your 4 yr old?
Can so relate to this post CuddleBugsMama! My sensitive, anxious girl is only 3, and I would do anything to help her avoid the social anxiety I have, if I could just get out of my own way! I'd love to find a group of friendly introverts who support each other in my area.
I've met moms and their kids at parks and such who seem nice enough, but haven't worked up the nerve yet to invite them over. Our home is tidy but needs lots of repairs. How do you guys model friend-building for your kids as introverts?
Btw I'm so glad to see this thread is active again!
Nope, not ridiculous. I HATE having people in my house, especially if I don't know them well. We live in a small house (~650sqft) and with two kids it's always a mess. It's fine for the four of us, but when we have people over, there just isn't any room for everybody to sit or play. We usually get together with friends at the park.
I'm a huge introvert, and none of my close friends have children. I despise the artificial, kid-centered, awkward things called "play dates" (not judging... just saying I personally hate them). A few years ago I put myself out there to find mom-friends. It wasn't easy, and there was much social awkwardness and discomfort on my part, but after a year or so, I really hit it off with one mom and we've become good friends. We get together once a week and our kids play.... great for me and good for our kids.
Glad this thread is brought back to life. One struggle I've had lately has been finding any alone time. Staying home with two kids, I can never get away, not even in the bathroom. My 5 year old wants to talk or sing ALL the time and my 1 year old is always running or clinging or bouncing or screaming. I've got sensory overload in a big way. I'm so exhausted in the evenings I just fall into bed. Peace and quiet seems far in the distant past or future.
Another struggle I have is feeling torn between my kids. I miss the one-on-one relationship I had with my daughter. Since my son was born I feel like I don't get to know him as much as I did my dd... and like my daughter has been short-changed and isn't getting enough of me anymore (I think she feels this way too)... like I don't get to really know either of them very deeply now. I cherish the times when I'm only with one of them and I somehow am able to "see" them more clearly and enjoy them more... I feel like I'm just not at my best when I'm with them both. Does that make sense??
I know exactly how you feel about not getting that quiet space that I need. I still just have one kid, but she's the talking all the time type, and it's really hard. I can only imagine how it would feel with 2. My issue is actually with DD's dad. I feel like I don't have any mental space for him. By the end of the day with my daughter, I just want to be alone, and I get all annoyed with him for stupid stuff like breathing weird and chewing loudly. Honestly, I just wish I had my own apartment to retreat to after he gets home. If we're going to be alone-together, I'd really rather just be alone. I feel like the only down-time I have is compromised by another presence, even if he's just sleeping on the couch, and then I don't get the recharge that I really need. Needless to say, it's not very good for our relationship :(
By the end of the day with my daughter, I just want to be alone, and I get all annoyed with him for stupid stuff like breathing weird and chewing loudly. Honestly, I just wish I had my own apartment to retreat to after he gets home. If we're going to be alone-together, I'd really rather just be alone.
Hah! Ditto! I thought I was the only who got annoyed with breathing weird and chewing loudly! Dh is as bad as the kids sometimes with the never-ending questions and tapping and ugh, I swear dh purposely turns the pages of his book with gusto to make that crackly sound to bug me when he should know I need silence to think. Oh, and then to feign innocence and get defensive when I call him on it... the nerve! Lol. Really, if I don't get my alone time, I'm impossible to live with.
I totally agree about the being alone together thing... it would be awesome if I could just have the house to myself sometime.