Thanks for the hugs & support everyone. I really appreciate it. Trying to hold it together today for the kids & try not to cry. We're not telling them until we have some idea when he's going, since it could be a few months.
Originally Posted by jdubbelewe
what are your feelings on being a single mom? do you have adequate support around you to help out? please let us know if you need anything!!
Terrified, tbh. At least I'll have a year after the baby comes before I have to worry about whether I'll be able to stay home or have to get a job, though. Well, so long as my benefits stay the same as they have been. I think I need to find something I can do from home to bring in some extra money. And he says if he makes money (he qualifies for disability, but really wants to get into writing), he'll send some for the kids. He was genuinely shocked that I thought he might not. My main concern is, because he's been either WAH or disabled for the kids' whole lives, I've never had to parent alone, really. The closest I've come is when the kids & I go to my mom's & even then, there's another adult.
I have one friend locally. I sent her an email, so I guess I'll find out how she reacts later. Couldn't really tell her on the phone with the kids around. My mom lives a couple hours away but I don't imagine she'll be much help, I don't get on with her very well. I'm not even sure how to tell her. It honestly has crossed my mind not to say anything to her until after he's gone. I also have the local freebirth group that I'm involved with. Wouldn't really say I'm friends with any of them, though, so who knows.
Originally Posted by Goniopal
Just a thought: could this woman come closer to you? Not necessarily easier for you, but a way to keep dad closer for the kids . . .
We've been talking about it. He wants to go there & see if things work out with her before doing anything like having her move here. We talked about him getting citizenship here before he leaves (he's just a permanent resident atm), but it would take a year probably. Don't think I can live like this for that long, even if he'd wait. I think he'll at least get a resident card so he can come back. She's apparently willing to relocate if things work out, so maybe in a couple years, they'd be nearby.
He's talking to her all day every day on his computer. I'm getting past the shock now & getting pissed at what this is going to do to the kids.