3.5 and ballet spectacle? - Page 2

[betsyj]

betsyj, I am kind of offended that someone would be angry to be seated next to my children

And I get very annoyed that people think it is acceptable to take small children to grown up events, where the grown ups have spent mucho bucks to enjoy such a performance. None of this is personal and I love children generally-it is based on less then optimal experiences with young children. Of course there are rude adults-but that hardly justifies adding squirming, talkative young children to the mix as well.

Besides, the ballet performances I am talking about generally begin between 7:30 and 8 pm. Hardly optimal time to bring a toddler out and about.

There are plenty of children's events hosted by most major ballet companies that are appropriate for young children. It is often a moot point anyways since many major companies simply don't allow children under a certain age into evening or repetory performances.

[tayndrewsmama]

I really have to say that there are too many people who bring children to adult events, but don't expect their children to behave like adults. Honestly, if the child cannot be expected to behave as the rest of the audience (i.e. no jumping around, be quiet, no kicking seats, not talking etc...) they do not belong there. Many, many people seem to think that the rest of the world thinks it's cute when Johnny does something silly, but the reality is it's only mom and dad who think it's cute.

[bl987ue]

Put me on the bench that thinks 3.5 is too young for such a long ballet. There is plenty of time for gradual exposure to ballet, through matinee performances and the like, without the expectation of sitting still and being quiet for such a long time. If the performance is a matinee, and you can get seats close to an exit so you can leave at the first sign of trouble, I might say maybe. Maybe.

My son had his first exposure to ballet when he was 6, and he liked it, but there was no way he would have been able to sit through one at the age of 3.5.

[TEAK's Mom]

Originally Posted by betsyj

And I get very annoyed that people think it is acceptable to take small children to grown up events, where the grown ups have spent mucho bucks to enjoy such a performance. Of course there are rude adults-but that hardly justifies adding squirming, talkative young children to the mix as well.

Besides, the ballet performances I am talking about generally begin between 7:30 and 8 pm. Hardly optimal time to bring a toddler out and about.

There are plenty of children's events hosted by most major ballet companies that are appropriate for young children. It is often a moot point anyways since many major companies simply don't allow children under a certain age into evening or repetory performances.

I agree with you that people are entitled to watch a performance without interruption. Absolutely. If a child cannot do that, then they should attend more child-centered performances. There is nothing in the world wrong with not being developmentally ready for classical ballet at age 3 or even age 35. But, some children are ready. They sit still, pay attention, and, because they know that they are being granted a special opportunity, they don't even whisper. I wish you could hear my daughters discuss a performance. My oldest talks about how things are structured and the ways in which one production differs from another. My youngest notices technique and form.

These kids are not prodigies, but they are passionate and interested. I would take them to see any ballet we could afford to see. That said, I would not take my father. He is a wonderful human being, but he falls asleep at ballets and snores.

[GuildJenn]

Originally Posted by TEAK's Mom

These kids are not prodigies, but they are passionate and interested. I would take them to see any ballet we could afford to see. That said, I would not take my father. He is a wonderful human being, but he falls asleep at ballets and snores.

I was that kid too.

However I do have to sadly say that in my experience most (not all, and clearly not you) parents (including me at times) overestimate their kids' tolerance. I think it's partly because we get used to a certain level of ambiant movement and noise, so our "oh he just whispered a little" can be someone else's "ugh."

There was also a thread recently on pushing kids to grow up faster and I've found that I do, myself, have a tendency to want to show my son the Whole World Right Now! Maybe it is in part having lost a child, but I really do have to rein myself in and remind myself that we have many years ahead of us and it is okay to go slowly. So much music and dance and theatre ahead.

OP, not trying to convince you of anything in particular, just rambling - this is a big thing for me obviously! Who knew?

[FiveLittleMonkeys]

I don't think I would take a 3.5 yo to Sleeping Beauty. It is one of the longer lasting productions, and most 3.5 yo's could not sit through it.

Add me to the list who would be miffed if I ended up sitting next to a child who was ill-prepared to sit and watch quietly. On the rare occasion that I get to go see a ballet, I want to enjoy the performance.

I also have girls who dance, and I think our oldest was over 4 before we took her to a children specific performance of the Nutcracker. We also took several weeks beforehand to review what behavior would be expected of her during the performance.

[EnviroBecca]

Much depends on your child. Has she been to long events (like a movie in a theater) before? Is she really interested in seeing this particular ballet?

My son attended his first full-length theatrical performance (our local high school's musical) when he was FOUR MONTHS old. He watched Act I with great excitement but just a few soft gurgles, and he slept through Act II.

I've taken him to "sit quietly in the audience" events at least twice a year all his life. We also attend church weekly, so he's accustomed to the idea of needing to be still and quiet so others can hear.

All last year, he enjoyed listening to my records of The Nutcracker soundtrack, hearing about the story, and dancing as he thought the characters would dance. In December, the week before his 4th birthday, we went to see a professional performance of The Nutcracker after much discussion of proper behavior for this very special occasion. Because he naps in the afternoons but likes to stay up late, I figured an evening performance was a better bet; to prevent tired whining (and add to the specialness!) I let him have 6 oz. of caffeinated soda with dinner. We got seats on the aisle just in case. We arrived early to get used to our surroundings (gorgeous, fancy theater) and use the restroom before the show.

He behaved beautifully. He asked just a few questions, all in whispers. He sat quite still, although he did want to sit in my lap much of the time. He LOVED the show.

He did embarrass me a little bit at intermission, as I was asking if he wanted to go to the restroom or get a drink of water, by standing in the middle of the aisle grabbing himself and saying loudly, "THE MAIN THING I WANT TO DO IS GET MY UNDERPANTS UNSTUCK FROM MY BOTTOM." But it didn't disrupt the performance!

[TEAK's Mom]

Originally Posted by GuildJenn

I was that kid too.

However I do have to sadly say that in my experience most (not all, and clearly not you) parents (including me at times) overestimate their kids' tolerance. I think it's partly because we get used to a certain level of ambiant movement and noise, so our "oh he just whispered a little" can be someone else's "ugh."

I think this happens to all of us from time to time. We all misjudge. For example, I took my girls to the movie theatre to see Wall-E. About halfway through, my oldest dd needed to leave. The thought that humanity could render the planet uninhabitable was just too frightening to her. She whispered very softly in my ear that she wanted to tell me something in the lobby. We quietly walked out and she explained that it was too overwhelming. Since we had been seated on an aisle near the back, we did not disrupt anyone as we left. This, by the way is the same 6 year old who reads Dracula and is fascinated by "The Rite of Spring." We all have different sensitivities and tolerances.

I guess this is a really long-winded way of saying that every circumstance is different. What matters is how we handle the situation. If I had insisted my dd stay in the theatre to finish Wall-E, she would have tried very hard to be good, but would have probably ended up distracting others. It was more respectful of her and those around her to leave. I would have no qualms taking the same child to see a production of "Sleeping Beauty." She knows the music, the story, and the art form and would love it.

OP, you know your child best. If you think that with some preparation she would be able to enjoy the performance and behave well, then try it. If things don't work, just be prepared to leave. Lots of theatres have small TV screens in the lobby so that people who have to step out can see what's happening. It might also help to figure out what your objective is. If your prime goal is to relax and watch the ballet and you would resent having to leave, then find a sitter and go have a great time. If your focus is on your dd's experience of the performance and you can leave without regret, then it might be worth a try. Both are valid.

By the way, I would be irritated sitting next to anyone who didn't behave in a theatre adult or child. What got my hackles up was the idea that someone would be upset at the very idea of a child in the audience. Look at it this way, a child who is sitting still and quiet and enjoying the show is a lot easier to see over. They make for great sight-lines. And, they never get drunk at intermission.

[oceanbaby]

Originally Posted by tayndrewsmama

Side note, for anyone who feels they have paid through the nose for tickets to an event and finds themselves with a sick child on their hands. DO NOT ATTEND. Suck it up and don't go. A girl puked during the show and was obviously very sick before she even came in. Needless to say, people were nothing short of livid about that. Rightfully so. Some people have no respect for others.

Thank you! I have taken my son to the Nutrcacker every year since he was 4.5 - the family performance. It's the regular, full version show, but it's full of other kids. Which is great, because if he whispers a question or something it's no big deal. But it also sucks, because there were so many sick kids there! One sitting across the aisle from us looked like she was going to pass out - feverish, coughing horribly. I know tickets are expensive, but jeez.

[tayndrewsmama]

Originally Posted by oceanbaby

Thank you! I have taken my son to the Nutrcacker every year since he was 4.5 - the family performance. It's the regular, full version show, but it's full of other kids. Which is great, because if he whispers a question or something it's no big deal. But it also sucks, because there were so many sick kids there! One sitting across the aisle from us looked like she was going to pass out - feverish, coughing horribly. I know tickets are expensive, but jeez.

It is very annoying and rude to be subjected to that in such close quarters. It sends a shiver down my spine when people are hacking right behind or next to me.

[Alison's Mom]

I've thought about taking my 4yr DD to something like this. There was a production of Beauty and the Beast - musical version - locally, and when I phoned, they said minimum 5yrs old. So, even though she's really into ballet and I think she actually would sit still - maybe for up to 2hrs, I would wait until she's actually 5.

Aside from the fact that the child might not sit still, might be loud or want to leave, there might be some scary parts. I find that many so called children's fairy tales and stories have some very scary and disturbing parts - poisonous apples, evil stepmothers, killing and murdering - it's worse than the evening news!

[TEAK's Mom]

Originally Posted by oceanbaby

Thank you! I have taken my son to the Nutrcacker every year since he was 4.5 - the family performance. It's the regular, full version show, but it's full of other kids. Which is great, because if he whispers a question or something it's no big deal. But it also sucks, because there were so many sick kids there! One sitting across the aisle from us looked like she was going to pass out - feverish, coughing horribly. I know tickets are expensive, but jeez.

I'm so with you. It drives me crazy when people bring their illness to places that can be avoided. I understand needing to go to the grocery store or even to work or school, but how can a kid sit quietly in a theatre if they're coughing their heads off.

[meemee]

one other thing that i notice with classical music (i dont remember sleeping beauty) is that there is wide range of high and low notes. so there is almost silence and then bang clash comes on suddenly. is your child noise sensitive? would that freak your child out?

another point. if i remember right sleeping beauty has some 'scary' costume/makeup/mask. would that freak your child out?