Anyone come out while married?

[VisionaryMom]

I'm facing this right now - not sure what I'm going to do. I'm just wondering if anyone else has BTDT, and of course advice would be appreciated.

[deny_zoo29]

Yes, I did. I was married (to a man) for 5 years but about 3 years into it I fell head over heals in love with my best friend and the little issues my marriage had, started becoming bigger and bigger, I started realizing that everything I was missing and longing for in my marriage I had with Kate. I began a relationship with Kate and my husband knew about it from the first day we kissed. I told him I wasn't sure where it was going to lead but I wanted to find out. Eventually I started splitting my time between my house with my husband and Kate's house (3 days here, 4 days there, my husband traveled a lot for his job so it made this part less strange). After doing that for almost a year my husband and I decided it was time to divorce as I had made my decision to be with Kate. He actually said "I won't make you choose between her and me because I already know what your answer will be, so I think it's time we end this legally"
I still talk to my ex-husband on the phone or in e-mail a couple times a month. Kate and I have have now been together for 3 1/2 years and are very happy. I never thought I'd be with a woman but I'm sure glad I am! :-)

[VisionaryMom]

Thank you for sharing your story.

My husband knows that this is something going on with me, and he's really supportive of whatever I decide. I've identified as bisexual for about 8 years, so the idea's not coming from left field. His suggestion is that we'd stay married, but I don't know how that would work. I love my husband dearly, and I'd love to be able to save that. Our marriage really doesn't have a lot of problems, which I think makes it all a bit more weird.

[herbalmommy]

I am going through this situation right now. I still don't know exactly what I am (bisexual, lesbian). My husband is super supportive which is great but it still has been really hard. We have 3 small children which makes it seem so much harder.

So, I have a question, and please know that this is no way comes from a place of judgement. I'm just really trying to find the authentic me and am considering everything at this point. Do you think that someone who identifies as bisexual could ever have a fulfilling life lone, monogamous partner? I have a hard time with gray areas in general and this is, by far, the biggest one I've ever considered. Ultimately I do want a life partner but it seems to me that if i were bisexual I would always be longing for what I didn't have, sexually. Can anyone relate to this or add something?

Thanks a lot,
Laura

[VisionaryMom]

I have an open marriage. That makes my situation a bit different but is what works best for us. As I said in a previous post, I've identified as bisexual for about 8 years. I've had female sexual partners, and my husband has no problem with that. I do sometimes feel a void in terms of intimacy that I believe I wouldn't feel if I were to have a female partner. I just don't personally like the idea of a polyamorous relationship and have no real, lasting desire for an emotional connection outside of my marriage.

[JustAnotherJenny]

There's also another thread going on about this over here.

I've went through this and I have come out the other side of it. I wrote a bit about it at the other thread. Feel free to PM me if you want to chat more about it... you can also grab my AIM in my profile.