ADD Support Thread II - Page 12

[heidirk]

yeah, a couple times I've tried to used MDC smilie codes on Facebook. :

[Nelybel]

Hi all,
Thanks for the suggestions and the tutorials on smilies and quoting etc. However, all I see is a 'box' below where I'm writing the message with some smilies in it. When I click on one it just goes up by the title....like this...(and the question mark just appeared up above by the title line.) Sigh.

And I'll try to figure out the quoting thing later. My brain didn't quite grasp it this time. :->

OK - a little intro. I'm a 44 yr old mom of 2. To the outer world, it looks like I've accomplished quite a bit (I have a doctorate in music and have had some success in my career). When my Psychiatrist first asked if I might consider whether or not I have ADD I sort of laughed. I didn't know much about it...but used to joke to myself that I must have ADD. To other people I just joked that I had a brain like a sieve or holes in my head. I've been loathe to explore the ADD thing and usually I love to research something I'm interested in. All my life I've just felt like I'm lazy or self-indulgent or undisciplined because I just couldn't seem to get "real-life" stuff done (like cleaning or paying bills or remembering anything longer than 2 seconds even if it is written down....because you have to actually look at the list - or be able to find it - for it to do any good!!!). As I look back I realize that so much of what I accomplished was with great chaos and stress to myself because I would hyperfocus at the end (new word to me until last week) and kill myself to finish whatever project or paper or assignment or job...including getting out of the house everyday. I used to fear that I would never be able to marry because I was such a mess. I did marry somewhat later than others and the one thing that was a stress in the marriage was this 'real-life'/housekeeping stuff. And then when I had kids it got worse. One was still sort of OK...but two totally spanked my butt. I started "hiding" more in stupid computer games and felt constantly like I was busy all day but never got a.n.y.t.h.i.n.g. done. I felt easily overwhelmed and like a constant failure. I was binging worse than ever and started having panic attacks. So I finally got myself to a counselor (after thinking I should for over a year. It took that long for me to get it organized). I got the counselor primarily for the eating disorder (which is still in process) and after a number of months she gently suggested meds....and sent me to a psychiatrist. Our visits were very business-like (no therapy....just med decisions etc.) but he is the one that said "Hmmmm - perhaps ADD might fit here". It took another year before I got to this point....which is finally researching ADD and looking into meds for it. I feel like this is majorly impacting my ability to parent and my ability to live healthy....because everything comes down to organization and planning ahead....something I seem incapable of doing. I feel like my entire life I have only been reacting to life (and various small and large crisis) instead of acting on it.

Sorry for the long paragraph. I'm trying not to go to my perfectionist side and worry about what I say or edit because I figure I better just let it all be "what it is" in this thread. If not here...where can I.? (Did that make sense?) The kids have brought their star wars game into the bedroom so I'd better stop for now. Just want to say that currently, so much seems to be connecting up in regards to ADD. The way I have friends (never stay in contact etc.) and the way I've somehow managed to cope and get things done....but never in a way that I feel good about etc. I see the Psych guy next Tuesday and I have a lot of questions for him. I'm worried about the gifts I do have disappearing if I go on meds. I'm worried about the side effects. I'm worried that if I don't try meds, I'll never get a handle on this. I think food has a lot to do with it...but I can't get organized enough to manage my food etc. !!!

Anyway - till later,
Nel

[smeisnotapirate]

Nel, I'm a musician, too! Got my bachelor's in music, and will be working on my masters soon (I'm 24, so I have time ). I feel ya about the planning thing - the hardest thing about teaching for me is the lesson planning.

[heidirk]

oh, dear, dear Nelybel!

I could have written your post! And yues, please don't get distracted proofreading posts on this hread, we don';t care! (and , no, the typos in that sentence were not purposeful!)

Maybe you should bring up with your docs whether iot'sd possible for your eating disorder to be a result of your ADD? Many of us have impulse control issues, which take many, many forms.

[Nelybel]

Ohhhh - you guys are so nice. I could just cry. What a relief to be able to talk about my "failures" and not feel so guilty or embarrassed!

Smeis...what kind of music? What age do you teach? I actually love teaching...except for the organizational part. I used to joke that I would take a job that paid half as much as another...if the poor paying job had a secretary!! I used to have to plan tours and fund-raisers and such. Oh the stress!!! Ugh. I taught High School choir and strings for 8 years and while working on my DMA did 8 more years with a church youth choir. I got to teach college for 2 years and loved that too. (come to find out...not that much different than dealing with high school kids :-> ) I started my Masters at age 25 and had a blast. Much more fun taking classes you're actually interested in. Although oddly enough I've usually enjoyed school because I like learning and I'm interested in a lot of things. It just went hand in hand with a lot of stress.

By the way - all my life I've been told I come across very intense (mostly by my family). Emphatic way of speaking...big reactions etc. Has anyone else experienced that? Might that have anythnhng to do with ADD? (Hmmmm - impulse control. I've always been a "what you see is what you get" kind of person. I don't hide stuff well. I see that as a plus in many ways....but it did make my reactions sudden and big. They still are with my kids....and I hate that.)

Interesting about the eating disorder and ADD. I was very interested in that nutrition article someone posted about a while back. I do know that once...about 4 years ago...I managed to follow a very strict, pure way of eating for about 8 weeks...and by 6 weeks I had a mental clarity that was very new and unusual for me. I never related it (at the time) to getting things done....but I certainly "knew my own mind" in a way I never had before...or since!! I'll ask him....and my therapist. Interesting.

Thanks again!
Nel

[heidirk]

ummmm, intense? YES! ME!!! I have scared away many many potential friends! I'm developing a sense of humor about it though, b/c now a lot of my friends have ADD!



What 'diet' were you on? I had that happen too, when I was on Atkins. (no it's not all bacon.)

That's one of the hardest things about being preggo, and nursing, I MUST eat carbohydrates. Really, normally I could go almost entirely w/o them!

I just realised I've been preggo and/or nursing since September of 2005?

[journeymom]

Nelybel, impulsive and intense, definitely. I've been described that way.

Take your time absorbing all the new information you're finding. Give yourself time to come to terms with new ways of thinking about yourself. It really is amazing, isn't it!

Question about ritalin! I'm aware that ritalin can lessen the user's appetite. My daughter's appetite lessened a little after she started ritalin.

If you or any of your relations use ritalin, have you had the opposite reaction, being ravenously hungry??

Which reminds me, I was going to mention diet related to ADHD, as well. I've seen low blood sugar connected to adhd a few times. Not as a cause, but as something that exacerbates adhd. If your blood sugar level isn't sufficient and steady your mental acuity can be impaired. This is true for everyone, but the affects are more dramatic if you have adhd. The solution is to eat regularly, all those beans, veggies and whole grains that we already know are so good, because they take longer to digest than simple, refined foods do and therefor have better staying power. Also, a little protein through out the day, because again, it give the brain some staying power.

I make excellent buttermilk pancakes, if I do say so myself. The Saturday or Sunday morning when we have stacks of pancakes with maple syrup and dh's excellent coffee, I can guarantee that within 2 hours I will have crashed and be a shaky, unfocused, useless mess.

[smeisnotapirate]

Originally Posted by Nelybel

Ohhhh - you guys are so nice. I could just cry. What a relief to be able to talk about my "failures" and not feel so guilty or embarrassed!

Smeis...what kind of music? What age do you teach? I actually love teaching...except for the organizational part. I used to joke that I would take a job that paid half as much as another...if the poor paying job had a secretary!! I used to have to plan tours and fund-raisers and such. Oh the stress!!! Ugh. I taught High School choir and strings for 8 years and while working on my DMA did 8 more years with a church youth choir. I got to teach college for 2 years and loved that too. (come to find out...not that much different than dealing with high school kids :-> ) I started my Masters at age 25 and had a blast. Much more fun taking classes you're actually interested in. Although oddly enough I've usually enjoyed school because I like learning and I'm interested in a lot of things. It just went hand in hand with a lot of stress.

In college, it was conducting and voice. I'm now the Cantorial Soloist at my synagogue. I teach an adult choir, a children's choir, manage a high school music consortium, teach chanting to the B'nai Mitzvah students, cantor Friday night and Saturday morning services, teach religious school music for ages 2-18, and teach voice and piano to congregants who are interested.

My biggest fear about the job is planning our music festival. It gives me ulcers.

Originally Posted by heidirk

ummmm, intense? YES! ME!!! I have scared away many many potential friends! I'm developing a sense of humor about it though, b/c now a lot of my friends have ADD!

Yuppers! I do that, too. After meeting someone once, I come off like HEY I'M YOUR BEST FRIEND!!!!!!!!!!! But it's really just me being that enthused about everything.

[heidirk]

Hey, Smee, you signed on the house, right? How's it going?




AAM- today, I am all, 'OK, I can do this, I can get this house under control and keep it that way' one minute, and ready to burn it to the ground the next minute.

Is it any wonder that all I can manage some days is crawl into a virtual hole and hide from my life?

I found my Motivated Moms download! : That might have something to do with my delusions of grandeur today.


I can say two good things about today, 1) I am ahead of the laundry!!! 2) My dishwasher door is clean! OK, three things, 3) I have read to DS1 this morning! oh, 4) and I called the E-town Historical society about getting hiostorical status granted for our house, and maybe get some help in restoring it.


OK, now back to work!

[flminivanmama]

Heidi - I also do way better on a low carb diet.

journeymom - my ds takes ritalin & has low blood sugar. the ritalin completely ruins his appetite but if he doesn't eat frequently he's a total mess

[smeisnotapirate]

Yup! We own TWO houses now. :

We've been cleaning like maniacs. Anyone else love doing mindless work? I feel so centered when cleaning or pulling staples out of a wall (don't ask ).

[heidirk]

I totally understand, ripping out the old carpet in our living room was some of the most satisfying work I've ever done!

[Maggirayne]

Hmm, re: the diet thing, when I was on the candida diet I felt likeI had a brain. I ate tons of veggies and meat and rice (which wasn't technically allowed, but man, it was hard enough).

I contributed the fogginess to yeast overgrowth.

Sara, yay! Congrats! :
And I totally get enamoured with organizing say, the top of my dresser and the rest of the room can look like a hurricane hit.

[Maggirayne]

And re: diet--I've been craving Coke with this baby.
But I can't tell much difference.

I made this for supper tonight with grilled Cajun chicken (on our new grill). I added xylitol since we're minimizing sugar--a good thing, Elisabeth loved it. She totally ignored the cucumber I had left out for her and ate the salad.
It was super easy but really good.

My changes:
I didn't measure anything--lol!
one cucumber
1 1/2 small/med tomatoes
dried Basil instead of fresh parsley
dash of garlic powder
added some onion only in mine--DH doesn't like it.
1 1/2 tsp of xylitol
dash of balsamic vinegar
I used maybe a TBP of white vinegar and lemon each

Dave's Tomato and Cucumber Salad
http://www.epicurious.com/recipes/fo...r-Salad-108504
Ingredients:
* 1/3 cup olive oil
* 1/4 cup fresh lemon juice
* 1 tablespoon distilled white vinegar
* 1 1/4 teaspoons salt
* 1 teaspoon ground cumin
* 1/2 teaspoon black pepper
* 3 3/4 lb vine-ripened or plum tomatoes, cut into 1/3-inch dice (4 cups)
* 1 lb seedless cucumber (usually plastic-wrapped), cut into 1/3-inch dice (2 1/2 cups)
* 3/4 cup finely chopped fresh curly parsley (from 1 bunch)
* 1/4 cup finely chopped onion (preferably sweet onion, such as Vidalia or Walla Walla)

Directions:
Whisk together oil, lemon juice, vinegar, salt, cumin, and pepper in a medium bowl. Add tomatoes, cucumber, parsley, and onion and stir to combine. Let stand at room temperature 10 minutes before serving.

[heidirk]

wow, sounds good! I'm drinking a Coke right now. . .


I took my 85 year old Grandmother out for her birthday dinner today! She wanted to go out for Chinese! I love my Gram, she is possibly the coolest Grandmother ever.




I have also been crocheting up a storm the last few days, I'm perfecting a string bag design I've been working on for a while, in my head. If it turns out well, I'll make a few more, and then there is a local store that said they will try to sell them for me! : I'm going to make some more of the cotton crocheted stuffed balls for babies that I've made, meybe they will sell too.

And, ourgarden is ready for planting! IL's brought over the rototiller, and worked the two patches for us. So Monday, I'll be outside putting in carrots, onions, peas, lettuce, spinach, swiss chard, and. . . not sure what else. Oh, tomatos and peppers, but they'll have to waitfor another week I think.

I wish we had gotten more hardcore housecleaning done, but I will try to be saatisfied with what we accomplished instead!

[Maggirayne]

Yeah, ITU the hardcore cleaning. I tried folding laundry, but if you don't get it all done and put away, then you're redoing it. Which I'm doing. Sigh. I suppose I could have DH put some things away.

I had lost and found my May DDC beads. I joined both May and June and did both bead swaps. I love beading. If I get the laundry all folded and the table cleared, I am going to let myself do beading. :

Yesterday I found out two online friends are expecting! Fun! And today at church I found out that an acquaintance (who I'd talked to in the cry room and also met online on Diaperswappers, and she figured out the connection!) anyway, learned that she had a homebirth with another midwife I know.

I should make a to do list and come back and update.
Today:
Fold laundry (did I say that before? lol)
Clear table
Run load of Laundry

DH picked up all the toys yesterday, so I'm not falling over blocks and duplos--yay!

This week:
Monday:
Playdate 10:30 am
Natural Mamas 6 pm
Make necklace for Christy
Order Green Pastures stuff from coop

Tuesday:
Pack for trip
Get some more 'new' toys for airplane ride
Mail package and book

Wednesday:
Finish packing for trip
Chiro appt 11 am

Thursday:
Counselor appt 9:45 am
Airport at noon
: (I wanted to see her before going to see my mom. Pray for me if you think of it. I'm 8 months preggo, have a very active toddler and being around family is stressful. And I have this much patience.)

I am reading this article about setting goals, and it is really good. She has some more good articles about organizing.

And a tip for getting laundry done that's helped me--I load the washer the night before and add the soap, so all I have to do is hit Start the next am. If I run it, it sits there all night and most of the next day--phew. And if I don't load it, it's lunchtime before I get it loaded.

[heidirk]

hey all, computer's on the fritz again, so if I dissapear, you know why!

i'll check back leter if I can!

[smeisnotapirate]

Heidi, Toby loves your little crocheted ball! I think you could make some money from that idea.

So this house........... woo. Lots of mindless work to be done. We're going to have a priming party soon. I think we've agreed to clean up the main house, prime and put the floors down in it, and close off the in-law quarters until we can rustle up a Home Equity LOC. Ceilings need to come down in the in-law quarters before we can open it up again.

Sooooooooo I get to spend the week scrubbing walls and getting things ready to prime. THEN, we get to paint EVERY SURFACE in the house - windowsills, trim, walls, ceilings.

Yeeeek!

[heidirk]

Good Luck on thehousework, Sara!! I am so glad he likes it! It was fun to make! Milo got teething biscuitsmeared all over is, so I popped it into the wash, andit came outlooking like new! I need to go getmore yarn. and stuffin's!!


The bag is coming along nicely. If I can turn them out fast enough, I should be able to make something from that.

got lots of work to do this week. oy, I need to go to bed.

[smeisnotapirate]

Heidi, I meant to ask - how do you like the FlyLady system? I feel like I need something more structured, but I never hold myself to anything.