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The Duggars are coming! The Duggars are coming! - Page 12

post #221 of 362
Quote:
Originally Posted by magstphil View Post
When DH and I were Josh and Anna's age we were welcoming Baby #2. Actually by Josh's age we were on #3. I just realized he is only a year younger than us. Crazy.

So to me they seem like a nice ripe age
Yeah, I'm the same age as Josh and while I would classify myself as "young" I wouldn't say that I'm so young it's worrisome for me to have a child...
post #222 of 362
Quote:
Originally Posted by tinyactsofcharity View Post
Yeah, I'm the same age as Josh and while I would classify myself as "young" I wouldn't say that I'm so young it's worrisome for me to have a child...
Pretty much. I'm only a couple of years older then Josh. At his age I had an 8 year old step-daughter.
post #223 of 362
I don't care about their biological ages (I know lots of great young parents) I just feel like their marriage is so so young. IMO the marriage needs time to mature before you add the humongous responsibility of kids. Sometimes I feel like there is a cult of childbearing going on in that world and that the act getting and being pregnant is seen as more important than the human it produces... but that's just my opinion.
post #224 of 362
Also, and this is probably just specific to my own personal experience with end of life care but I didn't like seeing the way they were wheeling Jimbob's father around (that was his father, right?) during that birthday party. I know they were trying to throw a party for his birthday but I felt like they were treating him like a toddler and it seemed undignified to me; he looked scared and confused with that light right in his face wheeling around in that office chair.
post #225 of 362
I was married at 19 and had my first baby at 20. I feel like it actually strengthened our marriage. It brought our marriage meaning and purpose. '

I actually love the way that they have taken in Grandma and Grandpa. I live far away from my parents so I am not sure we will ever have that type of opportunity. What I really like about the Duggars is what you see is what you get. They truly love their family and you could just see how excited they were to be Grandparents for the first time.
post #226 of 362
Although I like the Duggars in general I am not liking how stagy the show is becoming. Josh calling the producer to come over and film his announcement to Anna, and the way they all had to do the line-up thing so that he could announce to the family. His father-in-law even made a comment during that phone call when Josh said they had to wait to get everyone together and he said something like, "So the camera can film it, right?" I actually felt bad for Anna because she was obviously caught-up in the emotion of the situation but Josh seemed to be trying to maintain his camera persona.

I much prefer the candid day-to-day life shots. And have you noticed how they don't "break ranks" even when something like this happens? I noticed it when Michelle announced last time on the Today show, they clap and smile but the kids don't leave the line to give hugs or anything, at least not while the cameras are filming.

On another note, I realize the Bates were a HUGE help in clearing the trees and such, but can you imagine being without power for a week with no idea when it will be back and then deciding, "Hey, let's add another 20 people to the chaos." Wow! I'd be looking for friends or relatives to GO visit at that point, hosting would never cross mind!
post #227 of 362
Quote:
Originally Posted by Carolinamidwife View Post
I don't care about their biological ages (I know lots of great young parents) I just feel like their marriage is so so young. IMO the marriage needs time to mature before you add the humongous responsibility of kids. Sometimes I feel like there is a cult of childbearing going on in that world and that the act getting and being pregnant is seen as more important than the human it produces... but that's just my opinion.
My husband was born 10 months after my in laws were married. He was a suprise. But he is now 27 and they have been married 28 years and still happy as ever! So I realize it can ruin marriages sometimes but not always and thats what you have to think about too. . .


Quote:
Originally Posted by Carolinamidwife View Post
Also, and this is probably just specific to my own personal experience with end of life care but I didn't like seeing the way they were wheeling Jimbob's father around (that was his father, right?) during that birthday party. I know they were trying to throw a party for his birthday but I felt like they were treating him like a toddler and it seemed undignified to me; he looked scared and confused with that light right in his face wheeling around in that office chair.
My grandpa is sick and reminds me of Jim bobs father and honestly we have to treat him like a toddler. There minds dont comprehend like a adult anymore. It may seem undignified but when your in the midst of dealing with this all and you are talking with them on a daily basis it just becomes normal.
post #228 of 362
Quote:
Originally Posted by Carolinamidwife View Post
I don't care about their biological ages (I know lots of great young parents) I just feel like their marriage is so so young. IMO the marriage needs time to mature before you add the humongous responsibility of kids. Sometimes I feel like there is a cult of childbearing going on in that world and that the act getting and being pregnant is seen as more important than the human it produces... but that's just my opinion.
I get what you are saying. My advice to new couples (only when they ask of course) is to wait and get to know eachother before having babies. But IMO it just makes it harder not necessarily impossible. DH and I are looking forward to being newlyweds again after the babies grow a little.
post #229 of 362
Our first was born 9 months after our wedding. :

Some people *may* view children as trophies or a competition. : I don't actually know any QF people who do, though, and I doubt the Duggars do. We view them as blessings and the natural fruit of married love, to be hoped for and rejoiced in. Knowing the kind of beliefs the Duggars and Anna's family have, and being similar in some areas, I do not think that having children early on in marriage has the same implications that it may have for more typical American youth. They basically spent their whole childhoods obvserving responsible, self-sacrificial adulthood and being taught and encouraged to do the same at a very early age compared to the rest of society.

Though, I'm sure it would probably be satisfying and cathartic to a lot of people to see them fail and collapse and maybe have a tell-all book come out from one of the children. I think there is an assumption that there must be some hidden awfulness because family just can't be that good. :
post #230 of 362
I've never been a big Duggar fan or naysayer, we sometimes watch the show and I have enjoyed seeing the older girls looking a little more "with it", but I have to say the way Josh handled the pregnancy announcement was inappropriate and over the top. We had to turn it when he told Anna, "you're on the Mommy Team". My DH was just like, that's it, it's off. Calling the producer so the show knows before Anna's family or even Anna? I really think Josh is so caught up in living his life on film, his proposal to Anna, wedding, etc. He needs to get on with his married and soon to be parenting life and turn the cameras off. It's like it's not real for him if the production team isn't there to validate what's happening. And really, I'm surprised it took them this long to get pregnant, it's not like "wow, what a shock". They told the world they would not be using birth control.
It's great that Jimbob's parents were able to move in and have extra support, but we also thought Jimbob's fathers dignity was not at all protected with the footage shown.
post #231 of 362
Quote:
we also thought Jimbob's fathers dignity was not at all protected with the footage shown.
I just don't believe the way to treat a dieing person is to hide them away. I think we show true dignity when we are willing to face them like they are still the people we know and love- because they are. What I saw was a family honoring their patriarch and loved one and feeling pride in that so they showed it to the world.
post #232 of 362
I absolutely agree with having ill and/or dying members of the family still being treated as valuable members of the families included in activites and not hidden away. My opionion differs in what you show on national television and what the family members' privacy level was before they were incapacitated in making a choice. Maybe Jimbob's father would have been fine being shown on television in the conditon he's in and the point they were trying to make. I suppose because I have elderly parents, both of which are cancer survivors with one recently in remission, it hits close to home for me. I just know my father would be apalled if we were filming him and showing him in the same type of physical shape Jimbob's father was in. Before anyone mentions it, I understand the normal ageing process and the disease process and I'm not saying there should be shame associated with any of it as it is all normal, for many it's just important to feel their privacy and dignity is preserved.
post #233 of 362
I guess the thing is that the only people who can really comment on that are those involved, so as viewers we can either take their actions as a commentary that it's what his father would have wanted, or take it as a commentary that they didn't care what his father wanted ....... but both are equally assumptions. Obviously no one here knows the man to say.
post #234 of 362
Quote:
Originally Posted by Liquesce View Post
I guess the thing is that the only people who can really comment on that are those involved, so as viewers we can either take their actions as a commentary that it's what his father would have wanted, or take it as a commentary that they didn't care what his father wanted ....... but both are equally assumptions. Obviously no one here knows the man to say.
Always the voice of reason.
post #235 of 362
Quote:
Originally Posted by cappuccinosmom View Post
Some people *may* view children as trophies or a competition. : I don't actually know any QF people who do, though, and I doubt the Duggars do. We view them as blessings and the natural fruit of married love, to be hoped for and rejoiced in. Knowing the kind of beliefs the Duggars and Anna's family have, and being similar in some areas, I do not think that having children early on in marriage has the same implications that it may have for more typical American youth. They basically spent their whole childhoods obvserving responsible, self-sacrificial adulthood and being taught and encouraged to do the same at a very early age compared to the rest of society.

Though, I'm sure it would probably be satisfying and cathartic to a lot of people to see them fail and collapse and maybe have a tell-all book come out from one of the children. I think there is an assumption that there must be some hidden awfulness because family just can't be that good. :
I have to say, I agree wholeheartedly with you, cappuccinosmom! Fantastic post. I think this is a perfect point: "We view them as blessings and the natural fruit of married love, to be hoped for and rejoiced in" This sums up completely to me why they are having a baby so "soon" in their marriage & why I think it's perfectly groovy of them to do so. I think they will be very loving parents & I expect their marriage to last many decades longer than the average American marriage.

And on a different note, you know what? I'm just plain old jealous of that whole family! I wish that I had grown up in a family so full of love, values, morals clearly taught.... I wish that I'd known what to look for in a husband (my first husband was NOT a wise choice, but I didn't know any better!). I wish that I knew how to raise my kids with such giving hearts, and sense of responsibility. I wish I had begun my parenting journey with solid beliefs- on religion, parenting in general, what to expect from my spouse, everything! I've been all over the place, all wishy washy & trying to figure it all out from scratch because my parents didn't send me out into the world with teachings anywhere as helpful as what JimBob & Michelle got or the Duggar kids are getting. I pretty much picked up my values & morals from MTV, y'know? And came of age on the outskirts of SanFrancisco where I was engulfed in feminism, promiscuity (I didn't even believe in monogamy), and glammy club life. I've found my dreamy family man (& second husband), moved away from the city & have learned SO much, but I so wish I'd come from such a big, loving, responsible, morals-teaching family! I think it would have saved me so much strife & confusion trying to "figure it all out".

The Duggars are so inspiring to me. I wish I had any idea how to even implement half of what they have to produce such happy, giving, responsible kids.

Ok. I am totally done with my big self absorbed, whiny, jealousy post now . Thanks for reading if you bothered.
post #236 of 362
Aubry



I do personally know that I wouldn't want to find out if I was pregnant on TV. But....I don't feel the need to feel sorry for Anna. The Duggar Thing had been going on for some years before she even met Josh, she saw how life was like for them, and she chose it. Who knows, maybe she even thought it would be cute to do it that way. She's young, after all.
post #237 of 362
Quote:
Originally Posted by magstphil View Post
I just don't believe the way to treat a dieing person is to hide them away. I think we show true dignity when we are willing to face them like they are still the people we know and love- because they are. What I saw was a family honoring their patriarch and loved one and feeling pride in that so they showed it to the world.
I totally agree. we took care of my grandfather as he died and He loved to be part of the crowd but hated feeling like a burden. His worst fear was to be in a room alone... I think that people that have never been in the spotlight or been on tv would think being filmed in that state was horrible... but this man was on camera a lot and I am sure that if he was the kind of man to not want to be filmed that they would honor it. I think the bright light was probably because his eyesight is so diminished... idk... It seemed touching to me... but I worked in a cancer center with a LOT of hospice patients so the sight of a dying person wasnt odd to me... the wide eyes, gaping mouth is very typical at the end of life and it doesnt mean he wasnt fully aware of what was going on.... i think that speaking to him like a toddler can happen when you are dealing with a person losing their hearing because you have to speak louder and clearer, and I know I always struggled with sounding like I was being to stern or too soft... I think the duggars always sound like they are speaking as gentle as possible...




Quote:
Originally Posted by cappuccinosmom View Post
Aubry



I do personally know that I wouldn't want to find out if I was pregnant on TV. But....I don't feel the need to feel sorry for Anna. The Duggar Thing had been going on for some years before she even met Josh, she saw how life was like for them, and she chose it. Who knows, maybe she even thought it would be cute to do it that way. She's young, after all.
i think when you marry in to a family that announces everything on national tv- it would be silly to expect anything less of your own news as a couple...

I have to say, Im not a christian, and so I do not necessarily identify as "QF" but I am pretty close to the pagan version as you can get. With the news of our first pregnancy- which was exactly one month after our wedding- people thought we were crazy!

i say each child is a physical manifestation of the love I share with my husband....why wouldnt I want 17????

my dh wants to stop after 4... but I do not. he gets nervous everytime we watch the show... i think they do a great job with their kids...

i LOVED to see how open they were in having guests with no power!

i especially loved when michelle said something like, "i was up every hour and a half, but i can sleep later... she needs me now" or whatever she said... i really like to see how much she seems to honor the childrens stages.

i cannot believe i just wrote all that....
post #238 of 362
Oh, I wasn't saying the dying should be hidden away... but nor do I believe they should be treated like toddlers. I have been through the long slow decline of two immediate family members and we managed to get them over to the other side without ever treating them like a child. He's a grown man, not a toddler, making him say hi to the cameras when he is clearly unaware of his surroundings and preparing to die is undignified. Believe it or not, the Duggars aren't perfect!
post #239 of 362
I'm under the assumption that he's dying from cancer, not a dementia-related disease. Which makes me think he IS aware of his surroundings, even if he can't show it. Am I wrong?
post #240 of 362
Grandpa Duggar has already passed away, just fyi. =(
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