UK Mamas, what do we need to know?

[Kristina77]

Hi everyone!

So, we are moving to England in the spring. We have two kids, DD 6 yrs and DS 9 months old. We do NOT vaccinate. I was wondering how hard it will be for us to get DD into school? What's the process and how long does it take? Could she start in September....also, is it easy to find a doctor in England who is okay with people who are anti vax and against circumcision?
First we'll be in the London area.
Anything else you mamas think we should know about?
Every and any information would be extremely helpful to us and highly
appreciated!!

TIA ladies in the UK

[orangefoot]

Not vaxing is not a problem and not circing is absolutely normal so don't worry about that at all. You'd have to go out of your way to find someone to circ your child in fact.

School doesn't care if you are vaxed or not and no proof of anything is needed. Your dd would be a 'late' joiner to school as most start in the term they turn 5yo. I think schools consider applications from children from overseas on its own merit so look at the schools nearest to where you are going to live and book to visit them in the spring. Our school year ends towards the end of July so don't leave it til August!

[NW6Londonmum]

Vaxing is unlikely to be much of an issue. The school certainly won't care but you may find it hard to find a GP who doesn't give you a little lecture. In London, measles is currently hitting the news and some local authorities are sending flyers to every home.

You will find a school place but it depends a lot on the area as to how easy it will be to get into a good school. The better ones tend to have waiting lists. I was a primary school teacher in Central London for 9 years and currently have my son in school so if you are comfortable giving me a neighbourhood I can give you some more detailed information.

If you find a school with a place it can be immediate i.e. she could start in a matter of days. You would need to physically visit the school and fill out some forms. You could start to ask about places and set up visit appointments now. She certainly wouldn't need to wait until September. It's possible to start at any time if there is a place.

Circumcision - that's an easy one. NOT circumcising is the NORM here. Circumcision is only really done for religious reasons or for RARE medical reasons. A doctor would think it odd if it was done for other reasons - although if you are American it wouldn't surprise them. For most families circumcision isn't something they spend any time thinking about as of course they won't do it. It would be like deciding whether to trim your child's earlobes - really not something we would spend time thinking about. The uncircumcised penis is what your doctor would EXPECT to see.

[flapjack]

I've never had a problem with GPs and vaxes. They tend to ask for their records but are very comfortable with the "we're delaying, will let you know when we're ready" line. I have had hospital doctors push for a flu jab/pneumococcal for Isaac, who has asthma, but that's it. Oh, and I got a lengthy lecture on the barbarity of circumcision when I asked if there was a benefit to having it done in infancy considering my ex's family has a strong history of phimosis. You need to know, though, that most GPs expect foreskins to be retractable at 5, and this IS on the preschool check- they'll ask, won't expect a demonstration.
School places, you're probably looking at days. At primary school, I'd say the two most important things to look for are
1) Avoiding a school with a no-blame bullying policy (there aren't many, but this can make your child's life hell.
2) Actively searching out a school with a real commitment to inclusion.
Failing schools can actually provide good educations to the children who are committed to learning, and vice versa. Be prepared to advocate for your childrens needs as and when, and to sell your soul to the PTA for the next 11 years.

[NW6Londonmum]

I'm surprised by your retraction comment, Flapjack. NEVER heard of that. Could it be related to your PCT? Where are you?

[Kristina77]

Hi Ladies,

just wanted to stop by and thank you ALL for the info!
We are not Americans, have lived in NYC for the past 10 years, but
I have been very homesick and cannot deal with life away from my family, therefore we've decided to try life in England. Unfortunately, my kids do not speak any other languages, so England seems like the perfect place for them to be out of all countries in Europe. I was very surprised and happy to read that not vaxing isn't a problem in schools in the UK, unlike here in the US. But the fact about retracting the foreskin by age 5 is disappointing. Why do they demand this?
May I ask you ladies about the difference between British Private schools and Public schools? Our DD has been in private school here for the last 2 years, but we are not sure if we canafford a private school once in England.
I do not want to stay in London, I'd love to raise my kids somewhere where it's more quiet. Somewhere where life is more "crunchy"
Any suggestions?

Thank you so much again every one!!

[NW6Londonmum]

I'm going to have to assume the retraction thing is about one area or group of practices as it's not something that happens among my male relatives or friends or with my own son.
This is from the NHS direct website:

Don’t worry if your son’s foreskin is unretractable. The foreskin becomes fully and easily retractable in approximately 98% of boys by 16 years of age. However, this is very variable, can differ in men in the same family and there's no specific age in childhood by which time it should have happened.

In the UK 'public' schools are PRIVATE schools. The term 'public school' historically means fee-paying. The non-paying schools are called State schools. REALLY hard to make black and white statements about the value of a private education TBH. It depends enormously on your local state schools and your own priorities as a parent. It's certainly possible to get a good education without paying money.

[flapjack]

Yeah, the retraction is based on my elder sons' personal experiences. We are on close penis-watch with the doctors because there's a strong family history (no intact men in his dad's family at all- that's very unusual over here) and it was suggested that Isaac should be offered circumcision because he's showing no signs of separation at all and had had a couple of cases of balanitis. Before the balanitis, we were advised to apply hydrocortisone to thin the skin and start the process of separation happening naturally, btw. Since moving, however, our new practice obviously doesn't give a damn.

[Plaid Leopard]

Hi Kristina-

We corresponded a bit by PM a (long)while back. Glad to see you are getting out of NY.

I live in Milton Keynes now, about an hour north of London.
Let me know where you end up and when you arrive and maybe we can meet up someday!

[Kristina77]

yes, yes i do remember you very well. i'll PM you soon.
good to see you're still around
by the way, could be my memory, but weren't you in Germany
back then?