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Am I being to sensitive? - Page 2

post #21 of 43
I have said to my rude inappropriate neighbor (and Super) , "Please don't talk to me like that" said very confidently.
post #22 of 43
Once he made it personal he completely crossed all lines and boundries. The crude humor about boys not wanting to be born is just that -crass, unappreciated, but not something you wouldn't hear at the store or somewhere. Getting personal about getting you "warmed up", etc. is harassment and a way to verbally violate someone and try to express a sense of power over them. ("You're helpless against me, I could DO that to you and you couldn't stop me" or "I am saying things for shock value because I'm superior to you in that I can say things that will shock you to where you can't reply" type thing.) It goes far beyond poor taste and not knowing your audience and you have every single right to be upset and offended over it. If he ever says things like that to you again (doubtful after your DH talked to him!) I'd look him dead in the eye, head held high, and politely inform him that I do not appreciate such comments, that is beyond neighborly into sexual harassment and any more comments will result in a police report being filed.
post #23 of 43
The only thing he said that was ok was "I know better not to touch a pregnant woman's belly" and that's it. That's all he should have said and then made some small talk or whatever. I can't believe he talked that way in front of your son and his own grown daughter. What was her reaction? If he was my ad I'd be so mad at him. Actually my father has made some pretty stupid remarks to his wife around me that were not appriate at all!
post #24 of 43
my standard "im in shock" response is "you are not allowed to talk to me like that"

....and every time i have used it has been to a man, usually an older man.

he is gross, and i have a crass sense of humor....
post #25 of 43
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by missmich View Post
The only thing he said that was ok was "I know better not to touch a pregnant woman's belly" and that's it. That's all he should have said and then made some small talk or whatever. I can't believe he talked that way in front of your son and his own grown daughter. What was her reaction? If he was my ad I'd be so mad at him. Actually my father has made some pretty stupid remarks to his wife around me that were not appriate at all!
His daughter didn't say anything at all. I think she's afraid of him though.
post #26 of 43
Quote:
Originally Posted by Storm Bride View Post
The crudity and crassness of those comments would barely register on me. However, the complete inappropriateness and boundary-crossing of them (esp. the "warming you up" remark) would make me seriously angry.
I could have said the same thing. The words do not bother me, I have been known to say some pretty "crude" things among friends who didn't mind. However I have also slapped someone for saying the same words to me.

It's not the words themselves, it's HOW he said it and what he MEANT by it.

DH would have been bailing me out of jail for sure.

Instead of just standing there when he walked up, you could have gone inside since you said you were already avoiding him and you already expected that sort of thing. Or you might see that as letting him walk all over you. It's really up to you and how confrontational you want to be. Are you afraid of him?
post #27 of 43
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by oneKnight View Post
I could have said the same thing. The words do not bother me, I have been known to say some pretty "crude" things among friends who didn't mind. However I have also slapped someone for saying the same words to me.

It's not the words themselves, it's HOW he said it and what he MEANT by it.

DH would have been bailing me out of jail for sure.

Instead of just standing there when he walked up, you could have gone inside since you said you were already avoiding him and you already expected that sort of thing. Or you might see that as letting him walk all over you. It's really up to you and how confrontational you want to be. Are you afraid of him?
Afraid? I don't think so, but maybe I am. He reminds me very much of my step-dad and I was afraid of him. My step-dad was very harsh with me and I think that is why I have such a hard time with confrontation. My other friend/neighbor who was there is also not good with confrontation and her father was the same way. It is amazing to me how people can pick up on stuff like that.
post #28 of 43
I have a crude type of humor. I can laugh and things only 14 year old boys find funny. But what he said to you was way off and I would have been offended.
post #29 of 43
You are definitely not over reacting.

If you have to see him again perhaps you should mention that nice stun gun your DH got you for Christmas.......

In all seriousness, I don't think you should be worried about future meetings with this guy. Guys like that either totally don't get how inappropriate they are or they want to push to see how far they can get away with. Once someone "pushes back" - like your DH - they stop pushing.

(Yes there really are perverts in the world and I would keep my eye on him. I just think more often than not they are just little gross boys in big boy bodies.)
post #30 of 43
You should have mooned him.
post #31 of 43
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ackray View Post
You should have mooned him.
:

:
post #32 of 43
Oh my goodness. I would be completely shocked and embarrassed. I'm sorry you have to deal with this man. Hopefully your dh straightened him out.
post #33 of 43
When I first read the comment about what he said about your son and his pants, I was thinking "Well, that's a stupid thing to say, but I wouldn't get too worked up about it. But note to self: never leave my son unattended around this man."

When I read the comment about boys not wanting to come out, I thought "Well, another stupid thing to say, but some people are idiots."

When I read the next comment I about choked. "Warm me up for my husband?!?!?!" That is just gross.
post #34 of 43
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ackray View Post
You should have mooned him.
He would have enjoyed that too much. I have given him the benefit of the dought so many times. My other neighbor ladies have complained about what a creep he was and I always defended him. No more of that. I know better now.
post #35 of 43
Quote:
Originally Posted by SunshineJ View Post
If he ever says things like that to you again (doubtful after your DH talked to him!) I'd look him dead in the eye, head held high, and politely inform him that I do not appreciate such comments, that is beyond neighborly into sexual harassment and any more comments will result in a police report being filed.
This. Exactly. Only the "politely" part may be beyond my capabilities in the moment.
post #36 of 43
Quote:
Originally Posted by homewithtwinsmama View Post
He is a jerk and your husband a keeper!
:
post #37 of 43
What he is saying is inappropriate and rude. It is a good idea to avoid him or tell him directly to stop talking like that to you.
post #38 of 43
I.am.absolutely.shocked.

I cannot imagine someone saying any of that stuff to me. I can understand that you didn't say anything back...you were probably in shock. That guy is a MAJOR UAV. I wouldn't go any where near him again...
post #39 of 43
Quote:
Originally Posted by LavenderMae View Post
No, you aren't being too sensitve. He sounds like a boundary crossing creep.
yeah that.
post #40 of 43
Um, no. Definitely not over sensitive! At the 'warm up' comment I'd have probably been inclined to comment "Well that's pretty damn close to impossible, since I find you to be an offensive pig." and THEN turned my dh loose on him if necessary. I just totally do NOT get why any man would think himself entitled to make such comments to any woman
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